I believe in Jesus

Title of this post is such as the lyrics of the song I'm listening to now is such.

The day after i started ignoring someone, i received a message that they had parted ways, and would remain only as friends. This left my thinking.

Watched Just Sebastian last night at the Esplanade Recital Studio with Sennie. It was quite ok. Jeremy was supposed to meet us at the door at 10.30pm, but he was late as usual. We proceeded to the new club, Play. It was bad. Music was horrendous as well. If they dun change their music, i guess they need not renovate the place as even after they renovate, no one would go...

Met Nikki and her boyfriend inside Play. Since it was so bad, i proceed to Mox with Sennie and Jeremy and Nikki joined us thereafter. And we headed to Maxwell shortly with Nikki's other-half tagging along. Nikki went home and Sennie and I sent Jeremy to Andrew's house. He fell asleep rather soon. Not sure how true that is as he didn't even answer my calls or smses. Sennie and I walked around the city and i reached home and slept only at 8.30am.

It's my mum's birthday today. I was supposed to have a dinner with my parents at my friend's place as well as a appointment with Shahril, my ITE classmate at 2.30pm. Dinner was from Amici. My friend's son opens an upmarket Italian restaraunt with an outlet at Holland Village and Tanjong Pagar. Since i slept only at 8.30am, i pushed the appointment back to 4pm. And I had to cancel the appointment with him as Jeremy wanted to meet me to cut his hair at Bedok as well as for dinner. He arrived home at 4pm and wanted to nap till 6pm. It was fine with me. I called him at 6pm, 6.10pm, 6.16pm and 7pm. No answered. Alas, i knew that i had wasted my day on him. Now, everything's gone just because of 1 person. I should have left the house and headed down to Bishan at 6pm when my dad smsed me asking if i really didn't want to join them intsead of me waiting for him. That's just how foolish i am all because of someone who's always late.

He smsed me at 8.45pm with Sorry. Can it be undone? It just seems that being late, but about 20mins to 30 mins is just a norm for someone. So what if his clock is 20 mins faster? It's of no use. The mind thinks to itself that it's ok as the clock's fast and therefore, you're back to square 1.

He wanted to meet me again tomorrow. I declined as he still had his research to do. He's already failed one of his tests, getting a 9/20 mark. I wouldn't want to be blamed for him not doing well. And besides, there's no use of me meeting him. Let's say, if we were to meet say for dinner, for 2 hours, the actual time spent would only about for 1.5 hours as 30 mins would be wasted on waiting for him. What's the use? I would rather spend the 30 mins doing someone more productive and useful.

I'm not sure of my plans tomorrow. Today has gone down the drain and i have a feeling that tomorrow will go down the drain as well.

My last meal's at 2am at Maxwell early this morning. It's back to my cereals now. I'm famished.

I pity myself for getting into all this shit. Self pity.

Roller Coaster Ride

Let's recap. Last Saturday, Nikki, Eejin(Nikki's boiyfriend), James, Jeremy and I went to JB for dinner. We had Kang Kong, Kai Lan, Black Pepper Crab, Chilli Crab, Bao, Cereal Prawns, Hot Plate Toufu, Stingray and 1 coconut. It cost each person only SGD$16. Is that cheap? I think so... Before that, we were at City Square's having cakes and it was heavenly. haha... And it's cheap also... We went to Taboo thereafter and Jeremy got hooked up this australian guy. They kissed and kissed. Jeremy seem to like it lots... And for his safety, i had to drag him out and send him home.

Sunday - nothing. Went to Chomp Chomp Hawker Center for dinner with Jeremy and Marcus. Had Satay Bee Hoon, Satay and Sugarcane Juice. If kennie was there, i'm sure he would have enjoyed it. Thereafter, we proceed to Jeremy's house. I found out that Jeremy's dad used to be a nurse as well - as he had nursing books in his room. Marcus and Jeremy began hugging and such on bed. I was feeling very uncomfortable then and so I just used Jeremy's Mac to surf Trevvy and clear my emails. I nearly missed the last bus home. Thanks to the new bus service, 45.

