Post CABIN Camp

The CABIN Club's Camp has drawn to an end.

I'm tired. Turning into bed now.

Tell you guys more tomorrow.

Goodnight.

Dental Appointment

I went for my dental checkup over at selarang dental center today.

The dentist said that my teeth was good and he just did some scaling and done all over in the matter of 5 minutes.. My appointment was at 9.30am, I arrived at 9am, number called at 9.10am and was done by 9.15am... I had nothing to do as my off-pass "expires" only at 11am.. so i went to changi village instead... filled my stomach with food.... haha...

Went back to camp... had ration to do. didn't want to do and kenny also asked me to keep all amendments until wednesday.. he's away today so i had to do... but, twas urgent, therefore, i had no choice but to do it.. and oc scolded me for teh bunks... it was untidy... and dirty... well, it wasn't me who did it lorz... always kena arrow.. sigh...

anyway, i'm out of Hendon Camp for the next 3 days... I'll be in another camp. CABIN Club Camp.. hehe.. it's a camp for the secondary school teens... i'll be there as a facilitator... hope there'll be cuties and handsomes there.. hehehe...

will tell you more about the camp when i'm back.. so ya.. no need to check back on my blog for the next 2 days.. check back again on thursday night ba.. haha...

Hallelujah!

Sabbath + New Phone

Woke up only at about 11am... Turned on the pc and watched the City Harvest webcast from 11.30am all the way to about 1.15pm.

Then went to meet my friend, Raymond. He's a reformed Beng. That's just so nice... So happy for him.

Went to church as Joe was there and helped him with the video mixing.

Then went to have dinner with my parents over at the coffeeshop behind my block. Ate lots... haha....

And now i've a new phone.. hehe... Nokia 3120... That'll be used for my sms... hehe...

Den now back at home.. am tired so will be sleeping early, i guess.

Now listening to the Album which i bought. Hillsongs + Delirious¿. The song Majesty...


Here i am, humbled by Your Majesty, covered by Your grace so free.
Here i am, knowing i'm a sinful man, covered by the blood of the Lamb.
Now i've found the greatest love of all is mine, since You laid down Your life, the greatest sacrifice.
Majesty, Majesty.
Your grace has found me just as i am, empty handed but alive in Your hands.
Majesty, Majesty.
Forever i am changed by Your love, in the presence of Your Majesty
Here i stand humbled by the loave You give, forgiven so that i can forgive.
Here i stand, knowing that i'm Your desire, sanctified by glory and fire.
And now i've found the greatest love of all is mine, since You laid down Your life, the greatest sacrifice.

Great Day!

Today had been a wonderful day.

Went to watch PCK Musical in the afternoon and den went to perform in front of a 3000 strong crowd...

The PCK Musicial was a flop. Wrong location. Singapore Indoor Staidum's too big a place and all the children wasn't very cooperative... there was acoustic feedback througout the whole performace, even after the intermission. my my.. that's bad... for the cast, directors, set deisgners, kudos! they did a perfect job. the music was good. so was the acting. the energy level was there... pronouncation, inouncation, articulation was all there. very well done. but, dun bother going to see it... i was sitting at the $85 seat and the stage was so far away... everyone looked like smurfs on stage....

At night, was good fabulous. Performed in a huge hall with the ministers sitting in front of me.. the PM, SM, MM and DPM's was sitting under my nose... whoa.. that's really very very close... how i loved that moment when i could see them laugh and smile.

All of us broke our legs...

And guys, Tim's grandfather's had a puncture in his heart. Please pray for him, even you dunno who it is, can still pray ritez? i'm not sure if he's already received Christ, but we can pray for His salvation just in case.

Cheers all and Goodnight!

"As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

Money In, Money Out

I've just received my NS allowance... S$387 and it's now gone by almost half!

Today was a rather fine day. After camp, i rushed over to suntec... rehearsals for tomorrow's performance...

