I can't stop falling in love with Him yet...

Yup, i'm still listening to that song over and over and over again... Better than Life by Marty Sampson.

And also i'm listening to the minus one (just the music without vocals) of the song that i composed when i was in Sec 1 (year 1998, whoa... 7 years ago.. time flies...) entitled Light of the World.

Went to film for "Beautiful Me High-Tea" organized by the Abagail Ladies Group. SAFRA Tampines Banyan room. It was raining cats and dogs when i left my house and i had to take bus 225 just to get to the interchange... that was how heavy the rain was... It wasn't very organized... my my.. even after editing. i guess the final video wouldn't be good either...

It's my church's 29th anniversary tomorrow. How time really flies... (*again*) And out of this 29 years, i've been with the church for about 15 years. I started attending BPMC at the age of 5, (or maybe younger...) when it was still in a terrace house located at Sennete Road. I still remember that they had wooden planks supporting the pillars as they were about to give way soon... Being in Pasir Ris for 9 years...

I'll need to be in church by 7.45am tomorrow morning as i've to get the audio system up and running so that all the performers would be able to start rehearsing. Service begins at 10am.

I'm not sure if i want to go back to camp tomorrow after church to count the quantity of laundry i have in my cupboard... The stocktakers will be here on monday to start their 2 weeks of annual stocktake for the whole of hendon camp... sigh... and my OC wants a 100% accuracy...

I'm so looking forward to the coming weekend, starting 5 August...

::: Event Forecast :::

5 August - Festival of Praise @ Singapore Indoor Stadium, 7.30pm (Hillsongs & Delirious¿ will be performing) followed by Slacking @ Club 95. Anyone wants to come along? i've 20% off all items at Club 95.. hehe...

6 August - Dim Sum Dollies @ Esplanade Theatre, 3pm with pL... I'm giving this as a treat to him as it's his birthday on

7 August - pL's Birthday...

8 August - National Day Eve. Will there be 1/2 Day off???

9 August - Happy Birthday Singapore!!! - Holiday... yeah! no camp!!!!


Time for Bed so that i can wake up fresh and early tomorrow morning to Praise and Worship and Glorify and Exalt the Lord our God!

Blessed!

========================================

I can't stop falling in love with YOU!

Better than the riches of this world
Better than the sound of my friends voices
Better than the biggest dreams in my heart
and that's just the start
Better than getting what I say I need
Better than living the life that I wan't to
Better than the love anyone could give
Your love is

You hold me now in Your arms You never let me go

And You oh Lord made the sunshine
The moonlight and the nightsky
You give me breath and all Your love
I give my heart to You
Because I can't stop falling in love with You
I'll never stop falling in love with You

===============

It's another day of work. How time flies - it's already drawing to the end of the month - July 27th. It'll be August very soon. A number of occasions in August... 1) pL's Birthday - 7 Aug, 2) 40 Days of Purpose - 7 Aug, 3) National Day - 9 Aug.. And then a dreaded 2 months of no holidays... when pL mentioned that today, i was feeling argh.. no holidays......

Can i have my own holidays? Jen's so good... ORDing liaoz... poor pL and me still struggling to survive in camp... well, at least pL has 1 month less of suffering than me... and he has only 8 working days in december.. argh!!!!

I'm turning in early today.... Tired...

Goodnight.

p.s - I just fan't stop falling in love with You, Jesus!

Anyone wants to come with me to Festival of Praise next friday, 5 Aug, 7.30pm @ Indoor Stadium? Hillsongs and Delirious¿ will be here.... Hoping for people to come with me.. if not, i'll be all alone... :(

'bout Gays...

Gays are even better than prostitutes

Everything about gays revolves around looking good, being attractive, dressing well. But this is so that they can shamelessly parade themselves in public to seduce their potential free-sex customers.