Today, I met both of them for dinner again. It really hurts me very very much to see a couple, even though unofficial, to be so sweet, close and intimate with each other. It's not jealousy but envy. My heart ached. All the thought about Singlehood and Loneliness flooded my mind.

I've decided to keep a distance and stay away from Jeremy for the time being till I've settled down - say about a month or so. I'm not sure how long i'll take. Jeremy cried when i told him over the phone last nite about it. Am i just being selfish? I think i'm not. He's just losing me, a friend, temporarily. He still has someone's love. What about myself? I'm parting from him and I've no one to love me. Well, what about Kennie??? I simply do not know. I feel so much that it's like a single-sided love. Does he love me? Does he even like me? I do not know. Shittt... I'm crying and my tears are just rolling down non-stop and i'm really sobbing... Imagine loving someone with all your heart, soul and mind that that someone is just not being responsive. It really hurts. My heart aches...

I've been playing christian music in office the whole day and i started reading my bible this evening. I just need someone. Does Jesus help? Yes, i know He will and there's no doubt about that. But still, i need someone physical. It just really hurts and pains my heart...

Oh Lord You've searched me,
You know my way.
Even when I fail You,
I know You love me.
Your holy presence surrounding me,
In every season I know You love me.
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee,
Where Your blood was shed for me,
There's no greater love than this.
You have overcome the grave,
Your glory fills the highest place,
What can separate me now.

You go before me,
You shed my way,
Your hand upholds me,
I know You love me.

You tore the veil, You made a way,
When You said that it is done.
And when the earth fades, falls from my eyes,
And you stand before me I know You love me,
I know You love me.

I love you, Kenneth.

Third week of January 2007

How time flies. It's already the third week of January 2007. Nothing much productive has been done this week. Went for a Brave photoshoot on Tuesday and managed to take the Sentosa Express - on its second day of operations. It's quite ok and nice la...

Went to Lennel's house on Wednesday night to watch the movie 15 by Roystan Tan and also Jack Ass 2. Jack Ass 2 wasn't really funny - it was lame, therefore making people amused.

Had my church's Choir cum AV annual dinner & gathering at Roxy Mercure Hotel on Thursday. $25 per head and the spread was well, quite acceptable - what you would expect in an average buffet.

Went to The Pump Room @ Clary Quay just now as they were having a fund raising event for AfA. The turnout was quite good. I was bored throughout. Luckily Marcus was there with Jeremy to accompany me.

Kenneth has been very busy and tired lately due to his many projects and assignments. He was involved as an usher also yesterday and today for NP's open house. Poor him... I hope he really gets the rest that he should get and that he wun fall ill.

I'll be out to NP's open house tomorrow to see the Nursing Department as well as the Film and Media Studies. Den i'll be heading off to JB for dinner with Nikki, her boyfriend, James and Jeremy. Thereafter, it'll be off to Taboo for some clubbing. I don't dance, so i'll just go there to chill out.

It's a pity that Kenneth can't join me due to his studies and that he's not allowed overseas with his friends. I'm sure he would enjoy it. But nevertheless, i hope to spend more time with him during his semester break in mid-February before he goes to the next challenge - Year 2.

Goodnight peeps!

New Specs

Went to Free Community Church today with Jeremy and Nicholas. Thereafter, went to Maxwell for lunch and to Marina Square and Suntec City for a walk with Jeremy. I bought myself a CD from Hillsongs Live - Might to Save. Parted ways at about 4pm and i went to Katong Shopping Center to collect my new pair of specs. It's orange in color. It's off to Bedok Library to borrow some books on posing and photography.

Home for a nap and then now up. Will be sleeping again soon.

I miss kennie... sobs...

M.A.C VIVA Glam Lip Stick

Kennie has been rather busy these days as his semester's ending and has lotsa projects to complete. Poor him... Went out with him on Thursday night to watch Forbidden Chestnuts. It's a nice play.