I'll be performing at tomorrow's CCC 40th Anniversary Dinner organized by the People's Association. Suntec convention halls 601 and 602. that's big... imagine 300 tables and that makes 3000 people in all... Is that the biggest to date that i've performed in??? let me see.. FOC in 2002 was over at Singapore Indoor Stadium and i dunno how big the crowd was... but it was full house... so i guess that was still bigger than this... okie... coming to think of it now, it's boring~~~

But, now it's different. I'm performing alongside with artists.... Patrica Mok(she's pretty off screen and her english was better than i expected), Tony Quek (he still remembers me.. hehe...), Jimmy T (he's so handsome...), Beatrice Chia (not as fabulous as i expected), Koh Cheng Mun (she's the almost the same height as i am, or maybe shorter) and a few others who i dunno the name but common faces... The guest of honor would be Lee Hsien Loong... so very tight secruity checks tomorrow, so wil have to bring IC.. and was enforced to us many times...

and tomorrow i'm going to watch the PCK Musicial... hope it would be nice.... Sponsored Tickets worth $85... and it's good seats.. hehe....

as i was saying... money came in... but it went out as fast as it came in... i bought 2 CD's just now... One is Hillongs & Delirious Live Worship CD and another is The Best Worship Songs Ever... hehe.... Now currently playing the former album... and it's quite nice...

anyway, i'm tired.. blog more tomrrow.. i hope.. tomororw will be a long day again... going to do video editing in church at 8am.. den musicial at 3pm and den off to suntec for the performance at 7pm....

Cheers!

Yawnz~~~

Steps In Overcoming Masturbation

Today has been quite a ok day... nth much to talk about...

I came across this post in one of my forums.. decided to share it with all of you...

Guys, if you decide to give it a try, do tell me if it works.. just pm me, email me or just tell me... i won't tell it to anyone else..

Cheers!


[START OF QUOTED POST]

A friend a mine who had been a Mormon missionary came across this
"guide," circa 1970, on tattered photocopy.  In fact, the pages
were stuck together.

Anyway, we were so amused by it (esp. "Suggestion 19"), I thought
it deserved a wider audience.

STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION

                           Mark E. Petersen
                      Council of the 12 Apostles


        Be assured that you can be cured of your difficulty.  Many have been,
both male and female, and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.

        This determination is the first step.  That is where we begin.  You
must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision,
the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

        But it must be more than a hope or a whish, more than knowing that it
is good for you.  It must be actually a DECISION.  If you truly make up your
mind that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist any
tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you.

        After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
guidelines:



                       A Guide to Self-Control:

    1.  Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during
        normal toilet processes.

    2.  Avoid being alone as much as possible.  Find good company
        and stay in this good company.

    3.  If you are associated with other persons having this same
        problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP.  Never
        associate with other people having the same weakness.  Don't
        suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will.
        You must get away from people of that kind.  Just to be in
        their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind.
        The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where
        it really exists.  Your mind must be on other and more
        wholesome things.

    4.  When you bathe, do not admire yourself in a mirror.  Never
        stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long
        enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE
        BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your
        family present.

    5.  When in bed, if that is where you have your problem for the
        most part, dress yourself for the night so securely that you
        cannot easily touch your vital parts, and so that it would
        be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those
        clothes.  By the time you started to remove protective
        clothing you would have sufficiently controlled your
        thinking that the temptation would leave you.

    6.  If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed,
        GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A
        SNACK, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if
        you are not hungry, and despite your fears of gaining
        weight.  The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET
        YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE.  You are the subject of your
        thoughts, so to speak.

    7.  Never read pornographic material.  Never read about your
        problem.  Keep it out of mind.  Remember -- "First a
        thought, then an act."
                The thought pattern must be changed.  You must not
        allow this problem to remain in your mid.  When you
        accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

    8.  Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times.  Read
        good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- Sermons of the
        Brethern [sic, Cistern too?].  Make a daily habit of reading
        at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the
        four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon.  The
        four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- above
        anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their
        uplifting qualities.

    9.  Pray.  But when you pray, don't pray about this problem, for
        that will tend to keep [it] in your mind more than ever.  Pray
        for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray
        for the Missionaries, the General Authorities, your friends,
        your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT
        MENTIONING IT EVER -- NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS, NOT
        IN YOUR PRAYERS.  KEEP IT _OUT_ of your mind!



        The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect [sic] on how
easy it is to overcome.  It is essential that a firm commitment be made to
control the habit.  As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and
is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the
act, he develops the power to control it.

        We are taught that our bodies are temples of God, and are to be clean
so that the Holy Ghost may dwell within us.  Masturbation is a sinful habit
that robs one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress.  It is not
physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is a habit that is
totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no way expresses the proper use of
the procreative power given to man to fulfill eternal purposes.  It therefore
separates a person from God and defeats the gospel plan.

