Busy Week

It's been a busy week. I left office at 11.45pm on thursday night and 1.30am on friday night (or should i say saturday morning) . All for preparing for the Trevvy Launch Parties - Strawberries & Cream. It's tomorrow (tonight actually as it's already sunday) at the show will start at 11.30pm.

Was at office again today since 2.30pm and was there all the way till 11.15pm and then headed over to Happy for the monthly Sweat parties. It's the last Sweat party for the year.

Now waiting for kennie to finish up whatever he's doing (homework - pity him) and then it's time for me to call him and chat.

Goodnight people~

Sony Ericsson Z610

Woke up at 9am this morning and went to church. Had to supervise the AV for a church wedding in my church. Started only at 11.30am. Wasted my time. If i had known, i would have woke up only at 10.30am - 1.5 hours more of sleep for me and that's very precious to me.

After church went to meet Kenneth. wanted to take 67 from tampines to his place to pick him up. instead, decided to take 168 to woodlands and then 963 to his place as it might take a little shorter time. 168 passed by the new Ikea at Tampines North Avenue 2. It's big, might be even bigger than the present store at Alexandra road. After arriving at woodlands, i decided to go to causeway point to check out the hello store as i've been wanting to get my phoneline but unable to as i can't get my phone. i went to double confirm to see if the phone's really gone. Yes, it's selling like hotcakes.

At the event space, MediaCorp was having the Star Awards 2006 roadshow. Desmond Koh and Lin Peifen were the hosts. Managed to take a few photos, but were quite bad, all thanks to my 1.3megapixel Nokia 6230i. And guess who i saw - a real good looking guy. He looked very familar but i just can't remember his name until i showed Kenneth his pic wen i met him. It was Julian Hee!

Took 963 and met Kenneth. We then went to have dinner at the foodcourt at Cineleisure. Thereafter, it was off to the Teleshop at Taka to get my phone. I had earlier reservered at via 1626 as it was already the last set left. Ta-da~~~ My blue color Sony Ericsson Z610i. I had earlier wanted a pink color, but it was all sold out since 2 weeks ago. Kennie was the one who choose the phone for me and he kinda liked the color as well, so i can say that i bought the phone and all tat coz of his recommendation.

We took photos at Wisma Atria. They have a nice Christmas deco over at the atrium.

Time to leave, and we left. Nothing much. I'm happy. He's mapleing now and i'm waiting for him, den time 2 sleep! Going with him to Duolus tomorrow as i can't find anyone to go with me. He's so nice to want to accompany me.. hehe... Lucky me!

Busi

These few days has been rather busy for me in the office. Lotsa things to see to. 1 new staff coming in, 1 staff leaving and another taking urgent leave. That takes away all the extra time to shake legs in the office away. Ooops... :x

I miss him, even though we have been chatting over the phone almost every night. It's been some time since we last met. I just miss his physical presence. But well, he's always in my heart. You know, the feeling of loving someone yet not being able to call him your other half, is horrid. Is it just another test of patience? And the worse thing is that, i'm already treating him like my other half, in fact, he's my unofficial other half. I think of him when i'm at work, i think of him wen i'm having lunch, i think of him wen i'm busy even, hoping that he's fine and sometimes just wondering how he is and what he's doing. I hope that i wun be hurt by him though. sigh...

Sometimes, i have the thought that he's just using me as a temporary replacement as he's on a rebound from a bad relationship. And whenever i think of that, i'll feel very very very upset and bad. sighs... who knows if it's even true...

Now waiting for him to finish his conversation with his friend, and i'll wait for him to decide if he still wants to chat or not.. i dun wanna tire his mouth out. haha...

Going swimming tomorrow with lennel. Asked kenneth along but he's lazy. Well, i dun wanna force him so yea, just let him be.. anyway, i'll already be meeting him this saturday. Can't wait to see him again. I just love him. sigh.......

Halfway through blogging, i went to pee. While peeing, i was thinking to myself, why am i getting this feeling? The feeling of loss. I guess i'm getting possessive. i can be wen i feel "endangered". Do i feel like i'm loosing him? Comeon, it's only a long phonecall that he's on wif his friend. How can he every tolerate me if i always act, behave and feel this way wen ever he's on the phone for a long long time??? Well, i guess i just feel threatened. Sigh...

Why is it that i'm not "single"? Why did i get "attached"? I seriously do not know the reason even. Why do i like him of all others? I can't even explain it. He's just an average boy-next-door. Well, i guess it's coz of his heart, attitude and personality. He's just different.

Why can't everyone just be single without any problems? Why do i long for him? I long for the day whereby i can just hold his hand and walk down the aisles in church with wedding bells ringing. Well, i guess, at this stage and point in time, just being able to hold his hand will do.