Went to Tangs today to sell the M.A.C VIVA Glam Lip Sticks. All proceeds from the sale goes to the M.A.C AIDS Fund and in Singapore, it goes to Action for AIDS (Singapore). Sun Yan Zi, Neo Swee Lin, Lim Kay Siew, Tan Kheng Hua, Chua En Lai, Nick Shen, Pam Oei, DJ George and the entire Power98 crew was there as well as Hossan Leong. He talked on air the longest and frightened away a small girl. Poor her. She must have been traumatised by Hossan... Wonder if he'll leave any bad impressions on him when she grows up. haha...

Found out that my friend is a licensed hypnotherapist. I wonder if i should go for it to control my weight and loose weight. It'll definately work.

Will be watching Just Sebastian on 26th of Jan and Hossan's stand up on the 31st of January. Might be going to KL either on 1st February night by night train on 2nd Feb morning by bus and return on the 4th.

I'm a good boy. Am going to Free Community Church tomorrow morning.

Goodnight peeps.

Sick

The Queen's sick. Down with a slightly blocked nose and fever with a lil' sore throat - due to talking too much.

Went to St John's HQ for a meeting at 11am. to Heeren for prize giving ceremony for AfA - was the photographer. Went to watch Death Note 2. Went Carrefour and home. Now still sick.

Goodnight.

2007's first entry & Back from Bangkok!

Hi all,

It's my first post for year 2007 and I'm back from Bangkok, safe and sound, alive and kickin', in 1 piece, despite the 8 bomb blasts that went off on new year's eve.

Quite a lot of things to blog about - the bomb blasts, my trip in bkk, and the submarine cables...

Will do so when i'm free. Kinda busy now as work's piling up...

Have a great 2007 everyone!

::: Blessed Christmas :::

It's the 25th of December. It's the time of the year that's anticipated by everyone as it's the last public holiday for everyone and it'll be a new year soon. Merry Christmas everyone!

Went to church early this morning and went to help my church members with the stage lighting. In the end, i ended up doing last minute lighting design as no one had any idea about it. sheesh...

Thereafter, came home to take a rest, shower and left to meet my friends from the 88 thread at bugis. Some were late and we waited for half an hour. We proceeded to NAFA campus 3 for Free Community Church's Christmas Service. Was late by about 10 mins and coz of that, we got the front row - i really mean the 1st row.

Buffet dinner was provided by Purple Sage Creative Catering. Boy, the food was good and not to say the deco. Went to celebrate Marcus, Alvin and Daniel's birthday thereafter. Had a white christmas log cake from the passtiser. Boy, it WAS good as well.

All the time, even though i might seem rather active and cheerful, deep inside, i was missing kennie very very much. How i wish he could be with me and enjoy all these together. I'm pretty sure that he'll enjoy all these too...

Argh~~~ I'm drowning in my own sadness - rather, this feeling of loss, of missing kennie. I miss him very very very much and i can't wait for him to be back tomorrow. I checked the flight schedule and i think he'll touch down at 6pm at terminal 2. But sigh, i'm unable to pick him up from the airport. Even if i can, what will his parents and sisters think? Sigh.....

I really miss him. I do.

Annual Christmas Dinner & Pictures

Dinner at my cousin/aunt's place has became an annual event. During Christmas eve, my family and I will be over at their place to have dinner. Last year, it was Turkey and this year, it's ham. And yours truly was the one who cut the ham as well and cooked. As always for dinner and functions.

How i wish that kennie's around so that i could have dinner with him as well as cook for him to eat. How i wish i could celebrate christmas with him. Sigh, i'm unable to celebrate the new year's arrival with him as well. It's so sad. I miss him... :(

Some pictures now...

Countdown

The end of December is nearing. It's 21st of December today. 4 more days to Christmas, 5 more days before Kennie returns from his Korea trip and 10 more days before the last day of the year and 11 more days to year 2007.