        This self-gratifying activity will cause one to lose his self-respect
testimony becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become
burdensome, offerins.

        To help in planning an effective program to overcome the problem a
brieation is given of how the reproductive organs in a young man function.

        The testes in your body are continually producing hundreds of millions
of reproductive cells call _spermatozoa_.  These are moved up a tube called the
_vas deferens_ to a place called the _ampulla_ where they are mixed with fluids
from two membranous pouches called _seminal vesicles_ and the _prostate gland_.
 The resultant fluid is calleeminal vesicles are full a signa to the _central
nervous system_ indicating they are ready to benother, depending on such
thingsexercise, state of health, etc. everal times a week, for others
        It is normal for the vesicles to be emptied occasionally at night
durise the emptying come from the cetral nervous system. Often an erotic dream
is experienced at the same time, and is a part of this normal process. nstead
ourse, the reproductive system is operating at a more rapid pace, trying to
keep up with the loss of semen.  When he stops the habit, the body will
continue to produce ahis increased rate, for an indefese are not harmful and
are to be endured until the normal central nervous system pathway of rel
        During this period of control several things can be done to make the pr
       As one meets with his Priesthood Leader, a program for overcoming
masturbation can be implemented using some of t Remember it is essential that a
regur report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures
understood and eliminated.


                             Suggestions:

    1.  Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
        strengthen you against temptation.  Pray fervently and out
        lout when the temptations are the strongest.

    2.  Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise.  The exercises
        reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely
        basic to the solution of this problem.  Double your physical
        activity when you feel stress increasing.

    3.  When the temptation to masturbate is strong, yell _STOP_ to
        those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind and then
        recite a prechosen Scripture or sing an inspirational hymn.
        It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish
        need to indulge.

    4.  Set goals of abstinence, begin with a day, then a week,
        month, year and finally commit to never doing it again.
        Until you commit yourself to _never again_ you will always be
        open to temptation.

    5.  Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved
        through a changed self-image.  Spend time every day
        imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming
        tempting situations.

    6.  Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program.  Relate
        this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your
        relationships with your family, God and others.  Strive to
        enhance your strengths and talents.

    7.  Be outgoing and friendly.  Force yourself to be with others
        and learn to enjoy working and talking to them.  Use
        principles of developing friendships found in books such as
        _How to Win Friends and Influence People_ by Dale Carnegie.

    8.  Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to
        feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged.  These
        emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a
        way of escape.  Plan in advance to counter these low periods
        through various activities, such as reading a book, visiting
        a friend, doing something athletic, etc.

    9.  Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card.  Carry
        it with you, but show it to no one.  If you have a lapse of
        self control, color the day black.  Your goal will be to
        have _no black days_.   The calendar becomes a strong visual
        reminder of self control and should be looked at when you
        are tempted to add another black day.  Keep your calendar up
        until you have at least three clear months.

   10.  A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at
        certain times and under certain conditions.  Try and recall,
        in detail, what your particular times and conditions were.
        Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the
        pattern through counter activities.

   11.  In the field of psychotherapy there is a very effective
        technique called _aversion therapy_.  When we associate
        or think of something very distasteful with something which has
        been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful thought
        and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was
        pleasurable.  If you associate something very distasteful
        with your loss of self-control it will help you to stop the
        act.  For example, if you are tempted to masturbate, think
        of having to bathe in a tub of worms, and eat several of
        them as you do the act.

   12.  During your toileting and shower activities leave the
        bathroom door or shower curtain partly open, to discourage
        being alone in total privacy.  Take cool brief showers.

   13.  Arise immediately in the mornings.  Do not lie in bed awake,
        no matter what time of day it is.  Get up and do something.
        Start each day with an enthusiastic activity.

   14.  Keep your bladder empty.  Refrain from drinking large
        amounts of fluids before retiring.

   15.  Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food.
        Eat as lightly as possible at night.

   16.  Wear pajamas that are difficult to open, yet loose and
        not binding.

   17.  Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that
        might create sexual excitement.

   18.  It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use
        in overcoming this problem.  A Book of Mormon, firmly held in
        hand, even in bed at night has proven helpful in extreme
        cases.

