Drunk @ Tabs & Interview @ ESH

Let's recap. It has been an eventful weekend. I was on leave on Friday. Attended a meeting with Alex in his office. It was tea thereafter in Bugis and i came back to office to clear some work. Went off to Gleneagles Hospital to take care of an individual patient. He's from UAE, an Arabic. I managed to learn 4 new Arabic words.

Hamam - Toilet
Boul - Pass Urine aka P.U
Boras - Defecate aka B.O
Myad - Water

Reached home at about 11am the next morning (Saturday) and slept. Didn't have a good rest as my sleep was interrupted. Woke up at 2pm and 4pm respectively. Was supposed to have a meeting with Alex and a partner in the evening, but Alex couldn't make it, so it was post-phoned to Sunday. Since i had nothing on, I met up with my parents in Parkway Parade and ate at Central - the place where the sell Hong Kong Cuisine. Didn't feel like going home so early, so i decided to ask the rest of the 88 thread guys out. Andrew, Jasper and Bastian had already planned to meet at Mox, so i joined them there along with Lulu. I felt like drinking that night so i ordered a Lychee Martini. Julian smsed me to go over to Tabs, so i agree and brought all the guys (actually only Lulu and Bastian over as Andrew and Jasper had left) over. There was no queue at all at Tabs but there was a long queue at Play. Most prob coz DJ George was spinning that night from 2am onwards - one night only.

Met Guohui and Addie inside. Not too long after, Addie bought aka gave me drinks. 1 jug of Vodka Orange. Well, what to do, had to finish it lorz... And then, Guohui went to buy 10 shots of Teq. and i was asked to take 2 shots. I was getting groggy. Then came Addie again with a Flaming Lambo. After i downed it, i began to feel bad.. And not long after, about 5 mins, i walked to the restroom and puked like a Merlion. Luckily not many people i know were there as i really looked very very unglam then. Left soon after for Maxwell and ordered a place of fried bee hoon. Didn't really finish it. Took a cab home and "plonked into bed and slept all the way. Couldn't really sleep as i was feeling warm and such. Woke up at about 11am and went over to Pierce Secondary School. St John's were having their annual zone 1 first aid cum home nursing competition. Walked around and such. There after, it was nothing much till evening. Met up with Alex and a partner for a business discussion. Went to St James as PowerHouse was having Fabulous Summer. Whoa, it was big with superb sound and lighting. Left at about 2am for home. Slept.

Woke up this morning and headed down to East Shore Hospital for an interview. I was brought into the Operating Theatre and after the interview, i was given a tour of the theatre. It's small and cosy. Man, i think i'm in luck and if i don't get this job, i think i'm just suay and cursed for this year. 1 staff of theirs is leaving back to his hometown on April 14. And here i am, a suitable replacement. The Assistant Director of Nursing told me that most prob i'll be getting the job. Now, i'm just awaiting a call which will come in either tomorrow or Wednesday. If i do get it (hopefully i'll be paid equal or more than my current job), i'll be going for the medical examination on Wednesday or Thursday and I'll start work in East Shore's OT on Monday, 2 April 2007.

Till then,

Take care!

National Service

It's time for me to update my blog. Blogging using my laptop now. No, i'm not in office. It's just that after cleaning up my room last sunday, my desktop decided to give up on me. So now, i've to use my lappy at home. And i can't let me parents know about it, else they'll scream at me. Since I have a monitor and i'm running on my laptop, i'm using the desktop's monitor as the extended desktop. So now, i'm running mIRC on the extended desktop.

The week has been uneventful. Nothing much happened. Went for dinner with a few of the 88 thread guys on wednesday evening to "celebrate" Alvin and Yong Sen's last dinner with us as a civilian. They both enlisted on Friday morning and afternoon respectively.

Went to Play club on friday for their opening. Free flow of champaign. I drank only half a flute as I didn't like it - not the drink but alcohol. Went back again on Saturday for condom distribution. It was Fridae's launch of V5.0 as well. Went to maxwell for supper and came back. Slept at 7am this morning and woke up at 4.30pm. Did nothing until now.

And my company's suffering from HR woes again. Anyone looking for a job? I'm looking for a Web Coordinator as well as a Multimedia Designer. Should you know of anyone suitable, please let me know or ask them to contact me.

Thanks!

My Life's Torn.

Called up Monash University's Singapore representative today regarding my application. They say that there's no news and application usually takes up to 8 weeks. Seems that i'll just have to be patient.

I'm awaiting a reply from Changi General Hospital. I've just sent in an application letter today to East Shore Hospital. ESH is a private hospital managed by Parkway Healthcare Group, which also owns Gleneagles and Mount Elizabeth. It pays definately muich better than CGH. but workload wise, I'm not sure.

I'm going through a bad time in my life now. My pc in the room crashed, no job and no partner.
I feel so much like a spare tyre. Really. This haunts me. It's no wonder i haven't been sleeping well and getting nightmares these few days. This has left me very tired.

Sigh...

Why must love deny you, what your heart believes is right? Why must love cause pain and anger, when it should bring you delight.

The Big Cleanup

I spent last evening and this evening cleaning up my room. From sucking everything up to throwing everything (well, almost) out of my room. I counted about 14 bags in total. I getting ready to buy a new bed. Perhaps a table too. Well, and that would cost like $800 in total. That's expensive.

Going over to Ikea tomorrow with kennie and thereafter to action theatre to watch The Swimming Instructor. I actually planned to meet him early then for lunch. But i think, he'll most prob wake up at noon or even past noon so it's confirmed, guaranteed and endorsed by me that we'll meet after lunch time. (even though he says that he hopes to wake up in the morning, i really have doubts.)

Can it be that i'm not trusting him enough? Or is it that i know that he wun be able to wake up early? well, i'm not sure. i guess it's both. I've been having nightmares for the past 2 nights. And once i wake up, i just hope that it doesn't turn into reality. I'm not sure what i would do if it does. Just jump down for the 23rd floor in bedok south?

I thought it through the other day (quite some time back) about the both of us and what i would do. Suicide - a chicken way? Nah... well, but sometimes, isn't it the easiest way out?

Grrr...

Post Interview

Went for a job interview at CGH yesterday. At first i got kinda excited when the Assistant Director of Nursing asked me if I wanted to work in the Emergency Department as there was a lack of staff there. Then, the nurse clinician from ED came and said, u go back to work in the wards first. It's such a spoiler.

Back to Birthday Thank You's:- Ahteh Jingle, Christel and Ken from Sportsmenasia. I actually bought a tee from SMA, but when Ken found out that it was my birthday, he gave it for free. It's a very nice pink color tee. Limited edition. I'm so delighted.

I'll be giving my world book encyclopedia to someone at last. Now i'm finally getting rid of 1 shelf. I'll have to start cleaning it soon, as i hope to get rid of it by monday. Next would be my games and books. I'll sell it to the rag and bone man to do my part for the environment. As for my music books, I'm not sure what i should do with them. Guess i'll keep those and i'm sure it'll come in handy one day.

I'll be going to ikea on sunday to shop for my bed and buy it. I'm not sure if i should buy the corner desk as well. Sigh...

Happy Birthday MiRaNtZ

I'm 22 now. Celebrated my birthday at Mox Bar and Cafe early this morning. Shortly after mid-night, I was greeted by a birthday cake. But before that, it was dinner at Cafe Cartel @ Marina Square. I shared a Seafood Platter for 3 with Kennie and Alex. Thanks to all present who paid for my dinner.

Alex passed me a present and when i opened it, i got a pleasant surprise - in it was a blue iPod Nano. I've not expected such an expensive gift.

Slept at 4+am this morning and woke up at 7am to head down to St John's for the Home Nursing lesson. Went home and slept at about 3pm and woke up at 8pm just now. My head's feeling a little heavy. Guess it's just not enough sleep.

Thanks very much:- Kennie, Alex, Lulu, Sennie, Bastian, You Jin, Brian, Jasper, Andrew and Edwin. Have i missed out anyone??? I'm sorry if i've missed ya out.

22 Years

It's been some time since I've last updated my blog. Many things has happened. I've resigned from Ann Siang Media and applied to Changi General Hospital. I'm going down for an interview on Tuesday. I'll be helping Alex with his company as he's now attached to his friend's company to do some video-editing job. Both Marcus and I are thinking of something to do. I guess the first project we'll embark would to be to help market Sennie dad's KTV. Hopefully it goes through.

It's less than 25 hours before i turn 22 years of age. Sadly, none of my friend remembered my birthday except for Brian, who still remembers - he asked me if it was my birthday this sunday a few days back. It's such a sweet thing to know that someone still remembers you.

I've been hooked to the music of Dreamgirls. I did up this montage while listening to the soundtrack just now. All the pictures (except for 1 or 2) were taken using my Sony Erricson Z610 mobile phone. As there's no flash, pictures taken in the dark are bad. I had to use Photoshop to brighten it. And as my design skills are bad, please pardon me. These are the people who walked with me and I'm rather close to them. See if you know who they are. IF you're not here, it doesn't mean that you're not close to me, but we haven't taken any pictures together, or you've not sent our pictures to me!

Okie.. Just an update. Sennie remembers it too. He has wanted to ask me out for dinner tomorrow since this evening. So sweet~~~~

Goodnight peeps! I shall wait for Kennie to come home as he's with his kor at Toa Payoh now. I bet he's enjoying himself..