I'm now in church blogging. My church's choir is having a rehearsal for christmas and i was asked to come to sit around and i'm actually not much needed. In fact, not needed at all - just wasting my time and rotting here. Nothing much to surf and no one's online on MSN to chat with me. I miss Kennnie. How i wish i could be there with him. I guess he's not missing me at all and happily enjoying himself in Korea with all the cute and/or hunky guys there.

Went to watch Jack and the Bean-sprout. I'm sure Kennie would enjoy it very much if he was there to watch it. It's a good phantomine with Ivan Heng dragging. How i wish i can come up with a short musical next time with all AJ casts and reversal of roles. Males as females and females as males. I'm sure that would be a hit. And of course, it'll be slammed by the mainstream media and the straights, especially in Singapore.

Well, i bought a christmas present for Kennie. I'm sure that he'll definately like it. I certainly miss him. It's so sad. he's returning only on the 26th and i do not even know what time he'll be back and i'm flying off to bangkok on the 28th noon. I don't even know if i can meet up with him. I wish i can, else i'll suffer from KWS. Kennie Withdrawal Syndrome. haha...

Take care everyone. Have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed Gay New Year!

Photo shoots

It's been tiring weeks. Had 3 photoshoots in all this week. 2 for showcase and 1 for portfolio.

Went to Sentosa for portfolio, east coast park and bukit timah for showcase.

I'm damn freaking tired.

I'll just go and sleep soon...

Going to watch Magic of Love tomorrow night with kenneth, lennel and his friend...

I love kenneth.

Busy week again

It's December! It's less than a month's time that I'll be going to Bangkok. Whee~~~ And kennie will be going to Korea in about 3 weeks time or so.. I think that I'll be missing him very much when he's away. sobs...

It's been another busy week. 5th Singapore AIDS Conference, Trevvy Launch Parties - Part 2 of 2 and Team Trevvy /New Balance Standard Chartered Marathon 2006.

The conference at 8am, party at 11pm and marathon at 6pm. GH and Dom was kind enough to get a room for me at Hotel 81 for those going to stanchart marathon to bunk in.

Managed to close my eye for at least 1 hour plus ba... Den during the marathon, back to hotel to sleep, den after that, me and kennie went to eat the hock lam street beef kuey teow. He said that it's nice.. hehe... Slept from 3pm on sunday and woke up only at 10am on monday when i heard my phone vibrated. Kennie smsed me...

I love Kennie...

Goodnight people...

Busy Week

It's been a busy week. I left office at 11.45pm on thursday night and 1.30am on friday night (or should i say saturday morning) . All for preparing for the Trevvy Launch Parties - Strawberries & Cream. It's tomorrow (tonight actually as it's already sunday) at the show will start at 11.30pm.

Was at office again today since 2.30pm and was there all the way till 11.15pm and then headed over to Happy for the monthly Sweat parties. It's the last Sweat party for the year.

Now waiting for kennie to finish up whatever he's doing (homework - pity him) and then it's time for me to call him and chat.

Goodnight people~

Sony Ericsson Z610

Woke up at 9am this morning and went to church. Had to supervise the AV for a church wedding in my church. Started only at 11.30am. Wasted my time. If i had known, i would have woke up only at 10.30am - 1.5 hours more of sleep for me and that's very precious to me.

After church went to meet Kenneth. wanted to take 67 from tampines to his place to pick him up. instead, decided to take 168 to woodlands and then 963 to his place as it might take a little shorter time. 168 passed by the new Ikea at Tampines North Avenue 2. It's big, might be even bigger than the present store at Alexandra road. After arriving at woodlands, i decided to go to causeway point to check out the hello store as i've been wanting to get my phoneline but unable to as i can't get my phone. i went to double confirm to see if the phone's really gone. Yes, it's selling like hotcakes.

At the event space, MediaCorp was having the Star Awards 2006 roadshow. Desmond Koh and Lin Peifen were the hosts. Managed to take a few photos, but were quite bad, all thanks to my 1.3megapixel Nokia 6230i. And guess who i saw - a real good looking guy. He looked very familar but i just can't remember his name until i showed Kenneth his pic wen i met him. It was Julian Hee!