   19.  In very severe cases it may be necessary to tie a hand to
        the bed frame with a tie in order that the habit of
        masturbating in a semi-sleep condition can be broken.  This
        can also be accomplished by wearing several layers of
        clothing which would be difficult to remove while half
        asleep.

   20.  Set up a reward system for your successes.  It does not have
        to be a big reward.  A quarter in a receptacle each time you
        overcome or reach a goal.  Spend it on something which
        delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your
        progress.

   21.  Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude
        patterns which were part of your problem.  _Satan Never Gives
        Up_.  Be calmly and confidently on guard.  Keep a positive
        mental attitude.  You can win this fight!  The joy and
        strength you will feel when you do will give your whole life
        a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.

Tired

I'm tired again... dunno why.. even though i've been slacking in the bunk after like 12 noon... nth much 4 today... nth 2 tok abt. just tat i had bfast 2day wif pL. and den no lunch today and had a big dinner wif my mum.

anyway, the bed's calling me...


Nitez...

F.I.R Tickets up for graps!

Today has been a relaxed day. All thanks to the cancellation of Party 5.

Did nothing much in camp in the morning and in the afternoon, went to shift my OC's safe from the old office to the new office.. Boy, it took us more than an hour and 6 persons and our CSM to shift it... Imagine how heavy and big it is... Well, it's not big, but it's very heavy.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Thank you for your participation in SingNet's F.I.R Contest!

You have won for yourself a pair of tickets to the exclusive F.I.R showcase at IMM on 12 June 2005, 4pm.

But the thing is that i'm not interested in it... So i'm giving the pair of tickets away. If you're interested, please give me a call on my mobile. Before doing that, please ensure that you are able to attend it. I do not want the tickets to go to waste. Others can benefit from it... Get what i mean?

I'm still feeling moody. Not sure why. Maybe it's because i'm just lonely. I need a partner.

Ryan and Joel had a quarrel. That's sad. Why so childish? Hope it'll just blow over.

Ryan's upset and it saddens me to see him upset.

Dear God, Ryan's upset. Please cheer him up. Lord, Bless him and his family as well as those whom he comes in contact with. Lord, i pray that you'll use him as a blessing to others. Lord, i pray for the community. People need the You. My friends need You. I need You. I pray for those whom doesn't know You that one day, they'll get to know Your almighty powers and what You can do their lives. Holy Spirit, enter the lives of men. Enter into the lives of those who has not known you. Touch them Holy Spirit. You have said, those who are weary to come to You. Jesus, lead them to You. Make me a servant. I wanna serve you. Thank you Father for all my friends. Thank you for Ryan, Natty, Joel, Ally and lots more. I also thank you for Poh Liang, Terry and Kenny. I'm sure that You've put them in place where you want them to belong. I ask that Lord you will Empower them and fill them until their cup overflows. Lord, i'm lonely. I need a partner. I pray and ask that You will get me the right partner, the one that You desire to be with me. I do not ask for more Lord. Lead me and i'll follow. I will try my utmost best to trust and obey. Holy Spirit, i pray that you will guide me in the Father's path and that God, You will give me whatever You want me to get. I ask and pray of all these, in the name of my dear Jesus, the one who died to pay for my sins. Amen.

It's time to sleep. Finally an early night.

Goodnight all. Wish me luck.

PMS

I'm having my PMS today. Dunno why... but just feeling stoned.

Woke up late and didn't go to church again. instead, was watching the live webcast of City Harvest's service..

den i left for ryan's house.. and when i arrived, he wasn't at home and he was with joel over at compass point.. made a wasted trip.... so i left for the office.

at the office, was also stoned. did some planning until kiwi came. ryan and joel was late... joel left his bag at ryan's house...

kiwi did dance with all the talent trainees. the talent trainees were good. they picked up almost the whole dance song in just 2 sessions! amazing. joel was better still. he picked up half the dance in a session and was one of the best inside the classroom. that's called having the basics of dance.

had dinner with kiwi, joel, ryan, natt and steph at hougang mall and den went hme...

until now, i'm still not my usual self. my thoughts are very disorganized and i'm very luan.

sleeep time. Nitez guys.

Goodnight Daddy God!

Party 5 Cancelled

Party 5's Cancelled.

