ArgH~~~~~ HeArt B r e a k . . .

I just found out that the person i like proposed to someone else to date him.... argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and also.. he's dating a number of people at a time and will choose to see which is the best.....
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that his partner can't go irc,no aj contacts so and so forth....
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
with me holding so many commitments and appointments, how can i just leave them without getting the people to replace me???

And.. he's also not interested in me...
argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sigh....

My heart's shattered.... It's broken...

I wonder if it can be pieced back together again....

It's so ItChY~~~

Everywhere's so itchy... My face, my body, my arms, my hands, my legs, my feet... Luckily my groin's not affected...

And all thanks to a Drug Allergy Reaction. I went to the GP on thrusday and was given 2 days of mc as i was sick. I was prescribed 4 types of medication. Paraceptemol aka panadol was amongst them. my my.. that's such a common drug and i'm allergic to it... well, actually, i just suspected one of them.. but the doctor at the polyclinic said that it's one of them or might even be all of them.. so now i'm not only allergic to 1 type of medciation, but 4 types of medication... sigh...

and the itch's killing me... the rash's too... it's like even now wen i'm typing this blog entry, my hands are a little numb.. due to teh scratching... but i can't help it... it's so itchy.. prickily heat powder aka snake powder helps... for a short while... i suppose tat i would use up the whole container very soon.... and my whole body's pain when i bathe.. especially when there's soap... imagine all the broken skin all over my whole body....

i've no mood to work and i'm just spending my whole time on bed resting. and when i can't sleep, i would just be tossing and turning in bed. i'm unable even to concentrate on the stuffs that i'm doing. telephone conversations are difficult also as i'm always distracted scratching my body and sometimes i would not be listening to what the other party is saying.. and when i'm talking, i always have long breaks... concentrating on my itchiness and scratching and trying to talk at the same time... men are poor multi-taskers... therefore, you can tell that this scratching of mine is not a simple one.. you really have to concentrate and scratch... sigh...

i'm on another 2 days of mc. i hope the itch gets much better tomorrow. but i suppose i wounldn't be going out tomorrow as well as i wouldn't want to leave my house... okie larz.. leaving the house for meals around the estate isn't that bad... but orchard road and to office... nah... i'll just be staying at home tomorrow and sleep again.. and hoepfully i would be able to do my work.. where are all my sponsors for the party?? grrr... we're like about 2 weeks away from the party and we've not even got an official sponsor yet.. i've calculated... if i've no sponsors, i'll just be able to breakeven merely from the sales of the tickets and not make any profit. which means that my deficit will carry on...

anyway, it's dinner time.. i'm going to have dinner with my family now...

Cheers!

Managing People

It's not easy managing people... and co-ordinating people...

you have 6 people to take care of and have to get all of them to come for the trainings. and some can't make it here and some can't make it there... and once after everything is confirmed.. the trainers can't make it and all that.... how???

or should i just scrape away with the performers and just have a small group?

well, it's all giving me a bigger headache now... and the sponsors for the party.. all still taking so long to reply... managing staff is also difficult..

and my mum's another irritant... my dad emailed me this morning saying that he wasn't able to sleep well as he was being fired by my mum teh whoel night... and to think that my mum fires me in the day... i really wonder why there's so much gunpowder??? doesn't it finish??

grrr... i didn't go to teh office yesterday... i'm meetin the breakdancer later at the office, si i'll definately have to go down... and i'm croaking liek a frog..

will blog later if i have the time to...

btw, i just did up my dad's company's website... www.radiantandassociates.com

cheers!

Sick

I'm sick... Went to the GP and managed to get 2 days of MC.. haha...

I'm down with a cold... (and the weather's so hott) Blocked and runny nose.... Sore throat and cough... I guess i've overworked myself... but how can i not? Or, maybe i should just suspend it. Stop it right here and lose the money spent on everything.. the rent for the year of office (actually not as i can convert it to my 2nd home) and just just loss for party 5...

It's a very tough decision that i've to make here....

My mum's nagging and all that.. i can even hear her nagging with my door closed and my music blasting... should i just run away from home and shift over to my office? nopez... an unwise decision. or just stay in camp?? nopez.. unwise decision... think i should just stay put at home and just bear with her nagging... or should i say, shouting...

My modem for broadband for the office has arrive.. finally i need not use dial up in teh office and waste the phone bills...

should i go the office later?? maybe i should, for a little while to indulge the quiet place without the someone shouting... and at least i can surf the net too~~~

and i'm on a budget.. that funnie lady cut off my allowances... :(

will repost tonight if i'm free again...

Falling Sick

It has been busy in Army... Shifting of office... luckily the same floor and not like from 2nd to 1st or to 3rd which is worse.... den this morning raining cats and dogs also...

Ate chicken rice at the swimming pool canteen for the first time and it was rather nice.. haha...

I had to go office to conduct a brefing... went quite well...

but.. i'm falling sick.... blocked nose for the past week and today, sore throat and feeling a little feverish... if it still persists tomorrow, den will have to go see doctor liaoz....

and the office still dun have broadband... actually, line's activated but modem still not delievered.. actually delievered, but failed twice... once wrong location, 2nd mum feel asleep whiel waiting and so now must wait till 2mororw for them to deliever...

and stoopid MDIS called my hse to inform that i didn't attend classes... and i got a screwing from my mum... grrr...