Took 963 and met Kenneth. We then went to have dinner at the foodcourt at Cineleisure. Thereafter, it was off to the Teleshop at Taka to get my phone. I had earlier reservered at via 1626 as it was already the last set left. Ta-da~~~ My blue color Sony Ericsson Z610i. I had earlier wanted a pink color, but it was all sold out since 2 weeks ago. Kennie was the one who choose the phone for me and he kinda liked the color as well, so i can say that i bought the phone and all tat coz of his recommendation.

We took photos at Wisma Atria. They have a nice Christmas deco over at the atrium.

Time to leave, and we left. Nothing much. I'm happy. He's mapleing now and i'm waiting for him, den time 2 sleep! Going with him to Duolus tomorrow as i can't find anyone to go with me. He's so nice to want to accompany me.. hehe... Lucky me!

Busi

These few days has been rather busy for me in the office. Lotsa things to see to. 1 new staff coming in, 1 staff leaving and another taking urgent leave. That takes away all the extra time to shake legs in the office away. Ooops... :x

I miss him, even though we have been chatting over the phone almost every night. It's been some time since we last met. I just miss his physical presence. But well, he's always in my heart. You know, the feeling of loving someone yet not being able to call him your other half, is horrid. Is it just another test of patience? And the worse thing is that, i'm already treating him like my other half, in fact, he's my unofficial other half. I think of him when i'm at work, i think of him wen i'm having lunch, i think of him wen i'm busy even, hoping that he's fine and sometimes just wondering how he is and what he's doing. I hope that i wun be hurt by him though. sigh...

Sometimes, i have the thought that he's just using me as a temporary replacement as he's on a rebound from a bad relationship. And whenever i think of that, i'll feel very very very upset and bad. sighs... who knows if it's even true...

Now waiting for him to finish his conversation with his friend, and i'll wait for him to decide if he still wants to chat or not.. i dun wanna tire his mouth out. haha...

Going swimming tomorrow with lennel. Asked kenneth along but he's lazy. Well, i dun wanna force him so yea, just let him be.. anyway, i'll already be meeting him this saturday. Can't wait to see him again. I just love him. sigh.......

Halfway through blogging, i went to pee. While peeing, i was thinking to myself, why am i getting this feeling? The feeling of loss. I guess i'm getting possessive. i can be wen i feel "endangered". Do i feel like i'm loosing him? Comeon, it's only a long phonecall that he's on wif his friend. How can he every tolerate me if i always act, behave and feel this way wen ever he's on the phone for a long long time??? Well, i guess i just feel threatened. Sigh...

Why is it that i'm not "single"? Why did i get "attached"? I seriously do not know the reason even. Why do i like him of all others? I can't even explain it. He's just an average boy-next-door. Well, i guess it's coz of his heart, attitude and personality. He's just different.

Why can't everyone just be single without any problems? Why do i long for him? I long for the day whereby i can just hold his hand and walk down the aisles in church with wedding bells ringing. Well, i guess, at this stage and point in time, just being able to hold his hand will do.

My mood now: mixed and a lil sad. Asked him if he wanted to chat still and he said yes. I would never want to disappoint him, but, i'm just feeling very bad. The longer i'm waiting in vain, the worse i feel. I just feel like crying, well, in fact, a tear just rolled down my cheek. Is he really worth the wait? I would say yes still though... sigh... Why did he trap my heart? No one knows.

Goodnight people...

Blogger Beta, 萃威 and Wink TV

Some of you may know that Blogger now is part of Google and there you have, Blogger Beta. I've converted and migrated my account. Have you?

Just as we have Trevvy Beta. And the site's no longer under test. We also have a chinese name - 萃威 (cui4 wei1).

Wink TV, Asia's first broadband and video channel is now live after nearly 2 months of development. However, only users in a few Asia region are able to view it due to the rights.

Yesterday was my cousin brother's wedding. Blessing in the morning at Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church (TA2) over at a place near HarbourFront. Followed by a tea ceremony at my uncle's house in Potong Pasir. Went back home to change and makeup then went for their wedding dinner at Raffles Hotel. It was a real experience.