Decision Made & Letter's Prepared!

I've finally made my decision. I've prepared my necessary documents and letters. I've received a positive response and I've also received my ID number - But i do not know what it's for. Is it for tracking my application?

I can't wait for the CNY holidays when I can finally take a break. It's the show, Pickle King tonight at DBS Arts Center, Home of the SRT. Managed to get the tickets for $38 a pair, usual price $94 a pair. Good deal huh? All thanks to NTUC Income. Kenneth's having his exams now - yes now, from 2pm to 4pm. His last paper is today and I'll hoping to bring him out to watch this romantic comedy play, however, he has yet to confirm with me as he's not sure if he can make it. Sigh... I wish that he can...

Nevertheless, I'll be watching the preview of Dreamgirls in a Gold Class cinema with him on the 21st of February at Vivocity. I wonder how the experience would be like in Singapore. I enjoyed the one in Bangkok though. Would this come with a FREE drink?

My stomach's giving me problems. Not feeling very good - I guess it's the bee tai mak that i ate this morning. Sigh.... Now staring at a cuppa of green tea, hoping that it'll make me better.

Have a Blessed Lunar New Year people!

To quit or not to quit?

I've no mood to work today. Came back from sony bmg's office not too long ago, after collecting some materials. Cleared all my emails and such. I'll have to continue with some other stuffs later.

Just before i was about to leave my house for sony's office, i received a call from uk. No doubt who it's from. After the 1st sentence, i just kept quiet all the way. I've learnt a new technique. I think i should just apply the technique whom i use for my patients. I'll just keep quite and not say anything. I shall just put the phone away from my ear until i hear that there's not much noise coming out from the ear piece and then start listening again. If you're not happy with it, too bad.

I'm mixed up. The big word of resignation is all over my head. When i was on the train, i didn't have the mood to read the bible. All there was were music jarring out from my handphone. I could just resign now. In fact, i feel like just taking everything of mine - my lappy, my files and personal belongings, just copy all the work emails and files into a cd and walk out of the office and never to return to the office again. I don't care even if i get my 9 days worth of salary - it's peanuts. I could just go back to do nursing full time as an agency nurse or in a private hospital (i would love to work in gleneagles or raffles - but then again, i've heard that raffles dun really pay well). I can just call my agent right now and tel him that I'm free from now on, and i might even get my job tonight or tomorrow morning. I wouldn't even mind doing floor duties - at least i'll get paid about 2 to 2.5 times of my current salary.

But again, if i were to walk out like that, what will happen? No one will be replying to the support emails. GH can do the filing of the documents. What about Brave? There'll be no one to take over. It'll just close. Besides, closing it is also a good option. How many jobs can you get when you dun have quality models or talents?

It's dim sum at dragon gate tomorrow for lunch with lulu and a few of the 88 thread guys and then the dreamgirls party at night. Sunday's the first lesson for the basic home nursing course which i've to teach. 41 students in total with only 2 guys inclusive. Thereafter, i'll have to rush over to amk mrt station for the open house which i'll be going over with kennie.

Should i just listen to my mum, who's been asking me to resign since i started joining this company to go back to nursing? Or should i just slack at home and just concentrate with film 5 and help lulu setup his new company? Perhaps i should just start another company - MiRaNtZ Consultancy. I bet lulu's enjoying himself now in KL, gorging away on food. Perhaps, i should have just cleared my leave, go with him for the trip and resign.

Sigh.... What should MiRaNtZ do???

=(

This Sux!!!

I added in a row of wrong string of commands and accidentally deleted all the formatting and clicked save.

Everything's gone... Sobs....

I'll put everything back piece by piece again when i have time, slowly.

:(

I believe in Jesus

Title of this post is such as the lyrics of the song I'm listening to now is such.

The day after i started ignoring someone, i received a message that they had parted ways, and would remain only as friends. This left my thinking.

Watched Just Sebastian last night at the Esplanade Recital Studio with Sennie. It was quite ok. Jeremy was supposed to meet us at the door at 10.30pm, but he was late as usual. We proceeded to the new club, Play. It was bad. Music was horrendous as well. If they dun change their music, i guess they need not renovate the place as even after they renovate, no one would go...

Met Nikki and her boyfriend inside Play. Since it was so bad, i proceed to Mox with Sennie and Jeremy and Nikki joined us thereafter. And we headed to Maxwell shortly with Nikki's other-half tagging along. Nikki went home and Sennie and I sent Jeremy to Andrew's house. He fell asleep rather soon. Not sure how true that is as he didn't even answer my calls or smses. Sennie and I walked around the city and i reached home and slept only at 8.30am.

It's my mum's birthday today. I was supposed to have a dinner with my parents at my friend's place as well as a appointment with Shahril, my ITE classmate at 2.30pm. Dinner was from Amici. My friend's son opens an upmarket Italian restaraunt with an outlet at Holland Village and Tanjong Pagar. Since i slept only at 8.30am, i pushed the appointment back to 4pm. And I had to cancel the appointment with him as Jeremy wanted to meet me to cut his hair at Bedok as well as for dinner. He arrived home at 4pm and wanted to nap till 6pm. It was fine with me. I called him at 6pm, 6.10pm, 6.16pm and 7pm. No answered. Alas, i knew that i had wasted my day on him. Now, everything's gone just because of 1 person. I should have left the house and headed down to Bishan at 6pm when my dad smsed me asking if i really didn't want to join them intsead of me waiting for him. That's just how foolish i am all because of someone who's always late.

He smsed me at 8.45pm with Sorry. Can it be undone? It just seems that being late, but about 20mins to 30 mins is just a norm for someone. So what if his clock is 20 mins faster? It's of no use. The mind thinks to itself that it's ok as the clock's fast and therefore, you're back to square 1.

He wanted to meet me again tomorrow. I declined as he still had his research to do. He's already failed one of his tests, getting a 9/20 mark. I wouldn't want to be blamed for him not doing well. And besides, there's no use of me meeting him. Let's say, if we were to meet say for dinner, for 2 hours, the actual time spent would only about for 1.5 hours as 30 mins would be wasted on waiting for him. What's the use? I would rather spend the 30 mins doing someone more productive and useful.

I'm not sure of my plans tomorrow. Today has gone down the drain and i have a feeling that tomorrow will go down the drain as well.

My last meal's at 2am at Maxwell early this morning. It's back to my cereals now. I'm famished.

I pity myself for getting into all this shit. Self pity.

Roller Coaster Ride

Let's recap. Last Saturday, Nikki, Eejin(Nikki's boiyfriend), James, Jeremy and I went to JB for dinner. We had Kang Kong, Kai Lan, Black Pepper Crab, Chilli Crab, Bao, Cereal Prawns, Hot Plate Toufu, Stingray and 1 coconut. It cost each person only SGD$16. Is that cheap? I think so... Before that, we were at City Square's having cakes and it was heavenly. haha... And it's cheap also... We went to Taboo thereafter and Jeremy got hooked up this australian guy. They kissed and kissed. Jeremy seem to like it lots... And for his safety, i had to drag him out and send him home.

Sunday - nothing. Went to Chomp Chomp Hawker Center for dinner with Jeremy and Marcus. Had Satay Bee Hoon, Satay and Sugarcane Juice. If kennie was there, i'm sure he would have enjoyed it. Thereafter, we proceed to Jeremy's house. I found out that Jeremy's dad used to be a nurse as well - as he had nursing books in his room. Marcus and Jeremy began hugging and such on bed. I was feeling very uncomfortable then and so I just used Jeremy's Mac to surf Trevvy and clear my emails. I nearly missed the last bus home. Thanks to the new bus service, 45.

Today, I met both of them for dinner again. It really hurts me very very much to see a couple, even though unofficial, to be so sweet, close and intimate with each other. It's not jealousy but envy. My heart ached. All the thought about Singlehood and Loneliness flooded my mind.

I've decided to keep a distance and stay away from Jeremy for the time being till I've settled down - say about a month or so. I'm not sure how long i'll take. Jeremy cried when i told him over the phone last nite about it. Am i just being selfish? I think i'm not. He's just losing me, a friend, temporarily. He still has someone's love. What about myself? I'm parting from him and I've no one to love me. Well, what about Kennie??? I simply do not know. I feel so much that it's like a single-sided love. Does he love me? Does he even like me? I do not know. Shittt... I'm crying and my tears are just rolling down non-stop and i'm really sobbing... Imagine loving someone with all your heart, soul and mind that that someone is just not being responsive. It really hurts. My heart aches...

I've been playing christian music in office the whole day and i started reading my bible this evening. I just need someone. Does Jesus help? Yes, i know He will and there's no doubt about that. But still, i need someone physical. It just really hurts and pains my heart...

Oh Lord You've searched me,
You know my way.
Even when I fail You,
I know You love me.
Your holy presence surrounding me,
In every season I know You love me.
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There's no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now.

You go before me,
You shed my way,
Your hand upholds me,
I know You love me.

You tore the veil, You made a way,
When You said that it is done.
And when the earth fades, falls from my eyes,
And you stand before me I know You love me,
I know You love me.

I love you, Kenneth.

Third week of January 2007

How time flies. It's already the third week of January 2007. Nothing much productive has been done this week. Went for a Brave photoshoot on Tuesday and managed to take the Sentosa Express - on its second day of operations. It's quite ok and nice la...