Even the moral-conscious public knows that gays go to gyms(they can train up to be better-looking prostitutes), go to gay shops(get their flashy revealing prostitute clothes), go to gay hairdressers(look like gay prostitutes), go to gay spas(find their customers), go to gay clubs(find their customers), go to gay parties outside of singapore(desperate to regroup with similar prostitutes and to celebrate their perversities and not forgetting, to spread Aids!).

All gays talk about is all about sex, sex, sex. Then of course they would then talk about their brought-about sexually transmitted diseases. Aids are not important to them, only satisfying their perversion is. They try to close their eyes or their minds, to the deadly Aids, they just want to be indifferent. They want to be deaf and blind, like the disabled.

There will never be a cure for Aids, because those disgusting perverts who did it with animals and created the first HIV are gays. Same perverse people. And the HIV virus does not like it when species try to mate with other species.

It is like stupid people who has some deadly disease continuing to spread it to others because they think it is their heritage to fulfill their perversion, to be proud and prostituting gays. They must be suffering from brain damage.

They only talk about how attractive some person is, how they look like, attractive or ugly, all the disgusting superficial empty no-brainers gossip.

I can think of nothing else gays talk about.

They go to some stupid gay church filled with hypocrite false christians. Then they would surely discuss about their conflicts with Christianity because they find their fellow churchmate attractive! What??? They want to be prostitutes yet they want God to take away their guilt. I say stop being shameless prostitutes then you will take away your own guilt! Stupid false christians! Burn them at the stake!

Gays have problems outing their perverse sexuality to their family because they are afraid to say to their family that they have a sick perversion of wanting attractive same-sex people to do something sick. Their families should get them behind bars, to protect the general public from such disgusting perverts!

Everything about gays is all related to prostitution, in being attractive so as to find sex partners. Everything about being gay is all related to sex. What else do gays do?

Go to the gay sites and we see gays talking about which guys from which tv shows or movies are attractive. They only talk about which things are "nice", who are attractive to them, which food are delicious, which restaurant to go, which clothes are fashionable. Reminds me that most fashion designers, hair dressers, models, artists, are gay.

Gays are almost the most useless people the world can do without. They are living in their own high class glamourous world when the world is this close to self-destruction. Why is the world close to self-destruction? It is because of selfish, close minded people like terrorists, moron leaders of some countries, just stupid retarded people, noisy women with no brains, and pervert gays, and of course the rapists, pedophiles and molesters.

But now in the present age, gays are the worshipper of Hitler, they are trying to wipe out themselves by using their bodies for virus host experiments. To see if they would contract the virus and die fast.

It is humans' responsibility to correct wrong when we see it, but to do nothing(I am refering gays' indifference towards perversion) implies that we allow it to happen because we approve of it(gays approve of perversions of rapists molesters and pedophiles). Then the fault of the previous generation would spread to the present one. But it is not my fault, it is the fault of perverse people like gays, pedophiles and pervert molesters!

Other people just do not care about gays because they know sooner or later gays will wipe themselves out with Aids. And of course they cannot have children. I am only kind enough to speak of this illogic gays are doing to themselves. Don't blame shift me to be your model for catharsis because the ones who are doing wrong are gays themselves.

Girl found dead at bottom of block of flats in Simei.

A little girl was found dead at the bottom of a block of HDB flats in Simei on Wednesday.

She is believed to be about four years old.

At about 8am, residents from the neighbourhood of Block 148, Simei Street 1, found the girl lying at the foot of the block.

The girl who was dressed in a pair of green pyjamas, was declared dead at the scene.

Police are investigating and has classified the case as unnatural death.

Source: Channel News Asia, 20 July 2005, 1551 hrs (SGT)

=======

That girl was my cell-group member's daughter. My mum said that she might have fallen after she woke up and found that her granny wasn't at home and started playing or looking for her granny...

Picture of her taken by Joe, when i went for Alpha 7 as a videographer on assignment.