During the blessing session in church, the reverend and and my cousin said: "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." And at night, my cousin said again during his thank you speech, "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." Hey! What's the matter with it? Is that targeting at me??? So what if i'm gay? I'm not sure if he's homophobic though... For one that i know - ALL guys are NEVER straight. Just get them aroused, and they wun even mind you to jerk or suck them off. That's it!

I've been slacking, stoning and bumming at home for the whole day, doing nothing productive. It's always like that on Sundays. I've made up my mind to buy the water cistern tomorrow afternoon at the hardware shop in Rochor and bring it home to fix it at night. It has been months since it gave way and dropped onto my back while i was shitting and poor me got all wet. Such a good time to drop - imagine yourself shitting and halfway, something drops on you, and gets you wet - and you have NOTHING to flush away your shitt thereafter.

Hope it's not making you puke. Waiting for my beloved Kennie (well, he's not mine la, but how i wish and hope he is) and then, chat with him later. You know, i actually had this dream one night, that he told me that he thinks that we're too close and that we should distance ourselves and be just friends. period. After waking up, i felt so relieved that it was just a dream. I dunno how i would react if it was true.. I think i would go into depression or into a suicide mode... haha... I really love him.. I'm treating him as my other half, even though we're not.

Goodnight people!

Seven Month Itch

I went to watch Seven Month Itch again today, but this time round, with Derrick. He's a straight. My ex's brother. He enjoyed it and me too. It was a little better this time round coz of the audience. When i watched it last Friday, it was just a few of us from Trevvy, AfA, HPB and Fridae.

I've to attend my first "trilogy" of weddings tomorrow, starting with my dad's friend's daughter. I don't even know my dad's friend. Please - call me and entertain me, or at least sms me from 7.30pm onwards to keep me occupied okie??? I would really really appreciate that.

And here's the article from Trevvy, written by my editor regarding the Seven Month Itch.

The awareness is there, but unsafe sex practices between MSM remain a concern. A new play by AfA and TNS attempts to address the issues, but Trevvy’s Kerbing Lee asks, “How?”

The Necessary Stage (TNS) has been commissioned by Action for Aids (AfA), the local AIDS prevention and awareness initiative, to create a play. The Seven-Month Itch is the product. The taglines?

“He has betrayed the trust of his partner. Worst of all, he may be infected”
“Will he be brave enough to take an HIV-test?”
“Will he confess his infidelity to his partner?”

Sounds like one should expect something of the melodrama typical of an after-school sex-ed special. But as even the playwright, Haresh Sharma of TNS, admits, there is a high penetration of awareness of safe sex practices with regards to MSM (men who have sex with men). However, when it comes to the actual practice of safe sex, the figures don’t lie. A whole lot of people just aren’t doing it. So, how does AfA expect to get the message across? Here’s a condom, wear it. Protect oneself. Protect one’s partner. We’ve heard it endlessly. Now what?

Sharma believes that there is some amount of complacency going on. In the incipient days of the AIDS epidemic, there was at least the fear that had people either abstaining from casual sex, or at least practicing safe sex. As advocates for those who had become infected and faced stigmatisation, there was the campaign to educate about transmission, and ways of living with the infection. Health initiatives made HIV less of a bogeyman, exposing how the virus worked and how it could be managed. One’s neighbour could be positive; a relative, likewise. One could be dating an infected individual. But don’t be afraid – no need to discriminate. The sharing of utensils, saliva, or air alone isn’t going to get one infected. Use a condom.

At the same time, get regular tests. If one does get infected, it’s better to find out as early as possible. Even if one is infected, no need to contemplate suicide. With counselling and treatment, one can almost surely resume one’s meaningful existence. Have a boyfriend, pop a few pills, and live out a fulfilling career. Or at least that’s what popular gay entertainment tells us.