My mood now: mixed and a lil sad. Asked him if he wanted to chat still and he said yes. I would never want to disappoint him, but, i'm just feeling very bad. The longer i'm waiting in vain, the worse i feel. I just feel like crying, well, in fact, a tear just rolled down my cheek. Is he really worth the wait? I would say yes still though... sigh... Why did he trap my heart? No one knows.

Goodnight people...

Blogger Beta, 萃威 and Wink TV

Some of you may know that Blogger now is part of Google and there you have, Blogger Beta. I've converted and migrated my account. Have you?

Just as we have Trevvy Beta. And the site's no longer under test. We also have a chinese name - 萃威 (cui4 wei1).

Wink TV, Asia's first broadband and video channel is now live after nearly 2 months of development. However, only users in a few Asia region are able to view it due to the rights.

Yesterday was my cousin brother's wedding. Blessing in the morning at Telok Ayer Chinese Methodist Church (TA2) over at a place near HarbourFront. Followed by a tea ceremony at my uncle's house in Potong Pasir. Went back home to change and makeup then went for their wedding dinner at Raffles Hotel. It was a real experience.

During the blessing session in church, the reverend and and my cousin said: "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." And at night, my cousin said again during his thank you speech, "God made Adam and Even and not Adam and Steve." Hey! What's the matter with it? Is that targeting at me??? So what if i'm gay? I'm not sure if he's homophobic though... For one that i know - ALL guys are NEVER straight. Just get them aroused, and they wun even mind you to jerk or suck them off. That's it!

I've been slacking, stoning and bumming at home for the whole day, doing nothing productive. It's always like that on Sundays. I've made up my mind to buy the water cistern tomorrow afternoon at the hardware shop in Rochor and bring it home to fix it at night. It has been months since it gave way and dropped onto my back while i was shitting and poor me got all wet. Such a good time to drop - imagine yourself shitting and halfway, something drops on you, and gets you wet - and you have NOTHING to flush away your shitt thereafter.

Hope it's not making you puke. Waiting for my beloved Kennie (well, he's not mine la, but how i wish and hope he is) and then, chat with him later. You know, i actually had this dream one night, that he told me that he thinks that we're too close and that we should distance ourselves and be just friends. period. After waking up, i felt so relieved that it was just a dream. I dunno how i would react if it was true.. I think i would go into depression or into a suicide mode... haha... I really love him.. I'm treating him as my other half, even though we're not.

Goodnight people!

Seven Month Itch

I went to watch Seven Month Itch again today, but this time round, with Derrick. He's a straight. My ex's brother. He enjoyed it and me too. It was a little better this time round coz of the audience. When i watched it last Friday, it was just a few of us from Trevvy, AfA, HPB and Fridae.

I've to attend my first "trilogy" of weddings tomorrow, starting with my dad's friend's daughter. I don't even know my dad's friend. Please - call me and entertain me, or at least sms me from 7.30pm onwards to keep me occupied okie??? I would really really appreciate that.

And here's the article from Trevvy, written by my editor regarding the Seven Month Itch.

The awareness is there, but unsafe sex practices between MSM remain a concern. A new play by AfA and TNS attempts to address the issues, but Trevvy’s Kerbing Lee asks, “How?”

The Necessary Stage (TNS) has been commissioned by Action for Aids (AfA), the local AIDS prevention and awareness initiative, to create a play. The Seven-Month Itch is the product. The taglines?

“He has betrayed the trust of his partner. Worst of all, he may be infected”
“Will he be brave enough to take an HIV-test?”
“Will he confess his infidelity to his partner?”

Sounds like one should expect something of the melodrama typical of an after-school sex-ed special. But as even the playwright, Haresh Sharma of TNS, admits, there is a high penetration of awareness of safe sex practices with regards to MSM (men who have sex with men). However, when it comes to the actual practice of safe sex, the figures don’t lie. A whole lot of people just aren’t doing it. So, how does AfA expect to get the message across? Here’s a condom, wear it. Protect oneself. Protect one’s partner. We’ve heard it endlessly. Now what?

Sharma believes that there is some amount of complacency going on. In the incipient days of the AIDS epidemic, there was at least the fear that had people either abstaining from casual sex, or at least practicing safe sex. As advocates for those who had become infected and faced stigmatisation, there was the campaign to educate about transmission, and ways of living with the infection. Health initiatives made HIV less of a bogeyman, exposing how the virus worked and how it could be managed. One’s neighbour could be positive; a relative, likewise. One could be dating an infected individual. But don’t be afraid – no need to discriminate. The sharing of utensils, saliva, or air alone isn’t going to get one infected. Use a condom.

At the same time, get regular tests. If one does get infected, it’s better to find out as early as possible. Even if one is infected, no need to contemplate suicide. With counselling and treatment, one can almost surely resume one’s meaningful existence. Have a boyfriend, pop a few pills, and live out a fulfilling career. Or at least that’s what popular gay entertainment tells us.