Went to Lennel's house on Wednesday night to watch the movie 15 by Roystan Tan and also Jack Ass 2. Jack Ass 2 wasn't really funny - it was lame, therefore making people amused.

Had my church's Choir cum AV annual dinner & gathering at Roxy Mercure Hotel on Thursday. $25 per head and the spread was well, quite acceptable - what you would expect in an average buffet.

Went to The Pump Room @ Clary Quay just now as they were having a fund raising event for AfA. The turnout was quite good. I was bored throughout. Luckily Marcus was there with Jeremy to accompany me.

Kenneth has been very busy and tired lately due to his many projects and assignments. He was involved as an usher also yesterday and today for NP's open house. Poor him... I hope he really gets the rest that he should get and that he wun fall ill.

I'll be out to NP's open house tomorrow to see the Nursing Department as well as the Film and Media Studies. Den i'll be heading off to JB for dinner with Nikki, her boyfriend, James and Jeremy. Thereafter, it'll be off to Taboo for some clubbing. I don't dance, so i'll just go there to chill out.

It's a pity that Kenneth can't join me due to his studies and that he's not allowed overseas with his friends. I'm sure he would enjoy it. But nevertheless, i hope to spend more time with him during his semester break in mid-February before he goes to the next challenge - Year 2.

Goodnight peeps!

New Specs

Went to Free Community Church today with Jeremy and Nicholas. Thereafter, went to Maxwell for lunch and to Marina Square and Suntec City for a walk with Jeremy. I bought myself a CD from Hillsongs Live - Might to Save. Parted ways at about 4pm and i went to Katong Shopping Center to collect my new pair of specs. It's orange in color. It's off to Bedok Library to borrow some books on posing and photography.

Home for a nap and then now up. Will be sleeping again soon.

I miss kennie... sobs...

M.A.C VIVA Glam Lip Stick

Kennie has been rather busy these days as his semester's ending and has lotsa projects to complete. Poor him... Went out with him on Thursday night to watch Forbidden Chestnuts. It's a nice play.

Went to Tangs today to sell the M.A.C VIVA Glam Lip Sticks. All proceeds from the sale goes to the M.A.C AIDS Fund and in Singapore, it goes to Action for AIDS (Singapore). Sun Yan Zi, Neo Swee Lin, Lim Kay Siew, Tan Kheng Hua, Chua En Lai, Nick Shen, Pam Oei, DJ George and the entire Power98 crew was there as well as Hossan Leong. He talked on air the longest and frightened away a small girl. Poor her. She must have been traumatised by Hossan... Wonder if he'll leave any bad impressions on him when she grows up. haha...

Found out that my friend is a licensed hypnotherapist. I wonder if i should go for it to control my weight and loose weight. It'll definately work.

Will be watching Just Sebastian on 26th of Jan and Hossan's stand up on the 31st of January. Might be going to KL either on 1st February night by night train on 2nd Feb morning by bus and return on the 4th.

I'm a good boy. Am going to Free Community Church tomorrow morning.

Goodnight peeps.

Sick

The Queen's sick. Down with a slightly blocked nose and fever with a lil' sore throat - due to talking too much.

Went to St John's HQ for a meeting at 11am. to Heeren for prize giving ceremony for AfA - was the photographer. Went to watch Death Note 2. Went Carrefour and home. Now still sick.

Goodnight.

2007's first entry & Back from Bangkok!

Hi all,

It's my first post for year 2007 and I'm back from Bangkok, safe and sound, alive and kickin', in 1 piece, despite the 8 bomb blasts that went off on new year's eve.

Quite a lot of things to blog about - the bomb blasts, my trip in bkk, and the submarine cables...

Will do so when i'm free. Kinda busy now as work's piling up...

Have a great 2007 everyone!

::: Blessed Christmas :::

It's the 25th of December. It's the time of the year that's anticipated by everyone as it's the last public holiday for everyone and it'll be a new year soon. Merry Christmas everyone!

Went to church early this morning and went to help my church members with the stage lighting. In the end, i ended up doing last minute lighting design as no one had any idea about it. sheesh...

Thereafter, came home to take a rest, shower and left to meet my friends from the 88 thread at bugis. Some were late and we waited for half an hour. We proceeded to NAFA campus 3 for Free Community Church's Christmas Service. Was late by about 10 mins and coz of that, we got the front row - i really mean the 1st row.

Buffet dinner was provided by Purple Sage Creative Catering. Boy, the food was good and not to say the deco. Went to celebrate Marcus, Alvin and Daniel's birthday thereafter. Had a white christmas log cake from the passtiser. Boy, it WAS good as well.

All the time, even though i might seem rather active and cheerful, deep inside, i was missing kennie very very much. How i wish he could be with me and enjoy all these together. I'm pretty sure that he'll enjoy all these too...

Argh~~~ I'm drowning in my own sadness - rather, this feeling of loss, of missing kennie. I miss him very very very much and i can't wait for him to be back tomorrow. I checked the flight schedule and i think he'll touch down at 6pm at terminal 2. But sigh, i'm unable to pick him up from the airport. Even if i can, what will his parents and sisters think? Sigh.....

I really miss him. I do.

Annual Christmas Dinner & Pictures

Dinner at my cousin/aunt's place has became an annual event. During Christmas eve, my family and I will be over at their place to have dinner. Last year, it was Turkey and this year, it's ham. And yours truly was the one who cut the ham as well and cooked. As always for dinner and functions.

How i wish that kennie's around so that i could have dinner with him as well as cook for him to eat. How i wish i could celebrate christmas with him. Sigh, i'm unable to celebrate the new year's arrival with him as well. It's so sad. I miss him... :(

Some pictures now...

Countdown

The end of December is nearing. It's 21st of December today. 4 more days to Christmas, 5 more days before Kennie returns from his Korea trip and 10 more days before the last day of the year and 11 more days to year 2007.

I'm now in church blogging. My church's choir is having a rehearsal for christmas and i was asked to come to sit around and i'm actually not much needed. In fact, not needed at all - just wasting my time and rotting here. Nothing much to surf and no one's online on MSN to chat with me. I miss Kennnie. How i wish i could be there with him. I guess he's not missing me at all and happily enjoying himself in Korea with all the cute and/or hunky guys there.

Went to watch Jack and the Bean-sprout. I'm sure Kennie would enjoy it very much if he was there to watch it. It's a good phantomine with Ivan Heng dragging. How i wish i can come up with a short musical next time with all AJ casts and reversal of roles. Males as females and females as males. I'm sure that would be a hit. And of course, it'll be slammed by the mainstream media and the straights, especially in Singapore.

Well, i bought a christmas present for Kennie. I'm sure that he'll definately like it. I certainly miss him. It's so sad. he's returning only on the 26th and i do not even know what time he'll be back and i'm flying off to bangkok on the 28th noon. I don't even know if i can meet up with him. I wish i can, else i'll suffer from KWS. Kennie Withdrawal Syndrome. haha...

Take care everyone. Have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed Gay New Year!

Photo shoots

It's been tiring weeks. Had 3 photoshoots in all this week. 2 for showcase and 1 for portfolio.

Went to Sentosa for portfolio, east coast park and bukit timah for showcase.

I'm damn freaking tired.

I'll just go and sleep soon...

Going to watch Magic of Love tomorrow night with kenneth, lennel and his friend...

I love kenneth.

Busy week again

It's December! It's less than a month's time that I'll be going to Bangkok. Whee~~~ And kennie will be going to Korea in about 3 weeks time or so.. I think that I'll be missing him very much when he's away. sobs...

It's been another busy week. 5th Singapore AIDS Conference, Trevvy Launch Parties - Part 2 of 2 and Team Trevvy /New Balance Standard Chartered Marathon 2006.

The conference at 8am, party at 11pm and marathon at 6pm. GH and Dom was kind enough to get a room for me at Hotel 81 for those going to stanchart marathon to bunk in.

Managed to close my eye for at least 1 hour plus ba... Den during the marathon, back to hotel to sleep, den after that, me and kennie went to eat the hock lam street beef kuey teow. He said that it's nice.. hehe... Slept from 3pm on sunday and woke up only at 10am on monday when i heard my phone vibrated. Kennie smsed me...

I love Kennie...

Goodnight people...

Busy Week

It's been a busy week. I left office at 11.45pm on thursday night and 1.30am on friday night (or should i say saturday morning) . All for preparing for the Trevvy Launch Parties - Strawberries & Cream. It's tomorrow (tonight actually as it's already sunday) at the show will start at 11.30pm.

Was at office again today since 2.30pm and was there all the way till 11.15pm and then headed over to Happy for the monthly Sweat parties. It's the last Sweat party for the year.

Now waiting for kennie to finish up whatever he's doing (homework - pity him) and then it's time for me to call him and chat.

Goodnight people~

Sony Ericsson Z610

Woke up at 9am this morning and went to church. Had to supervise the AV for a church wedding in my church. Started only at 11.30am. Wasted my time. If i had known, i would have woke up only at 10.30am - 1.5 hours more of sleep for me and that's very precious to me.

After church went to meet Kenneth. wanted to take 67 from tampines to his place to pick him up. instead, decided to take 168 to woodlands and then 963 to his place as it might take a little shorter time. 168 passed by the new Ikea at Tampines North Avenue 2. It's big, might be even bigger than the present store at Alexandra road. After arriving at woodlands, i decided to go to causeway point to check out the hello store as i've been wanting to get my phoneline but unable to as i can't get my phone. i went to double confirm to see if the phone's really gone. Yes, it's selling like hotcakes.