=======

"early in the morn, the maid brot ellif's cousin to the mrt station to send her aunty off to work
den her grandma went downstairs to buy thngs when she still sleeping
den when seh wake up n see no one at home, she take a stool n look out of the window
n fell
n died
den the grandma called uncle simon
den he rushed back
they tried calling aunty irene but her phone was off
den aunty yok cheng contacted her by dunno wat.. n tell her that her daughter met with an accident
but they dint tell her that ellif die lia
n tell her to go back straight away
they oni told her wat happen when she reach home
den she took bout 1hr to calm down
they havent even see the body yet lor
den the head later dunno like wat liao
the news say her head n ear bleeding"

======

This is what i know of thus far.. Most prob i'll go for the wake tomorrow or friday... In the meantime, Time to sleep and pray that Irene and Simon will be strong and that Lord will guide them and be with them through this diff preiod.

Blessed!

Monday

Woke up half an hour early to take the first bus to camp as i had to setup for the chief conference. After setting it up, was told that it was cancelled AGAIN. Wasted my time and luckily i didn't take the taxi. Managed to catch up with pL and Jensen.

Jensen's a nice guy i would say... will i get attracted??? argh... am i going to 2 time??? whahha....

I spent the rest of the day flag-washing. National Day's coming and its time to hang the flags liaoz... i wonder if i would get hung instead. haha... Had lunch with pL... I was called to the highest point in my camp, i think, the repelling tower, the one with the helicopter... it was drizzling and was windy... it was such a nice sight... of Changi village and my camp. How i wish i could stay there longer, or if pL or Jensen were to be there, i'm sure they would have loved it too. Back to falg-washing thereafter.

It's the first day of lessons, Advertising: Stragety and Effective Practise. Same old boring lecturer - Dr. Sivam. I managed to stay awake throughout the whole lesson and i didn't leave half-way. Because i bought snacks back to class... haha... This time round, there were a number if eye candies. I saw one of them sitting by himself at the cafeteria when i walked past. A loner? Maybe i should start talking to him and make friends with him huh?? hehe...

I'm listening to Lush 99.5. I enjoy it.. Jazz and NuJazz... Simply nice for the night...

Goodnight peeps!

Sabbath

It's the end of another week and the begining of a new week.

Less than 365 days to ORD!!!

This week has been pretty hectic. You can know by me not blogging for the past week.

I did producting and presenting yesterday. It wasn't very good though. Wasn;t prepared and my lappy gave way on me... All my songs were in there and i couldn't play from there... guess the port's spoilt. I've to send the lappy back 2 Dell to get it repaired. luckily it's still under warranty.

Thereafter i went to Alex's birthday @ his house in pasir ris. I gave him a huge tub of Ice Cream.. wahhaha.... Will he put on weight after eating the whole tub? or will it be worse, diabetes?? Rendall asked me to go as Alex had invited me last minute.. so i agreed... Myron tagged along too... Then i asked him if he wanted to go with me to Club 95, and he agreed too.... That wasn't a very wise idea of mine as he's still underaged... pL and JenSen came along also... Irene wasn't around as she was in Hong Kong and would be back only on sunday (today). Wrong timing to go...

DIdn't go to church today as i slept until about noon. Woke up and headed down to AfA's office at Rowell Road for an urgent meeting cum interview... Den went back to Bedok. NTUC to buy stuffs and home to cook....

1) Pasta with Minced Meat, Garlic, Onions, Tomato Sauce, Saussage.
2) Soup with Onions, Garlic, Saussage and Roux.
3) Baked Beans.

Now i'm here blogging after washing up... Going to bathe soon...

Everyone out there, remember that you are Blessed and GOD LOVES YOU!

Have a greet week ahead, and till the next time i post, Blessed!

===

I will Sing, I will Praise
Even in my darkest time
Through the sorrow and the pain
I will Sing, I will Praise
Lift my hands to honor You
Because your word is true...
I will Sing

Sabbath & Kena Tua

It's Sabbath Again. How time flies...