So now, we no longer live with the fear. Then, how does one get people to listen? Individuals are weighing the prospect of living with a terminal condition and the inconvenience, and the decrease in pleasure, in the heat of the moment and deciding that the risk of infection is something they can live with. People are still getting infected left and right. It may not be HIV, but there are a slew of other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) to be had – syphilis, for one. “So what? That’s curable,” is what one might hear. Now, what is to be done?

It’s tricky to negotiate the landscape, what with the landmines. Yes, an infected individual isn’t someone to discriminate against. Yes, one can manage HIV infection to an extent. At the same time, one must be afraid enough to want to stay safe – whether or not in the interest of oneself, or of one’s partner.

So, if people have become complacent, and are tired of the messages, why come to this play? Sharma believes that people will come if only to enjoy a performance. It doesn’t hurt to feature two attractive actors – Timothy Nga and Danny Yeo – either. As Sharma puts it, MSM refers not just to gay men, “We’re talking about married men, gay men, foreign works.” But he believes that if one can reach at least one part of the equation, maybe next time, this person will think, “Hey, maybe I should do this instead.” From his experience with working on plays that drive social messages – he was previously commissioned by the Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) to write a play concerning suicide prevention – Sharma says that it’s important to target pockets of people at a time in outreach, and to promote discussion.

Sharma has created The Seven-Month Itch as an interactive piece. The audience, he says, will feel engaged and become invested in the discussion because they will be allowed to take on the role of the protagonist in various situations and to suggest how this character should act given his options. An audience participant might provide textbook answers, but the actors have been coached to throw in a few curve balls to make it as difficult as possible for them to take the responsible stance. This at least begins to re-create the likely factors that may impair an individual’s judgement when it comes to issues of safe sex and fidelity – alcohol, impetuosity, a gorgeous guy.

The Seven-Month Itch is an attempt by AfA to address some of the issues that can lead to the practice of unsafe sex and the possible transmission of HIV and other STIs in as innovative a way as possible. However, the concern still remains of how effective the execution is going to be. I asked Sharma for his thoughts on the matter. He said that this was his first time working with AfA for a play such as this.

Previously, he had worked with Paddy Chew, the first Singaporean to publicly announce that he was HIV positive. The play, Completely With/Out Character, a one-man show about Chew and performed by Chew in 1999 was Sharma’s first theatrical endeavour dealing with HIV and AIDS. Sharma said that with strain of the production, after every performance, Chew would collapse backstage. But he should show up again the next day without fail. Chew died shortly after the end of the run. Sharma admits that sometimes the situation with AIDS awareness and prevention – especially in Singapore – does get to him. But he feels compelled to do what he can when he thinks back to his work with Chew.

Organizations such as AfA can only do so much. They have clearly done excellent work in the areas of education and awareness. When it comes to the more recent issues with complacently and “condom fatigue”, as one member of the Health Promotion Board as put it, new strategies may be necessary to understand what people are thinking and feeling when they are aware of the risks involved, but persist with unsafe practices such as bare-backing (engaging in anal sex without the use of a condom). Or when people ask what the point of regular STI screenings is. Some feel that by the time they are infected, it is already too late and they wonder why they should bother to find out. Nevertheless, it is still important for organizations such as AfA to continue their work. One only hopes that they are able to evolve their structures and solutions in order to address the new situation before it becomes inevitable that a wave of fear concerning STIs is necessitated again.

Author's bio: Having worked previously as sub-editor (albeit, effectively editor) at a small and limited circulation publication, Kerbing Lee feels that it is time for him to propagate his wise and omniscient views on a larger stage. When not penning down his ever-incoherent thoughts, Lee can be found running like a big, sweaty ostrich around the vicinity of Holland Village, or capsizing kayaks along the far-from-crystal-clear waters of East Coast Park.

Get your tickets $23 now from Gatecrash or you may get it at the door as well. Concessions at $19.

Till then, Goodnite peeps!

It's Novemeber!

Its been 31 days and it's already November 2006. We've another 25 days to go before December 2006 and before you know it, it'll be a new year.

Nothing much has happened these days. Life still goes on. Kennie busy with his studies as usual. I'm just glad that he makes time for me even though he gets pretty tired after all his lessons.

I popped the question again on Friday night. I was disappointed yet again - he's not looking for another relationship.

It's a boring day. And oh well, just live life as it is. I'm just contented that he's my close friend. But of course, i would want more but how can i ever force such thing?

I'll not be able to spend his upcoming December holidays with him. He begins his holidays on the 18th and he'll be leaving for Korea. And when he returns, i'll be leaving for Thailand. Oh well, what can be done now? Cancel my trip and upset my parents and waste money? Well, i'll just have to wait till his holiday perhaps - just to spend time with him.

Signing off.