At the event space, MediaCorp was having the Star Awards 2006 roadshow. Desmond Koh and Lin Peifen were the hosts. Managed to take a few photos, but were quite bad, all thanks to my 1.3megapixel Nokia 6230i. And guess who i saw - a real good looking guy. He looked very familar but i just can't remember his name until i showed Kenneth his pic wen i met him. It was Julian Hee!

Took 963 and met Kenneth. We then went to have dinner at the foodcourt at Cineleisure. Thereafter, it was off to the Teleshop at Taka to get my phone. I had earlier reservered at via 1626 as it was already the last set left. Ta-da~~~ My blue color Sony Ericsson Z610i. I had earlier wanted a pink color, but it was all sold out since 2 weeks ago. Kennie was the one who choose the phone for me and he kinda liked the color as well, so i can say that i bought the phone and all tat coz of his recommendation.

We took photos at Wisma Atria. They have a nice Christmas deco over at the atrium.

Time to leave, and we left. Nothing much. I'm happy. He's mapleing now and i'm waiting for him, den time 2 sleep! Going with him to Duolus tomorrow as i can't find anyone to go with me. He's so nice to want to accompany me.. hehe... Lucky me!

Busi

These few days has been rather busy for me in the office. Lotsa things to see to. 1 new staff coming in, 1 staff leaving and another taking urgent leave. That takes away all the extra time to shake legs in the office away. Ooops... :x

I miss him, even though we have been chatting over the phone almost every night. It's been some time since we last met. I just miss his physical presence. But well, he's always in my heart. You know, the feeling of loving someone yet not being able to call him your other half, is horrid. Is it just another test of patience? And the worse thing is that, i'm already treating him like my other half, in fact, he's my unofficial other half. I think of him when i'm at work, i think of him wen i'm having lunch, i think of him wen i'm busy even, hoping that he's fine and sometimes just wondering how he is and what he's doing. I hope that i wun be hurt by him though. sigh...

Sometimes, i have the thought that he's just using me as a temporary replacement as he's on a rebound from a bad relationship. And whenever i think of that, i'll feel very very very upset and bad. sighs... who knows if it's even true...

Now waiting for him to finish his conversation with his friend, and i'll wait for him to decide if he still wants to chat or not.. i dun wanna tire his mouth out. haha...

Going swimming tomorrow with lennel. Asked kenneth along but he's lazy. Well, i dun wanna force him so yea, just let him be.. anyway, i'll already be meeting him this saturday. Can't wait to see him again. I just love him. sigh.......

Halfway through blogging, i went to pee. While peeing, i was thinking to myself, why am i getting this feeling? The feeling of loss. I guess i'm getting possessive. i can be wen i feel "endangered". Do i feel like i'm loosing him? Comeon, it's only a long phonecall that he's on wif his friend. How can he every tolerate me if i always act, behave and feel this way wen ever he's on the phone for a long long time??? Well, i guess i just feel threatened. Sigh...

Why is it that i'm not "single"? Why did i get "attached"? I seriously do not know the reason even. Why do i like him of all others? I can't even explain it. He's just an average boy-next-door. Well, i guess it's coz of his heart, attitude and personality. He's just different.

Why can't everyone just be single without any problems? Why do i long for him? I long for the day whereby i can just hold his hand and walk down the aisles in church with wedding bells ringing. Well, i guess, at this stage and point in time, just being able to hold his hand will do.

My mood now: mixed and a lil sad. Asked him if he wanted to chat still and he said yes. I would never want to disappoint him, but, i'm just feeling very bad. The longer i'm waiting in vain, the worse i feel. I just feel like crying, well, in fact, a tear just rolled down my cheek. Is he really worth the wait? I would say yes still though... sigh... Why did he trap my heart? No one knows.

Goodnight people...

Blogger Beta, 萃威 and Wink TV

Some of you may know that Blogger now is part of Google and there you have, Blogger Beta. I've converted and migrated my account. Have you?

Just as we have Trevvy Beta. And the site's no longer under test. We also have a chinese name - 萃威 (cui4 wei1).

Wink TV, Asia's first broadband and video channel is now live after nearly 2 months of development. However, only users in a few Asia region are able to view it due to the rights.

Yesterday was my cousin brother's wedding. Blessing in the morning at Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church (TA2) over at a place near HarbourFront. Followed by a tea ceremony at my uncle's house in Potong Pasir. Went back home to change and makeup then went for their wedding dinner at Raffles Hotel. It was a real experience.

During the blessing session in church, the reverend and and my cousin said: "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." And at night, my cousin said again during his thank you speech, "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." Hey! What's the matter with it? Is that targeting at me??? So what if i'm gay? I'm not sure if he's homophobic though... For one that i know - ALL guys are NEVER straight. Just get them aroused, and they wun even mind you to jerk or suck them off. That's it!

I've been slacking, stoning and bumming at home for the whole day, doing nothing productive. It's always like that on Sundays. I've made up my mind to buy the water cistern tomorrow afternoon at the hardware shop in Rochor and bring it home to fix it at night. It has been months since it gave way and dropped onto my back while i was shitting and poor me got all wet. Such a good time to drop - imagine yourself shitting and halfway, something drops on you, and gets you wet - and you have NOTHING to flush away your shitt thereafter.

Hope it's not making you puke. Waiting for my beloved Kennie (well, he's not mine la, but how i wish and hope he is) and then, chat with him later. You know, i actually had this dream one night, that he told me that he thinks that we're too close and that we should distance ourselves and be just friends. period. After waking up, i felt so relieved that it was just a dream. I dunno how i would react if it was true.. I think i would go into depression or into a suicide mode... haha... I really love him.. I'm treating him as my other half, even though we're not.

Goodnight people!

Seven Month Itch

I went to watch Seven Month Itch again today, but this time round, with Derrick. He's a straight. My ex's brother. He enjoyed it and me too. It was a little better this time round coz of the audience. When i watched it last Friday, it was just a few of us from Trevvy, AfA, HPB and Fridae.

I've to attend my first "trilogy" of weddings tomorrow, starting with my dad's friend's daughter. I don't even know my dad's friend. Please - call me and entertain me, or at least sms me from 7.30pm onwards to keep me occupied okie??? I would really really appreciate that.

And here's the article from Trevvy, written by my editor regarding the Seven Month Itch.

The awareness is there, but unsafe sex practices between MSM remain a concern. A new play by AfA and TNS attempts to address the issues, but Trevvy’s Kerbing Lee asks, “How?”

The Necessary Stage (TNS) has been commissioned by Action for Aids (AfA), the local AIDS prevention and awareness initiative, to create a play. The Seven-Month Itch is the product. The taglines?

“He has betrayed the trust of his partner. Worst of all, he may be infected”
“Will he be brave enough to take an HIV-test?”
“Will he confess his infidelity to his partner?”

Sounds like one should expect something of the melodrama typical of an after-school sex-ed special. But as even the playwright, Haresh Sharma of TNS, admits, there is a high penetration of awareness of safe sex practices with regards to MSM (men who have sex with men). However, when it comes to the actual practice of safe sex, the figures don’t lie. A whole lot of people just aren’t doing it. So, how does AfA expect to get the message across? Here’s a condom, wear it. Protect oneself. Protect one’s partner. We’ve heard it endlessly. Now what?

Sharma believes that there is some amount of complacency going on. In the incipient days of the AIDS epidemic, there was at least the fear that had people either abstaining from casual sex, or at least practicing safe sex. As advocates for those who had become infected and faced stigmatisation, there was the campaign to educate about transmission, and ways of living with the infection. Health initiatives made HIV less of a bogeyman, exposing how the virus worked and how it could be managed. One’s neighbour could be positive; a relative, likewise. One could be dating an infected individual. But don’t be afraid – no need to discriminate. The sharing of utensils, saliva, or air alone isn’t going to get one infected. Use a condom.

At the same time, get regular tests. If one does get infected, it’s better to find out as early as possible. Even if one is infected, no need to contemplate suicide. With counselling and treatment, one can almost surely resume one’s meaningful existence. Have a boyfriend, pop a few pills, and live out a fulfilling career. Or at least that’s what popular gay entertainment tells us.

So now, we no longer live with the fear. Then, how does one get people to listen? Individuals are weighing the prospect of living with a terminal condition and the inconvenience, and the decrease in pleasure, in the heat of the moment and deciding that the risk of infection is something they can live with. People are still getting infected left and right. It may not be HIV, but there are a slew of other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to be had – syphilis, for one. “So what? That’s curable,” is what one might hear. Now, what is to be done?

It’s tricky to negotiate the landscape, what with the landmines. Yes, an infected individual isn’t someone to discriminate against. Yes, one can manage HIV infection to an extent. At the same time, one must be afraid enough to want to stay safe – whether or not in the interest of oneself, or of one’s partner.

So, if people have become complacent, and are tired of the messages, why come to this play? Sharma believes that people will come if only to enjoy a performance. It doesn’t hurt to feature two attractive actors – Timothy Nga and Danny Yeo – either. As Sharma puts it, MSM refers not just to gay men, “We’re talking about married men, gay men, foreign works.” But he believes that if one can reach at least one part of the equation, maybe next time, this person will think, “Hey, maybe I should do this instead.” From his experience with working on plays that drive social messages – he was previously commissioned by the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) to write a play concerning suicide prevention – Sharma says that it’s important to target pockets of people at a time in outreach, and to promote discussion.