Was supposed to work today from 9am to 9pm at a condo in newton. I arrived there and rang the door bell. This man opened the door. He looked at me with a surprised look. I though i had went up to the wrong apartment or wrong condo. Worse still, wrong day and time. I checked the unit number, it was right. Then the gay told me that he though it wasn't confirmed. Apprantly my nursing agent didn't call him back to confirm with him so he got another nursing agency to get a nurse for his dad. I went back. And now i'm still waiting for my agency to get back to me on how i'm going to be compensiated.

Went to church from newton. Worship was good. I was asked to attend the meeting for the 40 days of purpose. I was asked if i could do the video. I agreed. I'll be going down one of these days with my camera and ask people, What do you think it'll be like to be like Jesus? And i'm suppose to record down all the responses and edit them together. Dateline, Septemer.

I slept all the way from 5pm to about 8.30pm. Woke up and did the 40 days of purpose website for my church. It's now up at http://www.bpmc.info/40days/. i copied it from another church therefore, some of the contents isn't really correct as i've yet to customize it for my church.. haha....

it's sleeptime... BTW, Initial D was nice... I like Jay Chou.. wahahah.... I'll go gaga over him... He's so cute and charming and handsome...

Goodnight!

Chocolate Chip Cake

I'm baking again. 2 cakes this time round. In a faster time, 75% of time spent only. No special occasion.

I bought a cake mixer yesterday at taka... $35.90... Put it into good use today...

The banana cake was just as usual, just that i had mixed fruit and 4 fresh bananas in them. 2 bananas mashed and the other 2 sliced into cubes... Chocolate Chip Cake, my new receipe... First time baking it with my own creativity. I just substituted the Banana flavor with chocolate emulco and i added in chocolate chips with a little mixed fruit.

The chocolate chip cake turned out better than expected. Expect me to bake more Chocolate Chip Cake next time... Those in camp will be able to try it when i bring it for them to try on monday. Poh Liang too will be able to try it.. Poor him, having to do recall manning this weekend, but at least he has 2.5 days off. Adrian's the first one to be able to taste it other than my parents as i'm meeting him for Initial D later...

I'm off to my bath and then off to Toa Payoh for Initial D...

Cheerz!

Bomb Blast in London

6 Bombs exploded, some in the subway and one in a bus. One blast ripped the roof of the bus.

What is the world coming to? It has been said in the Bible that the next coming will be in fire...

Tomorrow i'll be off and i'm bringing and treating my mum out for lunch and shopping... I've reserved a table for 2 at Garden Hotel, the Atrium. it's about S$26.80+++ per head...

I'm now on-call every friday night, saturday day and night and sunday day. So hopefully i'll get an assignment every week. wahhaha... i've already got one this sunday from 9am to 9pm...

Sleep time!

Mid-week

It's already midweek. And the next moment, it's already thursday. Before you even know it, it's already the last working day of the week.

It's been a long, busy and tiring day for me. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. and hopefully i can leave early too...

nothing much to talk about... ciaoz.

Tuesday

It's been a normal, plain day... nothing much...

Started work early as i had to get the refreshments up by 8.30am... den the whole day was slack already...

i'm begining to like my QM.. haha... he's average looking.. and doesn't command people around... a rather nice guy... hehe...

updated the church's website again. this time round, i managed to put in the scrolling updates into the front page of the site.. it's already 10.30pm so soon.. time really flies. the last time i looked at the time was at 9.30pm and i thought to myself that i would sleep soon, before 10pm... and it's past 10 already... now, i must sleep before 11... it's another long day tomorrow...

I'm off on friday.. will be going out with my mum.. going to lion city hotel for lunch den to katong to adjust my specs and den to heeren to get a gift for my friend's birthday... it's a her... haha... surprise surpirse.. haha...

I'm looking for people who's interested in having hands-on experience in doing voice-overs, doing of station trailers, station jingle. I'm also looking for Hosts and Co-hosts.. I've got more or less the schedule up for 16 july... i have 4 slots of an hour each for the host/co-hosts to do their show on that day itself. If you wish to take up a slot, please get in touch with me asap. I'll have to "hear" your voice.. hahah....