Wilson, our ops manager was asked to leave by Joe... Twas kinda tough decision to make as i had lotsa things in my mind and all that.

but at least, one load's gone...

clement's handsome... 2 bad he's straight. he came to my house 1day and i passed him some of my magic tricks... he showed me some of his and i was impressed. wish he was gay.. well, maybe i can get him 2 b a bi.. haha.... well, like wad joel said, who knows? i believe i can if i try... maybe just a oral job for him and he'll turn into a bi?? haha... oops... i'm so bad.. not supposed to have sex unless i have a partner... i must continue to be a non-practising gay...

God, Thank you 4 2day... i love You God!

and i'm tired. going to sleep now...

Nitez all~~~

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there were one set of footprints.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand, is when I carried you.”

--

This poem reminded me of the Lord when he's always been carrying me in times when i've been through everything. Through it all. He has helped me.

I'm single and i'm lonely. Why do i look to humanly figures? Why do i not look to God instead? Isn't the Lord calling me? He is. The Holy Spirit is leading the way. But, sadly, i'm not following. Why is this so?

We all dwell on the earthly riches. Have we forgotten about the riches that the Lord our God has in store for us in Heaven? He's waiting for me in open arms... I'm ashamed to look at Him.

Why do we humans fail in some of the things that we do? I suppose it's because we do not pray nor do we listen to what he says. Life can be very hectic. But do we spend just a few minutes with Him?

I was very heart broken last night. After switching off my pc, i laid down on my bed. I felt so much like crying. i had lost the other half of my heart. The person who took it away isn't going to return my heart back to me anymore. Nor can i have his heart to fill it in my place. God touched me. I prayed to the Holy Spirit. Holy Spirit, Cover me. Lead me, Guide me, Use me, Mould me. I've fallen short from the glory of God. I need God badly in my life. Even if i have his heart or he returns me my heart, it would still be empty... It's not empty, but, to a certain extent, i do not see why it's full. The Holy Spirit is there but i'm not seeing him. I'm not paying attention to it, therefore, i deem it as the empty space.

All of us need God. The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Are you still pulling back? Are we doing things according to our own will? Are we depending on God? Are we consulting God? Are we listening to him? Are we even giving him the precious time to communicate with us? Are we having communion with God?

Jesus, Come into my Life once again. I need You. I want to spend time with You. I want to cherish every moment with You. Lord, i have chucked you aside for a long time. I've not been consulting you. I've been doing things on my own will and not praying and waiting for your answer.

I'm sorry Father Lord. I gladly and proudly call you My Daddy God. My Father God.

I LOVE YOU DADDY GOD! I LOVE YOU ABBA FATHER!

I'm Blessed. And so are you, who is reading this blog now. No matter what your religion is, MY DADDY GOD LOVES YOU!

Blessed!

ArgH~~~~~ HeArt B r e a k . . .

I just found out that the person i like proposed to someone else to date him.... argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and also.. he's dating a number of people at a time and will choose to see which is the best.....
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that his partner can't go irc,no aj contacts so and so forth....
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with me holding so many commitments and appointments, how can i just leave them without getting the people to replace me???

And.. he's also not interested in me...
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sigh....

My heart's shattered.... It's broken...

I wonder if it can be pieced back together again....

It's so ItChY~~~

Everywhere's so itchy... My face, my body, my arms, my hands, my legs, my feet... Luckily my groin's not affected...

And all thanks to a Drug Allergy Reaction. I went to the GP on thrusday and was given 2 days of mc as i was sick. I was prescribed 4 types of medication. Paraceptemol aka panadol was amongst them. my my.. that's such a common drug and i'm allergic to it... well, actually, i just suspected one of them.. but the doctor at the polyclinic said that it's one of them or might even be all of them.. so now i'm not only allergic to 1 type of medciation, but 4 types of medication... sigh...

and the itch's killing me... the rash's too... it's like even now wen i'm typing this blog entry, my hands are a little numb.. due to teh scratching... but i can't help it... it's so itchy.. prickily heat powder aka snake powder helps... for a short while... i suppose tat i would use up the whole container very soon.... and my whole body's pain when i bathe.. especially when there's soap... imagine all the broken skin all over my whole body....

i've no mood to work and i'm just spending my whole time on bed resting. and when i can't sleep, i would just be tossing and turning in bed. i'm unable even to concentrate on the stuffs that i'm doing. telephone conversations are difficult also as i'm always distracted scratching my body and sometimes i would not be listening to what the other party is saying.. and when i'm talking, i always have long breaks... concentrating on my itchiness and scratching and trying to talk at the same time... men are poor multi-taskers... therefore, you can tell that this scratching of mine is not a simple one.. you really have to concentrate and scratch... sigh...