So now, we no longer live with the fear. Then, how does one get people to listen? Individuals are weighing the prospect of living with a terminal condition and the inconvenience, and the decrease in pleasure, in the heat of the moment and deciding that the risk of infection is something they can live with. People are still getting infected left and right. It may not be HIV, but there are a slew of other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to be had – syphilis, for one. “So what? That’s curable,” is what one might hear. Now, what is to be done?

It’s tricky to negotiate the landscape, what with the landmines. Yes, an infected individual isn’t someone to discriminate against. Yes, one can manage HIV infection to an extent. At the same time, one must be afraid enough to want to stay safe – whether or not in the interest of oneself, or of one’s partner.

So, if people have become complacent, and are tired of the messages, why come to this play? Sharma believes that people will come if only to enjoy a performance. It doesn’t hurt to feature two attractive actors – Timothy Nga and Danny Yeo – either. As Sharma puts it, MSM refers not just to gay men, “We’re talking about married men, gay men, foreign works.” But he believes that if one can reach at least one part of the equation, maybe next time, this person will think, “Hey, maybe I should do this instead.” From his experience with working on plays that drive social messages – he was previously commissioned by the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) to write a play concerning suicide prevention – Sharma says that it’s important to target pockets of people at a time in outreach, and to promote discussion.

Sharma has created The Seven-Month Itch as an interactive piece. The audience, he says, will feel engaged and become invested in the discussion because they will be allowed to take on the role of the protagonist in various situations and to suggest how this character should act given his options. An audience participant might provide textbook answers, but the actors have been coached to throw in a few curve balls to make it as difficult as possible for them to take the responsible stance. This at least begins to re-create the likely factors that may impair an individual’s judgement when it comes to issues of safe sex and fidelity – alcohol, impetuosity, a gorgeous guy.

The Seven-Month Itch is an attempt by AfA to address some of the issues that can lead to the practice of unsafe sex and the possible transmission of HIV and other STIs in as innovative a way as possible. However, the concern still remains of how effective the execution is going to be. I asked Sharma for his thoughts on the matter. He said that this was his first time working with AfA for a play such as this.

Previously, he had worked with Paddy Chew, the first Singaporean to publicly announce that he was HIV positive. The play, Completely With/Out Character, a one-man show about Chew and performed by Chew in 1999 was Sharma’s first theatrical endeavour dealing with HIV and AIDS. Sharma said that with strain of the production, after every performance, Chew would collapse backstage. But he should show up again the next day without fail. Chew died shortly after the end of the run. Sharma admits that sometimes the situation with AIDS awareness and prevention – especially in Singapore – does get to him. But he feels compelled to do what he can when he thinks back to his work with Chew.

Organizations such as AfA can only do so much. They have clearly done excellent work in the areas of education and awareness. When it comes to the more recent issues with complacently and “condom fatigue”, as one member of the Health Promotion Board as put it, new strategies may be necessary to understand what people are thinking and feeling when they are aware of the risks involved, but persist with unsafe practices such as bare-backing (engaging in anal sex without the use of a condom). Or when people ask what the point of regular STI screenings is. Some feel that by the time they are infected, it is already too late and they wonder why they should bother to find out. Nevertheless, it is still important for organizations such as AfA to continue their work. One only hopes that they are able to evolve their structures and solutions in order to address the new situation before it becomes inevitable that a wave of fear concerning STIs is necessitated again.

Author's bio: Having worked previously as sub-editor (albeit, effectively editor) at a small and limited circulation publication, Kerbing Lee feels that it is time for him to propagate his wise and omniscient views on a larger stage. When not penning down his ever-incoherent thoughts, Lee can be found running like a big, sweaty ostrich around the vicinity of Holland Village, or capsizing kayaks along the far-from-crystal-clear waters of East Coast Park.

Get your tickets $23 now from Gatecrash or you may get it at the door as well. Concessions at $19.

Till then, Goodnite peeps!

It's Novemeber!

Its been 31 days and it's already November 2006. We've another 25 days to go before December 2006 and before you know it, it'll be a new year.

