Boring last Saturday of the month

Friday was very very unproductive. Went to A Bar Called Barry's over at Collinwood with Chris and Marcus. Was a rather nice place. They don't serve drinks in jugs though, only its cups. And it's only A$7 per cup and it's a full cup. I'm chipping away. *chip cheap cheep* Chris got tipsy and he talked lots. I enjoyed it and I love it when he talks, else I'm always the one talking. Stayed overnight at Marcus's house. Didn't really sleep though. Left Marcus's only at about 9am and that was the time when Marcus went to sleep. He was gaming all the while. Reached home and slept all the way till 2.30pm. Went to Preston market with Faezah, Caroline and Nicolaas. Came back, had dinner and rotted the night away at the health sciences room. Was supposed to be studying, but didn't have the mood to. Ended up Tagging on my blog and watching the movie, Superbad. Was a nice show. Went home to sleep thereafter.

It's been a boring Saturday, well, at least from the time I woke up till after dinner. Woke up only at 12.30pm. Had oats and instant noodles for lunch. Went to the library and rotted there till 5pm, when it closed and we were all chased out of it. Had dinner and went back home. Chris then told me that he'll head over to my place to keep me company, because he'll be heading down to a club tonight and he's meeting his friends at 10.30pm at the tram stop outside the uni. It was really sweet thing for him to do and I felt touched. He could have just left home minutes before, but chose to come spend time with me instead. We had a good time, chatting and such. I really love the time we spend together.

He opened my cupboard to "do" his hair and he saw something moving. It was a cockroach! I almost freaked out! I wonder how long it has been there. I asked him to do something about it, and he just stood there. I called Nicholas thereafter and he came over almost immediately. Armed with newspapers, after moving away my carpet washer and snacks from the floor, while he was staring and "thinking", one of my floormates, Robbie walked past. I asked for his assistance instead. He asked for a container and I gave him the one I used to store my coins in. With a couple of smooth moves, he trapped the roach into the container with the newspaper covering it preventing its escape. As he walked past to dispose of the cockroach, he put it so close to me and I screamed. It was the very first time I screamed in Australia and I think my neighbors would think that I've been raped or assaulted. And I wasn't screaming at the top of my voice as yet. Luckily I didn't, else I wouldn't know how to face my friends in future. The queen in me has been exposed. Gosh!

I seriously hope that there's no roach eggs or more roaches in my cupboard or room. Well, if there are any bugs next time, I'll just head over to Robbie's room to seek help. Went over to Jovita's room thereafter to watch a movie, Sidney White. Was quite a nice movie. Back in my room now and I think I should go sleep pretty soon.

I hope Chris's having a fun time and not get himself dead drunk, which I'm doubtful of. I'm hoping to go to the club one day so that I can experience what it's like to be in a rock club. It's called Boom. Simple and nice name. Like Taboo. I miss Taboo...

It's Sabbath tomorrow. It's the launch of the album, All for Love, by Planetshakers. Chris and Nicolaas would be coming over together with my church buddy, Nicholas and Leon. Am kinda excited, but I have a feeling after speaking to Chris just now that I'll be disappointed.

Oh well, time for bed. Have a good night everyone. Oh yea, Happy June! Half the year has passed and we're 6 months away from year 2009. Time really flies...

Tagged.

Instructions:

1) Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question, make it a total of 10 questions.
2) Write 8 random facts about yourself.
3) Tag 5 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post and notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. At what age do you wish to marry?

- That depends on when I can find my other half and if we're able to get married.

2. What are you afraid to lose the most?

- Close friends and Myself. (Yes, I've lost myself once.)

3. If you win $1 million, what would you do?

- Donate 1/4 of it to Action for AIDS (Singapore), use the other 1/4 for a holiday for my friend and parents and save the remaining half of it.

4. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?

- Depends. Mostly Yes after a period of time.

5. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?

- My other half would be just themself, be faithful, honest and committed.

6. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.

- Funny, God-loving, Caring.

7. Which type of person do you hate the most?

- Hate's not in my dictionary. It's too strong a word to use.

8. Which physical part of you are you most satisfied with?

- I am who I am.

9. Which is the type of food you enjoy but most people hate?

- None that I can think of. Oh wait, perhaps, Durians?