i'm on another 2 days of mc. i hope the itch gets much better tomorrow. but i suppose i wounldn't be going out tomorrow as well as i wouldn't want to leave my house... okie larz.. leaving the house for meals around the estate isn't that bad... but orchard road and to office... nah... i'll just be staying at home tomorrow and sleep again.. and hoepfully i would be able to do my work.. where are all my sponsors for the party?? grrr... we're like about 2 weeks away from the party and we've not even got an official sponsor yet.. i've calculated... if i've no sponsors, i'll just be able to breakeven merely from the sales of the tickets and not make any profit. which means that my deficit will carry on...

anyway, it's dinner time.. i'm going to have dinner with my family now...

Cheers!

Managing People

It's not easy managing people... and co-ordinating people...

you have 6 people to take care of and have to get all of them to come for the trainings. and some can't make it here and some can't make it there... and once after everything is confirmed.. the trainers can't make it and all that.... how???

or should i just scrape away with the performers and just have a small group?

well, it's all giving me a bigger headache now... and the sponsors for the party.. all still taking so long to reply... managing staff is also difficult..

and my mum's another irritant... my dad emailed me this morning saying that he wasn't able to sleep well as he was being fired by my mum teh whoel night... and to think that my mum fires me in the day... i really wonder why there's so much gunpowder??? doesn't it finish??

grrr... i didn't go to teh office yesterday... i'm meetin the breakdancer later at the office, si i'll definately have to go down... and i'm croaking liek a frog..

will blog later if i have the time to...

btw, i just did up my dad's company's website... www.radiantandassociates.com

cheers!

Sick

I'm sick... Went to the GP and managed to get 2 days of MC.. haha...

I'm down with a cold... (and the weather's so hott) Blocked and runny nose.... Sore throat and cough... I guess i've overworked myself... but how can i not? Or, maybe i should just suspend it. Stop it right here and lose the money spent on everything.. the rent for the year of office (actually not as i can convert it to my 2nd home) and just just loss for party 5...

It's a very tough decision that i've to make here....

My mum's nagging and all that.. i can even hear her nagging with my door closed and my music blasting... should i just run away from home and shift over to my office? nopez... an unwise decision. or just stay in camp?? nopez.. unwise decision... think i should just stay put at home and just bear with her nagging... or should i say, shouting...

My modem for broadband for the office has arrive.. finally i need not use dial up in teh office and waste the phone bills...

should i go the office later?? maybe i should, for a little while to indulge the quiet place without the someone shouting... and at least i can surf the net too~~~

and i'm on a budget.. that funnie lady cut off my allowances... :(

will repost tonight if i'm free again...

Falling Sick

It has been busy in Army... Shifting of office... luckily the same floor and not like from 2nd to 1st or to 3rd which is worse.... den this morning raining cats and dogs also...

Ate chicken rice at the swimming pool canteen for the first time and it was rather nice.. haha...

I had to go office to conduct a brefing... went quite well...

but.. i'm falling sick.... blocked nose for the past week and today, sore throat and feeling a little feverish... if it still persists tomorrow, den will have to go see doctor liaoz....

and the office still dun have broadband... actually, line's activated but modem still not delievered.. actually delievered, but failed twice... once wrong location, 2nd mum feel asleep whiel waiting and so now must wait till 2mororw for them to deliever...

and stoopid MDIS called my hse to inform that i didn't attend classes... and i got a screwing from my mum... grrr...

And worse of all, i'm still single... it's not the status that's bothering me... but it's tat my heart is still stolen by tat same guy who refuses to give me his.. haha.... why am i still waiting? i dunno...

i just like him.. i dunno why.. maybe it's coz of his attributes??? sigh...