Sharma has created The Seven-Month Itch as an interactive piece. The audience, he says, will feel engaged and become invested in the discussion because they will be allowed to take on the role of the protagonist in various situations and to suggest how this character should act given his options. An audience participant might provide textbook answers, but the actors have been coached to throw in a few curve balls to make it as difficult as possible for them to take the responsible stance. This at least begins to re-create the likely factors that may impair an individual’s judgement when it comes to issues of safe sex and fidelity – alcohol, impetuosity, a gorgeous guy.

The Seven-Month Itch is an attempt by AfA to address some of the issues that can lead to the practice of unsafe sex and the possible transmission of HIV and other STIs in as innovative a way as possible. However, the concern still remains of how effective the execution is going to be. I asked Sharma for his thoughts on the matter. He said that this was his first time working with AfA for a play such as this.

Previously, he had worked with Paddy Chew, the first Singaporean to publicly announce that he was HIV positive. The play, Completely With/Out Character, a one-man show about Chew and performed by Chew in 1999 was Sharma’s first theatrical endeavour dealing with HIV and AIDS. Sharma said that with strain of the production, after every performance, Chew would collapse backstage. But he should show up again the next day without fail. Chew died shortly after the end of the run. Sharma admits that sometimes the situation with AIDS awareness and prevention – especially in Singapore – does get to him. But he feels compelled to do what he can when he thinks back to his work with Chew.

Organizations such as AfA can only do so much. They have clearly done excellent work in the areas of education and awareness. When it comes to the more recent issues with complacently and “condom fatigue”, as one member of the Health Promotion Board as put it, new strategies may be necessary to understand what people are thinking and feeling when they are aware of the risks involved, but persist with unsafe practices such as bare-backing (engaging in anal sex without the use of a condom). Or when people ask what the point of regular STI screenings is. Some feel that by the time they are infected, it is already too late and they wonder why they should bother to find out. Nevertheless, it is still important for organizations such as AfA to continue their work. One only hopes that they are able to evolve their structures and solutions in order to address the new situation before it becomes inevitable that a wave of fear concerning STIs is necessitated again.

Author's bio: Having worked previously as sub-editor (albeit, effectively editor) at a small and limited circulation publication, Kerbing Lee feels that it is time for him to propagate his wise and omniscient views on a larger stage. When not penning down his ever-incoherent thoughts, Lee can be found running like a big, sweaty ostrich around the vicinity of Holland Village, or capsizing kayaks along the far-from-crystal-clear waters of East Coast Park.

Get your tickets $23 now from Gatecrash or you may get it at the door as well. Concessions at $19.

Till then, Goodnite peeps!

It's Novemeber!

Its been 31 days and it's already November 2006. We've another 25 days to go before December 2006 and before you know it, it'll be a new year.

Nothing much has happened these days. Life still goes on. Kennie busy with his studies as usual. I'm just glad that he makes time for me even though he gets pretty tired after all his lessons.

I popped the question again on Friday night. I was disappointed yet again - he's not looking for another relationship.

It's a boring day. And oh well, just live life as it is. I'm just contented that he's my close friend. But of course, i would want more but how can i ever force such thing?

I'll not be able to spend his upcoming December holidays with him. He begins his holidays on the 18th and he'll be leaving for Korea. And when he returns, i'll be leaving for Thailand. Oh well, what can be done now? Cancel my trip and upset my parents and waste money? Well, i'll just have to wait till his holiday perhaps - just to spend time with him.

Signing off.

Sunday again

It's Sunday. Nothing much happened though. Let's start for yesterday.

Was Saturday yesterday. Duh. I slept rather late on Friday night as i was chatting with Kennie on the phone. I was woken by the ringing of my phone at about 6am. It was a work related call and the request was just to ask me to change a picture on the website. Couldn't it be done through sms? I went back to sleep and i woke up again at 10am as i had to go back to office - yes you heard it right. Team Trevvy Standard Chartered Marathon 2006 sponsored by New Balance. Briefing was today so yea. had to go down to open up the office. I feel so much like a office warden - o well, yes i am one. Warden of office and Kennie.. haha... Cleared up some work and rotted in office all the way till about 6 plus. Went to Kennie house thereafter and then went out for dinner at Lot 1. He had beef noodles while i had yong tau foo. It was the prep for my atkins. We went to the playground in CCK. It's nice and a good place for doing photoshoots. I would do photoshoots there in future for Brave. I enjoyed the time spent together with him there. Well, doesn't mean that i don't for the rest, but i enjoyed those moments, having fun playing on the rides (and we're way overaged) and chatting. He left for home and I left for Sweat at Happy. Nothing much and i didn't had the mood. Maybe coz i was tired. Kennie was surfing and didn't was asleep when i reached home so we chatted on the phone before we slept. How sweet it is... I really treasure all these moments we spend together and all that... It makes my heart melt and all the tiredness and sadness just fades away whenever he's around or i hear his voice, well, even if it's just online chatting, i enjoy it.

Slept and woke up only at 4.30pm today. I'm such a pig. I'm not denying it. Looked at my phone and i had 23 missed calls. 18 from the same person. No prize for guessing who it was. It was the same person and same thing again. To change the picture in the website. I had changed it but i changed the wrong one. Well, it's not my fault as he didn't mention it clearly and he sounded like the one one i changed. Well, it's over so yea... double work lorz... Went back to office again for the briefing and came back home.

Had yong tau foo for dinner. It's Day 1 of my diet. My weight is now 56kg and i hope that i can loose some weight ba... I shall try to go on this diet for at least 1 month and if possible, 2 months and i should be happy. And well, i've actually no goal for me weight. so yea... haha... at least i wun be feeling sad if i dun achieve my goal right?? haha...

My very first ex stays in geylang (east). My 2nd ex, which is also my very last one, stays in redhill (central-west). Now, Kennie is staying in the north west. It seems that it's going further and further. people say that distance matters at times. But to me, i do not know why, but i just do not mind traveling all the way to his house just to meet him for dinner, or even to ta bao dinner for him... Why is that so? Perhaps, it's love - that's what they call it ba. It's totally different always. I'm just touched sometimes by the little things he does and says. I simply just love him. I really mean love and not like. The feeling's just different.

Time to sleep and chat with him soon. Signing off!

Missing

Went out for almost half a day with Kenneth. He came over to Bedok and we had lunch at the interchange hawker center. Den we proceeded to parkway parade for a walk followed by east coast park and back to marine parade for dinner. Nothing much actually happened. I just enjoyed the time spent with him very much. How i wish i could spend everyday and ever moment with him, just lazing around.

We left each other about 1 hour ago. Now i'm having a sense of loss. I miss him dearly.

Think I should just go to bed now and stop thinking so much.

Goodnight people.

SunDay

It's a boring sunday...

Didn't even do anything production today. Rotted at home the whole day and spend more than 1/2 the day on bed. Kennie is still better than me as he went out shopping for a pair of trunks at taka with his parents.

My sincere condolences to Terry as he lost his mom to cancer last saturday.

It's monday tomorrow and it's back to work and school. Looking forward to the holiday on tuesday. haha...

Cheers!

Happy Deepavali

It's Saturday and it's a public holiday. Such a waste. How i wish that it would fall on a sunday so that the following day (monday) would be a public holiday as well and then tuesday also would be a PH as it's hari raya puasa. That would be so damn shiok la... imagine 4 days of rest.

My designer was stuck in the lift yesterday. The small tiny lift - prob the smallest lift in singapore jammed... Luckily he was the only one inside else i guess those stuck inside would suffocate to death. Haha... After he was rescued, the lift wasn't repaired. Instead, a sign was just pasted at the lift button - Lift Under Mantainence. Oh well, now i can't access to the office as the lift's spoilt and i don't have the keys to the back door of my office. haha... This is real suey and i never ever expected this to happen.

Today, went to SJAB headquarters for the Officers' Seminar. Not really like a seminar though but it was more of a refresher course for all the new officers who had just passed out from the officer conversion course. As for me, i left SJAB wen i was in sec 4 and until now, i think i've forgotten most of the stuffs le.. Lucky for me, i'll be an officer there so i need not make a new set of uniform - just the coat aka jacket will do and i can wear any tee underneath and black pants and shoes. So that means that low cost for me. haha...

I was immediately arrowed to be the safety officer for the NCO course in dec and i was like, "o.k...". And thereafter, called upon to be in charge of the basic home nursing course which will start in Feb 2007. I was like, "Whoa! Straight away got responsibilities le..." Well, i don't mind it actually. In fact, it's something which i like - passing all the knowledge which i know to others. I have had the passion for nursing and teaching since i was young and i think this is really a good chance for me to pass everything to people whom are really interested to learn. It was supposed to end at about noon - but in the end, it ended at 4pm.

Left HQ and went over to office to deposit the home nursing booklet into my office's letterbox as i didn't want to carry it all around singapore whereever i go.. hahah... Thereafter, took a bus ride to Bukit Panjang to meet up with kennie. We went to Holland Village as he hasn't been there before and then brought him to eat the sam lau (or isit lo) hor fun. He said that it's nice - i agreed (else why would i even want to bring him there to eat???) haha... Then we went back to BP and we walked around in BPP... Den i left for home as it was already close to 11pm.