And worse of all, i'm still single... it's not the status that's bothering me... but it's tat my heart is still stolen by tat same guy who refuses to give me his.. haha.... why am i still waiting? i dunno...

i just like him.. i dunno why.. maybe it's coz of his attributes??? sigh...

He sent to me the song by britney, everyday... and listening to that song, how i wish tat i can have tat song specially for him... the worst part is that i dunno how he feels about me.. and also if he's ready for anotehr relationship...

wen will this end? i do not know... will i keep waiting?? i dunno... will the heart die?? i dunno... but if one day after a few months and he wants me, will i want him? yes, i do... and how i wish i can just ask him if i can actually have his heart to fill my emppty space in my heart... and the answer from him is, yes, i do....

are these just dreams? well, maybe i can continue to dream on... or maybe it'll just come true.. i dunno...

i was asked.. what if he justs go stead with me, just to make me happy, den maybe have sex, and break off after 2 weeks... how would i feel.. it all depends... what's the reason for breaking off... isit coz the love died? or these's no love??? or he was cheating on me??? but well, i will just respect, honor, obey, follow and try as much as i can to do what he wants...

i love him... it's kinda of like so far yet so near... arghh... torture emotionally???

signing off...

Goodnight everyone.. And to him too..

HUrts

i'm hurt....

well, it seems that i should just seperate work for my personal life.. sigh...

but can i?

it is difficult.

should i just give up or just suffer in silence?

i think i should just hold on to it.

i'm not sure if i would be able to take it with all these stress and all the piling workload esp. with all the finances burden...

burden of the heart... the company... of army... sigh... i dread it.. what can i do? nothing.

i just feel like quitting everything.

i should not.

well, i'm just confused and hurt. hopefully after a night of rest, rather, 4 hours of rest, i would feel better.

just push on mirantz...

and love hurts always...

but you wun mind if he is the one who hurts you, but you still get hurt....

well, push it to the limit!

Server Down AGAIN

RegisterFly.com - One of the world's best provider of domain registration service.

But, the server crashed again... It crashed the first time yesterday...

Should i just purchase a server?? haha...

Anyway, I was at home the whole day... The person whom i was supposed to meet couldn't make it as he had to watch a movie with his uncle and his brother... sigh...

but neverthelss, i would be meeting him again tomrorw.. hehe... yeah~~ i hope he doesn't dissappoint me again...

Sponsor's letter is one day late.. sigh....

turning in soon...

Love ya... but dunno if you even like me a not... :(

$$$ Money & Mice loving the Big grain of rice

Why do need money? Why is there such a thing known as money? Withour MOney, our lives would be so miserable...

My heart's empty again... Hika from the chat channel #plu was so kind to send me this song when i asked him if he had it.. He didn't and took the trouble to download it for me..

Lau Shu Ai Da Mi... I kept listening to the song.. and I how i wish i could actually sing this song to the person who's my heart is with now, but the thing is that, his heart is not with me...

Wo ai ni, ai che di, jiu siang lau shu ai da mi.... bu guai you duo shao feng yu wo hui yi yang pei che ni... wo xiang ni, xiang che ni, bu guan you duo mo de ku, zi yao nen rang ni kai xi, wo sem mo dou yuan yi, che yang ai ni...

My chinese is poor. and it's very poor so please don't blame me if there are any errors... I took 10 minutes just to listen to that chorus and write it down.. so ya... don't complain... only the guy who had stolen my heart can.. haha...

I love you, Loving you, Just like mice liking a big grain of rice... No matter how much wind and rain i will still accompany you... I think of you, thinking of you, no matter how tough is it, as long as you can be happy, i will be willing for anything, just loving you.... My sentence construction is equally as bad....

well, i'm just hoping that the guy who stole my heart would just chance upon this... and i wonderwhat he'll do... will he give me his heart also so that my other half,, which is currently empty would be filled???

I Love You, Sweetheart...

Post-Chalet

It's been a long time since i've last written. Life's been very hectic and busy for me. I'm on the verge of falling really ill. All these due to lack of sleep, stress and all that...

I just checked-out from the chalet. 3 days and 2 nights over at Costa Sands Pasir Ris.
Wasn't really fun as we didn't had much people over. And it all narrows down to my mum. This cannot and that cannot.. So Fussy~~~ And i've learnt not to bring mums out to any chalet's that you're organzing.. They'll just spoil everything for you, thinking it's for your good... Yar.. Right.... -_-||

Managed to get 19 people to come for the auditions. Sigh... A loss again. Deficit of about 1\3 of the expences.. sigh...

And my heart... has been stolen by someone.. and i'm wondering how i can get my heart back... or would that someone even give me his heart??? I'm longing for it though... but i dunno... it seems that the chances are slim...

I sound so despo.. Is it because i've been single for such a long time? Or do i just need someone to love and care for and getting something in return? Why are guys so hard to find? Why am i Fat? Why? One Sided Love? WHy? Life is a journey where they are ful of Y's. I wonder when i can get my partner's heart... sigh...

Lonely and Despo.............