Anyway, it's time to sleep, and before that, maybe have a chat with Adrian. Got to know him from the net a few days back... 18 year old from VJC... hehe...

And before i end my post, an interesting article that i chanced upon.

Happy reading and Cheers!

MiRaNtZ

---

Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited

The New York Times
July 5, 2005

By BENEDICT CAREY

Some people are attracted to women; some are attracted to men. And some, if Sigmund Freud, Dr. Alfred Kinsey and millions of self-described bisexuals are to be believed, are drawn to both sexes.

But a new study casts doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men.

The study, by a team of psychologists in Chicago and Toronto, lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation.

People who claim bisexuality, according to these critics, are usually homosexual, but are ambivalent about their homosexuality or simply closeted. "You're either gay, straight or lying," as some gay men have put it.

In the new study, a team of psychologists directly measured genital arousal patterns in response to images of men and women. The psychologists found that men who identified themselves as bisexual were in fact exclusively aroused by either one sex or the other, usually by other men.

The study is the largest of several small reports suggesting that the estimated 1.7 percent of men who identify themselves as bisexual show physical attraction patterns that differ substantially from their professed desires.

"Research on sexual orientation has been based almost entirely on self-reports, and this is one of the few good studies using physiological measures," said Dr. Lisa Diamond, an associate professor of psychology and gender identity at the University of Utah, who was not involved in the study.

The discrepancy between what is happening in people's minds and what is going on in their bodies, she said, presents a puzzle "that the field now has to crack, and it raises this question about what we mean when we talk about desire."

"We have assumed that everyone means the same thing," she added, "but here we have evidence that that is not the case."

Several other researchers who have seen the study, scheduled to be published in the journal Psychological Science, said it would need to be repeated with larger numbers of bisexual men before clear conclusions could be drawn.

Bisexual desires are sometimes transient and they are still poorly understood. Men and women also appear to differ in the frequency of bisexual attractions. "The last thing you want," said Dr. Randall Sell, an assistant professor of clinical socio-medical sciences at Columbia University, "is for some therapists to see this study and start telling bisexual people that they're wrong, that they're really on their way to homosexuality."

He added, "We don't know nearly enough about sexual orientation and identity" to jump to these conclusions.

In the experiment, psychologists at Northwestern University and the Center for Addiction and Mental Health in Toronto used advertisements in gay and alternative newspapers to recruit 101 young adult men. Thirty-three of the men identified themselves as bisexual, 30 as straight and 38 as homosexual.

The researchers asked the men about their sexual desires and rated them on a scale from 0 to 6 on sexual orientation, with 0 to 1 indicating heterosexuality, and 5 to 6 indicating homosexuality. Bisexuality was measured by scores in the middle range.

Seated alone in a laboratory room, the men then watched a series of erotic movies, some involving only women, others involving only men.

Using a sensor to monitor sexual arousal, the researchers found what they expected: gay men showed arousal to images of men and little arousal to images of women, and heterosexual men showed arousal to women but not to men.

But the men in the study who described themselves as bisexual did not have patterns of arousal that were consistent with their stated attraction to men and to women. Instead, about three-quarters of the group had arousal patterns identical to those of gay men; the rest were indistinguishable from heterosexuals.

"Regardless of whether the men were gay, straight or bisexual, they showed about four times more arousal" to one sex or the other, said Gerulf Rieger, a graduate psychology student at Northwestern and the study's lead author.

Although about a third of the men in each group showed no significant arousal watching the movies, their lack of response did not change the overall findings, Mr. Rieger said.

Since at least the middle of the 19th century, behavioral scientists have noted bisexual attraction in men and women and debated its place in the development of sexual identity. Some experts, like Freud, concluded that humans are naturally bisexual. In his landmark sex surveys of the 1940's, Dr. Alfred Kinsey found many married, publicly heterosexual men who reported having had sex with other men.

"Males do not represent two discrete populations, heterosexual and homosexual," Dr. Kinsey wrote. "The world is not to be divided into sheep and goats."