He sent to me the song by britney, everyday... and listening to that song, how i wish tat i can have tat song specially for him... the worst part is that i dunno how he feels about me.. and also if he's ready for anotehr relationship...

wen will this end? i do not know... will i keep waiting?? i dunno... will the heart die?? i dunno... but if one day after a few months and he wants me, will i want him? yes, i do... and how i wish i can just ask him if i can actually have his heart to fill my emppty space in my heart... and the answer from him is, yes, i do....

are these just dreams? well, maybe i can continue to dream on... or maybe it'll just come true.. i dunno...

i was asked.. what if he justs go stead with me, just to make me happy, den maybe have sex, and break off after 2 weeks... how would i feel.. it all depends... what's the reason for breaking off... isit coz the love died? or these's no love??? or he was cheating on me??? but well, i will just respect, honor, obey, follow and try as much as i can to do what he wants...

i love him... it's kinda of like so far yet so near... arghh... torture emotionally???

signing off...

Goodnight everyone.. And to him too..

HUrts

i'm hurt....

well, it seems that i should just seperate work for my personal life.. sigh...

but can i?

it is difficult.

should i just give up or just suffer in silence?

i think i should just hold on to it.

i'm not sure if i would be able to take it with all these stress and all the piling workload esp. with all the finances burden...

burden of the heart... the company... of army... sigh... i dread it.. what can i do? nothing.

i just feel like quitting everything.

i should not.

well, i'm just confused and hurt. hopefully after a night of rest, rather, 4 hours of rest, i would feel better.

just push on mirantz...

and love hurts always...

but you wun mind if he is the one who hurts you, but you still get hurt....

well, push it to the limit!

Server Down AGAIN

RegisterFly.com - One of the world's best provider of domain registration service.

But, the server crashed again... It crashed the first time yesterday...

Should i just purchase a server?? haha...

Anyway, I was at home the whole day... The person whom i was supposed to meet couldn't make it as he had to watch a movie with his uncle and his brother... sigh...

but neverthelss, i would be meeting him again tomrorw.. hehe... yeah~~ i hope he doesn't dissappoint me again...

Sponsor's letter is one day late.. sigh....

turning in soon...

Love ya... but dunno if you even like me a not... :(

$$$ Money & Mice loving the Big grain of rice

Why do need money? Why is there such a thing known as money? Withour MOney, our lives would be so miserable...

My heart's empty again... Hika from the chat channel #plu was so kind to send me this song when i asked him if he had it.. He didn't and took the trouble to download it for me..

Lau Shu Ai Da Mi... I kept listening to the song.. and I how i wish i could actually sing this song to the person who's my heart is with now, but the thing is that, his heart is not with me...

Wo ai ni, ai che di, jiu siang lau shu ai da mi.... bu guai you duo shao feng yu wo hui yi yang pei che ni... wo xiang ni, xiang che ni, bu guan you duo mo de ku, zi yao nen rang ni kai xi, wo sem mo dou yuan yi, che yang ai ni...

My chinese is poor. and it's very poor so please don't blame me if there are any errors... I took 10 minutes just to listen to that chorus and write it down.. so ya... don't complain... only the guy who had stolen my heart can.. haha...

I love you, Loving you, Just like mice liking a big grain of rice... No matter how much wind and rain i will still accompany you... I think of you, thinking of you, no matter how tough is it, as long as you can be happy, i will be willing for anything, just loving you.... My sentence construction is equally as bad....

well, i'm just hoping that the guy who stole my heart would just chance upon this... and i wonderwhat he'll do... will he give me his heart also so that my other half,, which is currently empty would be filled???

I Love You, Sweetheart...

Post-Chalet

It's been a long time since i've last written. Life's been very hectic and busy for me. I'm on the verge of falling really ill. All these due to lack of sleep, stress and all that...

I just checked-out from the chalet. 3 days and 2 nights over at Costa Sands Pasir Ris.
Wasn't really fun as we didn't had much people over. And it all narrows down to my mum. This cannot and that cannot.. So Fussy~~~ And i've learnt not to bring mums out to any chalet's that you're organzing.. They'll just spoil everything for you, thinking it's for your good... Yar.. Right.... -_-||

Managed to get 19 people to come for the auditions. Sigh... A loss again. Deficit of about 1\3 of the expences.. sigh...

And my heart... has been stolen by someone.. and i'm wondering how i can get my heart back... or would that someone even give me his heart??? I'm longing for it though... but i dunno... it seems that the chances are slim...

I sound so despo.. Is it because i've been single for such a long time? Or do i just need someone to love and care for and getting something in return? Why are guys so hard to find? Why am i Fat? Why? One Sided Love? WHy? Life is a journey where they are ful of Y's. I wonder when i can get my partner's heart... sigh...

Lonely and Despo.............