Nothing much has happened these days. Life still goes on. Kennie busy with his studies as usual. I'm just glad that he makes time for me even though he gets pretty tired after all his lessons.

I popped the question again on Friday night. I was disappointed yet again - he's not looking for another relationship.

It's a boring day. And oh well, just live life as it is. I'm just contented that he's my close friend. But of course, i would want more but how can i ever force such thing?

I'll not be able to spend his upcoming December holidays with him. He begins his holidays on the 18th and he'll be leaving for Korea. And when he returns, i'll be leaving for Thailand. Oh well, what can be done now? Cancel my trip and upset my parents and waste money? Well, i'll just have to wait till his holiday perhaps - just to spend time with him.

Signing off.

Sunday again

It's Sunday. Nothing much happened though. Let's start for yesterday.

Was Saturday yesterday. Duh. I slept rather late on Friday night as i was chatting with Kennie on the phone. I was woken by the ringing of my phone at about 6am. It was a work related call and the request was just to ask me to change a picture on the website. Couldn't it be done through sms? I went back to sleep and i woke up again at 10am as i had to go back to office - yes you heard it right. Team Trevvy Standard Chartered Marathon 2006 sponsored by New Balance. Briefing was today so yea. had to go down to open up the office. I feel so much like a office warden - o well, yes i am one. Warden of office and Kennie.. haha... Cleared up some work and rotted in office all the way till about 6 plus. Went to Kennie house thereafter and then went out for dinner at Lot 1. He had beef noodles while i had yong tau foo. It was the prep for my atkins. We went to the playground in CCK. It's nice and a good place for doing photoshoots. I would do photoshoots there in future for Brave. I enjoyed the time spent together with him there. Well, doesn't mean that i don't for the rest, but i enjoyed those moments, having fun playing on the rides (and we're way overaged) and chatting. He left for home and I left for Sweat at Happy. Nothing much and i didn't had the mood. Maybe coz i was tired. Kennie was surfing and didn't was asleep when i reached home so we chatted on the phone before we slept. How sweet it is... I really treasure all these moments we spend together and all that... It makes my heart melt and all the tiredness and sadness just fades away whenever he's around or i hear his voice, well, even if it's just online chatting, i enjoy it.

Slept and woke up only at 4.30pm today. I'm such a pig. I'm not denying it. Looked at my phone and i had 23 missed calls. 18 from the same person. No prize for guessing who it was. It was the same person and same thing again. To change the picture in the website. I had changed it but i changed the wrong one. Well, it's not my fault as he didn't mention it clearly and he sounded like the one one i changed. Well, it's over so yea... double work lorz... Went back to office again for the briefing and came back home.

Had yong tau foo for dinner. It's Day 1 of my diet. My weight is now 56kg and i hope that i can loose some weight ba... I shall try to go on this diet for at least 1 month and if possible, 2 months and i should be happy. And well, i've actually no goal for me weight. so yea... haha... at least i wun be feeling sad if i dun achieve my goal right?? haha...

My very first ex stays in geylang (east). My 2nd ex, which is also my very last one, stays in redhill (central-west). Now, Kennie is staying in the north west. It seems that it's going further and further. people say that distance matters at times. But to me, i do not know why, but i just do not mind traveling all the way to his house just to meet him for dinner, or even to ta bao dinner for him... Why is that so? Perhaps, it's love - that's what they call it ba. It's totally different always. I'm just touched sometimes by the little things he does and says. I simply just love him. I really mean love and not like. The feeling's just different.

Time to sleep and chat with him soon. Signing off!

Missing

Went out for almost half a day with Kenneth. He came over to Bedok and we had lunch at the interchange hawker center. Den we proceeded to parkway parade for a walk followed by east coast park and back to marine parade for dinner. Nothing much actually happened. I just enjoyed the time spent with him very much. How i wish i could spend everyday and ever moment with him, just lazing around.

We left each other about 1 hour ago. Now i'm having a sense of loss. I miss him dearly.

Think I should just go to bed now and stop thinking so much.

Goodnight people.