By the 1990's, Newsweek had featured bisexuality on its cover, bisexuals had formed advocacy groups and television series like "Sex and the City" had begun exploring bisexual themes.

Yet researchers were unable to produce direct evidence of bisexual arousal patterns in men, said Dr. J. Michael Bailey, a professor of psychology at Northwestern and the new study's senior author.

A 1979 study of 30 men found that those who identified themselves as bisexuals were indistinguishable from homosexuals on measures of arousal. Studies of gay and bisexual men in the 1990's showed that the two groups reported similar numbers of male sexual partners and risky sexual encounters. And a 1994 survey by The Advocate, the gay-oriented newsmagazine, found that, before identifying themselves as gay, 40 percent of gay men had described themselves as bisexual.

"I'm not denying that bisexual behavior exists," said Dr. Bailey, "but I am saying that in men there's no hint that true bisexual arousal exists, and that for men arousal is orientation."

But other researchers - and some self-identified bisexuals - say that the technique used in the study to measure genital arousal is too crude to capture the richness - erotic sensations, affection, admiration - that constitutes sexual attraction.

Social and emotional attraction are very important elements in bisexual attraction, said Dr. Fritz Klein, a sex researcher and the author of "The Bisexual Option."

"To claim on the basis of this study that there's no such thing as male bisexuality is overstepping, it seems to me," said Dr. Gilbert Herdt, director of the National Sexuality Resource Center in San Francisco. "It may be that there is a lot less true male bisexuality than we think, but if that's true then why in the world are there so many movies, novels and TV shows that have this as a theme - is it collective fantasy, merely a projection? I don't think so."

John Campbell, 36, a Web designer in Orange County, Calif., who describes himself as bisexual, also said he was skeptical of the findings.

Mr. Campbell said he had been strongly attracted to both sexes since he was sexually aware, although all his long-term relationships had been with women. "In my case I have been accused of being heterosexual, but I also feel a need for sex with men," he said.

Mr. Campbell rated his erotic attraction to men and women as about 50-50, but his emotional attraction, he said, was 90 to 10 in favor of women. "With men I can get aroused, I just don't feel the fireworks like I do with women," he said.

About 1.5 percent of American women identify themselves bisexual. And bisexuality appears easier to demonstrate in the female sex. A study published last November by the same team of Canadian and American researchers, for example, found that most women who said they were bisexual showed arousal to men and to women.

Although only a small number of women identify themselves as bisexual, Dr. Bailey said, bisexual arousal may for them in fact be the norm.

Researchers have little sense yet of how these differences may affect behavior, or sexual identity. In the mid-1990's, Dr. Diamond recruited a group of 90 women at gay pride parades, academic conferences on gender issues and other venues. About half of the women called themselves lesbians, a third identified as bisexual and the rest claimed no sexual orientation. In follow-up interviews over the last 10 years, Dr. Diamond has found that most of these women have had relationships both with men and women.

"Most of them seem to lean one way or the other, but that doesn't preclude them from having a relationship with the nonpreferred sex," she said. "You may be mostly interested in women but, hey, the guy who delivers the pizza is really hot, and what are you going to do?"

"There's a whole lot of movement and flexibility," Dr. Diamond added. "The fact is, we have very little research in this area, and a lot to learn."

It's July!

I've not been posting. Have been rather busy and tired.

Managed to update my church's website and create a workshop page for orff-schulwerk association. and i'm planning for the fun day on 16 july...

Last year, i did live hosting for the family fun day. This year, i was asked to do live hosting again. but this time round, i'm going to do it differently. I'm going to do it Radio Style... I'm going to allow those who wants to be DJ to come and DJ and i'm going to invite some of my friends to come and host or co-host with me. I'm trying to get Irene Ang down as well, depending on her schedule...

I need people.. to do voice-overs, trailers, station liners as well as hosts/DJ.

if you are keen, do sms, call or email me... +65 94503999.

BPMC.INFO - that's the name of the radio station for that day. the same name as the website.. hehe...

till then, cya!