I really enjoyed the time that i spent with him. I simply love it and i just get this special feeling when i'm with him... Its something which i've not got for a long time.

And please people, kenneth didn't hurt me at all. Let alone hurting me badly. Please do not think that he did and start calling him up to question him or anything. Please. He's so good to me just as i am to him. (oops... am i self praising?? hehe...) If you would like to help me or anything, please come to me directly instead of thinking that he did and you know, in turn get back at him or something.. i would be very hertbroken if you did that as he'll be hurt and i wouldn't want that. So please - don't interogate him horz....

And in the sentence, "i was kinda comforted by his actions and what he said", he didn't apologise to me or anything. It's just something that we discussed - i regret to inform you that it's private and i wouldn't want to share it - which i felt comforted, that's all...

That's all for now. Enjoy your sunday and then it's back to work and/or school on monday people. Dun fret as it's a public holiday again on tuesday, hari raya puasa. That's when the muslims break fast and enjoy eating~~ I myself am looking forward to that day... not coz i'm breaking fast but coz it's a holiday = no work.. yeah!

Nitez ppl... Take care and enjoy.

Thanks people

Thanks guys for all the concern that has poured in. I'm fine now, i guess.

Went out with kennie just now and i was kinda comforted by his actions and what he said... He waited for me to finish work and i met him at the library and we read books.. he read on trains and me on trains and buses. Went to purvis street for chicken rice thereafter and walked around in raffles city shopping center...

Went to suntec to walk around also. His legs were suan so we sat at the sky garden for a while to rest and chat. Thereafter, we walked to esplanade's bus stop and i waited with him for his bus and sent him off.

Even though we're close friends, he's such a part of my life, and i treat him as though as he's my partner - too attached? maybe. I can't image what will happen if he leaves me.

Not having our nightly phone chat for tonight as he's tired. I can tell that. Poor him... but at least he has the whole of tomorrow to sleep. ANd as for me, i've a meeting to attend in the morning at 9.30 at St John's Headquarters at Beach Road. Thereafter, i've no plans all the way. Am supposed to meet this friend of mine who stays in cck, but he's unable to confirm with me as he has his homework to complete. Therefore, if he doesn't get back to me, i'll be left planless. And not sure if i'll be meeting kennie at night for dinner. I hope we will ba... Again - tentative again..

Time to sleep. Goodnight peeps!

Heart B.r.e.a.k

I'm heart broken...

chatted with someone online.. and it seems that the person i chatting with also likes kenneth...

Sobs...

Am i destined to be single and unwanted for my life?

*me wails*

Missing

I have the picture of us taken together in chinese garden as my handphone display pic and screensaver.

My MSN display pic is the same pic. Whenever i feel sad, i look at it - just him alone - will cheer me up. I'm getting so crazy about him and i'm getting head over heels with him. I can't imagine what will happen to me if he leaves...

This post is just a lame and useless post. Just posting it while waiting for him to get ready for our nightly chats.. you know.. he has to eat a lil' and brush his teeth... o wells...

everyday and night, i think about P..Q..R..S..T..U......

My Dreamboy

I got to know him through the forums in Trevvy (SGBOYX), from the thread School boys of 1988 - NO, i wasn't looking for kids. I was just doing my job of checking, reading and moderating the forums. He's a train enthusiast. It's a rare hobby in Singapore. We exchanged contacts and started chatting online over MSN. We met up for the first time and he was rather quiet. I had to do the talking mostly.

It's only after the first time meeting that I began to notice something unique and special about him. We chatted more and more online and began meeting up more frequently. I would go all the way after work to his area just to have dinner with him. He was still having his school holidays and didn't have anything to do. Having broke up from a 2.5 years of a bad relationship whereby his partner cheated on him and possessed him like a kept boy, he's now enjoying his freedom.

He's only 18. But he knows a lot. He's cute, adorable and charming. I can't get my eyes off him. I've been bringing him to whatever movie that i'm watching. He even went into a movie just meant for those aged 21 years and above only. He was even so proud of it - saying that it was his first R21 movie and kept the ticket stub.

We've been chatting for more than a week everynight on the phone. Sometimes, i'm just so touched by his actions. I feel so attached to him and he would just ask me to make decisions for him. We're now more than normal friends. We're special friends and i'm happy with it. I'm just hoping that he'll get over his past relationship soon and pick himself up.

Holding hands and walking down the red carpet down the aisle in church with wedding bells ringing. Everyone hopes and wishes for this. My cousin will be doing so next month. But will it happen for people like us? Well, sadly at this point in time, it will never happen in Singaypore. Perhaps, in a few years time, maybe 10 or so, we'll all be able to walk down the pink carpet instead.

You are my dreamboy. You should know who you are, if you're reading this. Take care.

Innovationation - Play, touch and learn

The tagboard's server's down. I've since removed it temporarily.

Woke up at 9am to wake kennie up. went back to sleep all the way till 11am, bathed and went to meet kennie in the train. Went to singapore expo hall 3 to see the innovationation. Was quite big and interesting. Went to changi airport thereatfter and had lunch there. The skytrain changed. It's nicer but i dun kinda like it. Went to teh budget terminal. it's rather small and nothing much at all. only 1 hans. Brought him to bedok and had a tour of my estate and then we had dinner at the hawker center in bedok south. We had hokkien mee and he said that it was nice. Went to bedok central to eat chendol over at the hollywood stall. The standard had dropped.

Walked around for a while more and i sent him off to the bus stop. After he left, i kinda felt alone all over again. How i wish i could have him with me always. I think i'm getting addicted to him...

Can he be the one that i want? Can he be my significant other half? Can he be the person that i can love and cherish? It's opened ended. It's a BIG question mark.

It hurts.

IMM

Nothing much happened this week. Took care of my patient on monday night and wednesday night. It's friday. Went out with kenneth to IMM and walked around. Took 67 back home and slept in the bus. Will be going with him to Innovation Nation tomororw at singapore expo, den to changi airport, den to bedok and after that, dinner in the west.

Sigh... I'm begining to draw closer and closer to him, but alas, he's not even ready for anything yet. He's still afraid i guess. I'm just waiting for the time and day.... It's not a nice feeling... longing for something and not being able to get it. It takes 2 hands to clap. I've never felt anything like this for such a long long time, more than 2 years to be exact...

I'm waiting and hoping for the best...

SUNday - What's with the Haze and PSI readings?

It's SUNday! The last day of the weekend and the first day of the week (you can tell that i'm not very optismistic here). Slept only for about 6 or so hours after chatting with kennie on the phone and being forced to put down by my mum. She was like screaming her lungs out and i think tat frightened off kennie as well - he described her as fierce. Poor him.

Woke up at 10.15am. Didn't want to wake up initially and felt like just being uncontactable except to the ones close to my heart and *selected* friends of mine so that i could just skip working. I'm like so bad horz.. haha... Of course i didn't and forced myself out of the bed.

My patient wasn't very cooperative today. Slept the whole time. Slept when bathing, slept when eating, didn't want to open his mouth when i fed him and slept when watching tv. Oh wait! How can you sleep when you watch tv - so that goes to say tat he didn't watch at all - i was instead. haha....

Went home and slept all the way from 4.30 to 8pm. Woke up and realised that the haze today wasn't that bad. Went to NEA's website to check the psi readings. I'm a little confused. The readings are different. Oh well, i don't care much as long as i've clean air. How i wished that it was like that on friday and yesterday - not becuase i was out with kennie but coz friday was lantern festival and i went with kennie to chinese garden to see lanterns. Couldn't even see the moon lorz.. such a waste. How 2 shang ye like tat??? Den yesterday movie Xmen2 and Xmen3 at the padang. Well, but even with the haze, i enjoyed my time wif kennie... :)

Okie.. time 2 sleep. It's monday tomorrow and it's back to work all over again.

Goodnight!

Unhealthy

I just woke up. Opened my window and i thought that i was in genting highlands (bedok branch). Checked the PSI and it's 130 - unhealthy. Oh my... I'm supposed to go to teh nokia starlight cinema tonight. how??? Will it be cancelled??? i hope the psi will drop so that it'll not be cancelled...

And if it's not cancelled, i would have to sit near to the screen, else i'll be watching a blur movie.. hahaha....

Happy belated lantern festival. Isit lantern festival or mooncake festival? haha... Went to chinese gardens to celebrate - just by walking around admiring all the different types of lanterns. Went with kenneth. Enjoyed the time with him... And i took photos.. hehe... All thanks to him that i took it, else do you think that i would take it? haha... Well, i guess he has an edge over me ba...

Okie.. time to change soon. Going to vivocity to catch the official opening of golden village vivocity. Hopefully i can get the free movie tix being given to the 1st 200 ppl... hahaha...

Ciaoz!

512k sux

The internet is not meant for users with connection speeds of 1Mbps and below. That includes me - a 512kpbs user.

It's been a tiring weekend. I received an sms on friday evening from my friend asking me if i could take care of an individual patient during the weekend. I agreed as i had no plans and besides, it's not a full day affair - only 6 hours per day.

Woke up at 10am on saturday. Surfed the net and cleared up some work. Left my house at about 11.05 and realised that i'll be late if i took a bus. Took a cab to the venue instead. Kensinton Park Condo. A car was in front of the cab when i alighted and my friend waved me over. Went over to the five star chinese rice place at serangoon gardens for lunch, i didn't eat as i had cereals in the morning. Thereafter, went to toa payoh to collect something and then to balestier plaza for shopping at ntuc. By the time we arrived back home, it was already close to 4. And then my patient slept all the way till 5.50pm. Den i changed his diapers for him and went off. That's easy and he's a very very simple guy. I charged them my standard rate and they seemed quite happy and satisfied with it.

Went to meet Lennel at city hall and we ended up in Hans national library for dinner. Thereafter, to blue heaven to do my audit and also at the same time, to collect the leftovers from the RED subscription promo. After blue heaven, went back to office to put down the stuffs as well as to deposit the cash into the bank - i didn't want to get robbed and risk losing my life. Money's not of a problem to me. Oh heck with it - i shall not go on with this. Went to Happy for sweat after that. I paid $40 for the cK Love t shirts when i could get it for free - i didn't know that we would be giving out instead of Happy's staffs. So in the end, i paid for nothing. Well, at least i got my share worth. *grinz* Well, you know who that tee will go to la... That special someone of mine. Hopefully he'll appreciate it and not be a letdown to me. But o well(s), i've been used to these letdowns and dissapointments. I'm already immune to it but i just hope that this time round, it would work out. I've never had this type of feeling for someone since i left my ex more than 2 years back. Reached home close to 5 and slept only at 6am.

Woke up at 10am and did my usual routine work online and ate cereals. Took a cab to my patient's home again. Nothing eventful. Left at 6.30pm - no, i didn't chare for an additional hour as i willingly stayed behind when i could have left. Well, but all these is no big deal so yup yup... Supposed to go to airport to send boss away, but he didn't want me to go as was afriad that he would cry and he doesn't want to see him cry.. haha...

So now i'm back. Very tired and i'm going to sleep now.

Goodnight!

1988 Outing | Mooncakes

Went back to office on saturday to settle the unfinished work (work never finishes). I then got an sms asking me to join the guys from the 1988 thread in the forums to join them for their outing. I agreed. But i was not dressed correctly. I was wearing a tee (those where you wear for marketing), shorts and slippers. Not giving a thought about it, i just went. Went for dinner at pastamania and followed by a chill out session outside starbucks, the one opp cineleisure.Thereafter, we walked all the way to tanjong pagar, passing SMU, chinatown and all the gay merchants. Arrived at Mox at 2am. Was told that they'll be closing at 2.30. Ordered a shirley's temple and drank - almost gulped it down. And the waitress there was such a bitch (oops, female = butch). Real attitude lorz... Shan't say more.

Left Mox and went to Happy, Taboo and finally rested outside WhyNot. Then, drama occured. Someone slapped someone... but no punches though... Gays are less likely to punch each other. Left at 4am and reached home at about 5am. It's nice being with people younger than me - makes me feel young, not that i'm old oso la.. haha...

Slept only at 7am. Woke up at 2pm. Surfed the net a little and started making mooncakes at 5pm. And finished only close to 9pm. That's how long i take to make 30 mini snowskin mooncakes. Pandan flavored snowskin mooncakes with green tea filling. Have not tried it as yet. Will do so tomorrow.

Sleeptime soon.

Wednesday's the start of the Nokia Starlight Cinema series and i'll be going for the movie premiere of American Dreamz and Kenneth's following me... hehe...

Goodnight! Sweet dreamz people...

Monday

It's Monday! Couldn't sleep well last night. Kept tossing and turning in bed. Maybe cause i slept early and my body's not used to it? And now, i'm freakin' tired. Well, was partially thinking of someone too though... hehe... *oops, that cheeky laugh of mine*

Woke up, went to work. Nothing eventful. Made numerous calls today informing them thay had won tickets to little miss sunshine. It's tomorrow, 7.15pm at Prince and i'll be watching it with Kenneth.

Time to sleep soon. Really tired and boss will be back tomorrow from his overseas trip. Hmmm... do you think he'll buy something for me? /me wonders...

Have a nice night people and you're Blessed!

Goodnight!

It's Sunday!

Sunday. Woke up only at 1pm. Didn't do much. Changed plug for my modem as someone told me to do so... Went online. Uploaded photos to hotbods. Ate cereals. Watched the movie I Not Stupid Too. Rotted the whole day in front of the computer.

At about 5pm, this guy messaged me. Here's part of the transcript:-

[17:38] (**): hey
[17:38] (**): heard tt u r a former commando izzit??
[17:39] (mirantz): me???
[17:39] (mirantz): heard from who de?
[17:39] (**): are you??
[17:40] (mirantz): erm..
[17:40] (mirantz): can say so ba..
[17:40] (mirantz): lol
[17:41] (mirantz): y ar?
[17:42] (**): really
[17:42] (**): just asking loh
[17:43] (**): i loves cdo

and shortly after,

[17:54] (**): to be honest
[17:55] (**): im also in hendon camp as a clerk

and i asked for his name...

[17:58] (**): who r you
[17:58] (mirantz): u r who?
[17:58] (**): mind tell me??
[17:58] (mirantz): edgar... heard of me b4?
[17:58] (**): heard of
[17:58] (mirantz): :P
[17:58] (mirantz): haha
[17:59] (mirantz): wad's yr name?
[17:59] (**): u know **??
[17:59] (**): vefore supply coy
[17:59] (**): was from Sof

At that point of time, my heart nearly skipped a beat. Was it the guy which i knew and which i initially thought was nice? OMG!!! Then, i found out that there were 2 persons with the similar name and that i didn't know him...

[18:06] (**): I REMEMBER YOU LIAO
[18:06] (mirantz): lol
[18:06] (mirantz): i'm glad u did...
[18:06] (**): UR UNDERSTUDY QUEK_C_C SAYS YOU ARE A VERY GOOD NICE MAN!!!
[18:06] (**): RIGHT?!
[18:06] (mirantz): did he?? lol
[18:06] (mirantz): :P
[18:06] (**): yes
[18:07] (**): he always praise you in front of me of you
[18:07] (**): while we go for smoking break

By then, i'm really curious of who he was - how he looked like and such...

[17:59] (mirantz): u have a docket?
[17:59] (**): how i look like
[17:59] (**): i do
[17:59] (mirantz): wad's yr username?
[17:59] (**): u show me urs 1st lah.
[18:00] (mirantz): www.trevvy.com/?mirantz
[18:00] (mirantz): :)
[18:00] (mirantz): yours?

He gave me his URL to his Yahoo photo album. He looked familar. He's someone i knew through the course of my job. I would not say anything more though...

We exchanged numbers...

[18:21] (**): 9******
[18:22] (**): [Name]
[18:22] (**): hey
[18:22] (**): ed
[18:22] (mirantz): 9****** - mirantz
[18:22] (mirantz): or u can call me edgar
[18:22] (mirantz): yup?
[18:22] (**): i call you Edgar lah
[18:22] (**): more "xin xie"
[18:22] (**): more "qin xie"

I was thinking to myself, Hey! I don't even know you well lorz.. We've just met each other once and you've heard so much about me while i've not heard anything about you and here you wanna be qin xie with me...

And after some time later while we were chatting, he just said this...

[19:16] (**): alot of ppl REALLYS MISSES YOU
[19:16] (mirantz): awww
[19:16] (**): QUEK C_C LAH
[19:16] (**): BRENT LAH
[19:16] (mirantz): :P
[19:16] (**): ETC.

That's it about him ba... Well well, i'm so glad that i'm still remembered by people in camp for the good things. I'll have sweet dreams and a good sleep tonight. At least i know that people from camp won't come and haunt me at night or even when they die.. (oops.. choy choy, touch wood - 7th month cannot anyhow say).

Chatted with Kenneth.. Enjoyed it very much. Hendri's in Batam now for a meeting which his company sent him for. Poor him. Putting up in a motel with no aircon and lotsa mozzies. One good thing's that he has free access to the computer terminate and free usage of the internet. I wonder if i would be able to have it in Bangkok. My mailbox will just most prob get flooded and explode. Director and Chief Executive will not be in Singapore for 6 whole days. I hope that sales will not dip. haha... Oh ya, back to where i was (i'm always drifting from one topic to another), Hendri's coming back tomorrow night, so that's one thing good that he can look forward to.

It's 10.14 pm. It's so boring. Had cereals for dinner again just now. Nothing else to eat as i couldn't get in touch with my dad as i wanted him to ta-bao for me. Next time, if i'm old and still single (i hope i would not be next time), and i don't pick up my calls, maybe i'm like starved to death at home (0r office) le. haha...

Nitez.

It's Saturday

It's Saturday! Erm... not now coz it's already past midnight so by right, should be sunday la.

Woke up at noon, went online for a while, approved all the C.A.P ads and vetted through all the dockets pictures. My colleague smsed me 15 mins after i woke up and i didn't even know it as my phone's in silent mode. Not even vibrating as i will put my phone to silent without vibrating on friday and saturday nights when i sleep so that i can have my uninterrupted sleep. At about 12.45pm, the flashing of the phone caught my eye while i was reading the forums. My colleague called saying that he was reaching bugis in 5 mins time and ask where i was. I was like OMG... I rushed through my shower and went to meet him.

Went to office thereafter to clear up some of my work (even though there's not much work to be cleared). From the window of my office, i looked down and the road was packed with police and heavy traffic. A small stretch of North Bridge Road, starting from the junction of Middle Road was closed for the IMF. The view from my office's as shown on the right. That's the library if you can't recognize or if you haven't seen it before. (picture taken using a K800i - bos si's phone)

Went to Lennel's home to play with his dog. Brought along a dvd and watched it in his room. Was just like a cinema with 5.1 surround sound - just that the screen's small. haha... Ta bao-ed dinner thereafter from a nearby coffeeshop. Food was bad. I would rather have Macdonalds and get fatter den to eat that. lol... He lent me the Recycle DVD as well as the I Not Stupid 2 DVD and i can watch it tomorrow (today in fact).

Came home. Did nothing much. Chatted with my di and kenneth. And i just learnt that my friend has been suspended from his job for this whole week pending a police investigation. Wouldn't want to say much on it. Going to sleep soon.

Goodnight peeps and have a happy sunday!

Pink.sg

Nothing much today. I don't have my bunch of keys with me for now. I passed it to my collegue to open the office door this morning and he didn't return it to me. He didn't even realise it until he was home. Gosh. Hope that i can meet up with him tomorrow to get my keys back, else i'll have to reply on my parents in order to get home.

Met up with the owners of Pink.sg. It's a blog quite nicely done up. our voice - an open blog for GLBT's. Go take a look.

Reinstalling my ad server. I forgot the password therefore i'm unable to login to change the ads. Now uploading all the 755 files into my server before i can begin the installation.

I'm tired. Goodnight.

P.S. I think i'm starting to work on my love life again. haha... that's provided someone's responsive.

Belated post.

Nothing much today. Went out with my di, Jerviel. Had dinner at Hans National Library. Went to Coffeebean for tea.

Do you speak english? Do you speak good english? What is Good English? Do you want to speak good english? When do you want to speak good english? Give an example of good english. Give an example of bad english. WHY to all questions. Do you speak singlish? Do you speak good singlish? What is Good singlish? Do you want to speak good singlish? When do you want to speak good singlish? Give an example of good singlish. Give an example of bad singlish. WHY to all questions. This are the questions that were thrown to me in an interview that was studying linguistics in uni.

Okie. And this sux. I accidentally kicked the plug of the router and now my internet connection is lost. Now i can't connect to the net. I can't even connect to my router. No route to host.

Arggh... i dun wanna blog anymore. what's the use when i'll only save this entry to my hard disk and publish only it tomorrow? I'll just type everying in tomorrow's post.

Ciaoz.

Hair do

Woke up. Ate cereals. Went to have my hair cut and dyed. This time round, it's not too bad. Didn't get my brains cooked - just roasted, thanks to the butterfly machine i had to sit under. I can't wash my hair till tomorrow night. Aye.... i dun like that. It'l so difficult to bathe without getting my hair wet. Yes, i wash myhair whenever i bathe, so when i bathe 4 times a day, i wash(and soap) my hair 4 times. Okie - let's move on. No more details about me bathing. Dun think wrongly and this is not a place to get your dicks (if you have) flying high or getting your pussies (again, if you have) wet. Ewww.. i never like the word pussy, let alone pussies (multiple puss-es) and also wet pussy (or wet pussies). It's just simply a turn off for me. And wait. Why am i talking so much about it when i find it gross and it's turning me off? Wait. If i'm not even turned on, how can i be turned off?

Stayed at home the whole day. Ate cerals again for dinner. updated jm website so that i can send out the newsletter tomorrow. cleared emails. Something worng's with the server. I can't seem to send out any emails coz it keeps saying disk space full.. hmmm...

Chatted with friends online. Chatted with my di... Meeting him tomorrow for dinner. Den meeting kenneth, a train enthusiast for dinner on tuesday. It's hard to find train enthusiasts in singapore. Bus enthusiast - lots of them.

Watched Total Eclipse. It's another gay-themed movie. Don't ask me where i got it from. I always have my sources. Thanks to the internet. Haha... Sad ending. Knee tumor. Rare.

Time to sleep soon. Will do so after i finish chatting with my di and kenneth.

Nitez ppl.

Fun Day

Family fun day. Nothing much. Same as per last year just that this year's shorter. Ate 6 cups of ice cream (double scoop). I'll going to put on lotsa weight.

Met up with Alex and Jared at starbucks tampines. Jared gets 20% off coz he's a staff. That's good. Went walking around with Jared as his bf's not here yet. Couldn't accompany him any longer and left him. Went to make appointment to cut my hair tomorrow. 2pm.

Stomach's feeling hungry (or maybe not too good) now. Maybe coz i only ate a little bit today and nothing else.

Nitez.

Proud of my work.

busy day it was today. Had a meeting, followed by a JM shoot followed by setting up for tomorrow's Family Fun Day in my church. I'll be hosting again - aka playing music and blabbering into the mic with no one listening. -_-

Got to sleep. Nitez.

It's September

It's September~~~ 3 more months to Christmas and 4 more months to a new year - Year 2007. Is that fast or still a long time? It really depends on whether you looking at it from a positive or a negative viewpoint. Time really flies...

Went to mox last night and then to AfA's AGM this afternoon and also to COMEX. Bought a new D-Link Wireless ADSL router.

Boss went to Bangkok again for a holiday. Therefore, no one to play with me tomorrow and the day after.

Goodnight peeps. I'm tired. Need my beauty sleep.

P.S. The Queen - is broke. Had to ask his dad to "lend" (give) him some money last night to survive. haha...

Camera Spoilt

Was at the JM shoot today happily taking photosgraphs when the camera gave up on me.

The entire reflex mirror came off. Now i'm without a camera and i have a shoot on thursday. Should you know of anyting who has a digital SLR to lend me for 1 day, on thursday, please contact me.

Help much appreciated.

rotten

Have been rotting the whole day. Nothing much. Yesterday went to Zouk for NUS preview Bash. The guys - ok nia... And i think one of the contestants is an AJ... saw him outside maxwell wif his AJ friend after the competition. That explains the thick makeup during the pagent itself. Went to sweat at happy thereafter.

Nothing much to blog about.

Nitez.

Company Website Revamped

Nth much today. Shaking legs in the office also.

Came home and revamped my company's website - http://www.film5.org/

Now, it's time to sleep as i'm tired from all that revamping.

Tomorrow having NUS Pagent @ 7.30pm at Zouk and BRAVE is the official modelling agency. Then off to Happy for Sweat @ 11.30pm.

Goodnight!

Trevvy under test

Trevvy's launched - but it's still under test. And i'm in office - shaking legs.

No use using it when i dun even know how to use the admin functions nor do i have access to it.

What can i do? I'm being ignored. I'm unwanted.

Sobs.

Trevvy.com is now LIVE

Trevvy.com is now live!

Months of hard work is finally paid off with Trevvy BETA.

And to the team who done it - Cheers!


Visit it at http://www.trevvy.com now.

End of SGBOY Era

There's no more SGBOY. It's the end of SGBOY. SGBOY's gone. SGBOY is no longer THE anything anymore. Trevvy's THE thing.

Trevvy will be launched sometime tomorrow.

It's kinda sad seeing sgboy go... 7 years...

Am very tired. Dunno why...

Nitez...

Everything's fine

I'm not committing suicide. Please... People have been asking me how things are and so on... After a night's rest, i'm fine.

I'm now more concerned about the launch Trevvy in less than 72 hours time than anything else. Read more about it here

And i may be having a new god-brother soon... After my one and only one turned straight - thanks to CHOICES. It's not a replacement mind you.

I should be sleep soon i guess... didn't sleep well last night...

Tata...

Jinxed in Love & Relationships

Lotsa things recently. First - Trevvy. Second - Ian & Tyler. Third - Alex. These 3 things are enough to make me crazy and stressed.

Trevvy's launched is delayed again. Ian and Tyler broke up again. It's hard being a good friend. NOt when you can't bring 2 persons face to face and then asking them to talk about it. O Wells, just another complicated issue.

Tyler's becoming a Brave model. Tyler finds Alex cute. Tyler's got the looks and the height. First Tyler asked me (or us, with alex) out for movie. Then he just asked Alex out, maybe coz i was slow in replying. Fine. I was feeling sad or jealous thereafter.

Why should i get affected??? Oh gosh. I'm not even attached to Alex. I'm not even his Partner. well, business partner - yes. But why can't he just get out of my head? This is seriously not helping. I should just stay away from him and stop meeting him.

What's the point of making myself feel hurt and bad when he's not even my partner?!?!? Grrr... I'm always in the losing end - yeah!

Caring for him - yes, coz i guess i still like him. But what's the use of having a 1 sided love and to get hurt in return? it's no point. useless. just hurting myself even more. I had a little thought about suicide for the first time. Oh My! why did i??? That should never even come to my mind. What will happen to my parents? To Dom? To ASM??? To all my friends??? well, suicide is never the way out. it's only for losers - I'm not. I've saved by GRACE by GOD! Oh my - i'm tearing.... GOD! FATHER! HELP ME! WORTHY IS THE LAMB!

Sigh...

Time to sleep. - Thanks very much Christel.

NItez.

Swimming

Nothing much today. Very tired as i went swimning with Lennel after work at Kallang Basin pool.

Came back and i bought $5 worth of sushi - all my hard work wasted. Sigh...

Time to sleep. Long day tomorrow. Trevvy's launching real soon - so that means more work - have been busy la...

Nitez.