10. Do you smoke?

- No.
===
* Where do you come from?
===
8 random facts about me...

(i) Talks a lot.
(ii) Eats a lot.
(iii) Am a pig - loves to sleep.
(iv) Am yawning away & blogging right now when supposed to be mugging.
(v) Jack of all trades, master of none.
(vi) Am short.
(vii) Always online @ home, when not asleep.
(viii) Dunno what to write liao...

5 persons who I'll tag:-

- Chris
- Brian Teo
- Felicia Neo
- Faezah
- Azfar

FCUK Singapore

Do Malaysians really dislike Singaporeans just because Singapore have sovereignty over Petra Branca (known as Pulau Batu Puteh to Malaysia)? Apparently it seems so, from this particular blog. It's even asking Malaysians to boycott Singapore companies in Malaysia. I wonder if that'll happen. "Today is a sad day for all Malaysians". That was the very first sentence in the very first post in the blog. It's a generalization and a sweeping statement. No evidence was cited in the statement and there were no references.

I have a new email address. It's mail(at)edgarmirantz.com. Easy to remember too.

Nothing much to be said today. It's a 1 lecture tomorrow. A 1 hour tute and 1 hour prac on Friday and it's the end of the Semester 1.

Hoping all's good.

Cheers!

Tired...

I slept early last night. At midnight to be exact. And i woke up this morning at about 6.45am. Didn't felt like waking up so I continued to stay in bed for another hour and I woke up and went for breakfast. There were oats and cereals today.

Went for tute follow my lecture. Had a API exam briefing. Was rather upset to learn that there'll be no supps for that paper. Therefore, if I fail it, I'll not be able to do my Semester 2 in nursing and will have to repeat the entire module in 2009 and continue with semester 2 year 1 in 2009. That means I'll have to waste more $. One of my visa requirements is for me to pass. I'm not even sure if my visa would be terminate if I fail. I'm scared.

Have you had a time whereby someone very close to you block you on MSN? Well, it just happened to me. Reason being that the someone doesn't want to hurt me with their words. I didn't expect this to happen. And i didn't know why this got me so worked up, angry and upset. A mixture of emotions and feelings. I literally cried and tears rolled down my cheeks. I would rather be hurt by words from verbal diarrhoea then to be blocked.

Oh well, it spoiled my night. I should just go sleep now.

Goodnight people.

My new squeek squeek

I went over to the "largest" shopping mall in the southern hemisphere today - Chris and his best friend, Cory, brought me there. Westfield Plenty Village over at Mill Park. Not sure how true it is though. It has only 1 level and it seems that the second part of the building has been finished construction yet. I bought a Logitech mouse for $19.95. It's an optical mouse with a cable. Didn't want to buy a bluetooth mouse as it was rather expensive. Cory's quite handsome. One of the nice Auzzies I've seen here actually.

No lectures today. Wasted my time totally. Ate lots. Subway for lunch and Glenn's for dinner, which I had 2 servings at the latter.

Only 2 hours of tutorial (as I'm in the ESL [English as a Second Language] tute) and 1 hour of lecture on maladaptive behavior. It's the end of my day and I'll go home to study. And I nearly forgot, I've my assessment to do for anatomy. Hope it's not as tough as the muscles and bones one though...

I can't wait to get my learner's license so I can start driving around, supervised for at least 120 hours though. I'm intending to make an appointment soon so I can take the learners permit test once my exams ends. It's equivalent to the basic theory test we have back in Singapore. Hopefully I'll be able to get my permit and I can do some driving during the holidays. I can always ask some people, if possible, to let me drive them around. Haha...

Oh well, it's time for bed now. I should have an early night so that I can wake up early tomorrow morning to go for my tute at 10am. The weather is so nice and so cooling that it makes me very tired and sleepy easily. I'm beginning to become a pig. I need lots of sleep and this is very very bad when exams are less than a month away.

Cheers and goodnight people!

Escaping isn't a solution

I slept for about 16 hours today. Finally went to church after not going for almost a month now. The launch of the album, All for Love, by Planetshakers would be next week. I invited a few of my friends over, including Chris. I really hope Chris can make it though. He always makes my day. Met up with Fredrick and his friend, Jimmy and we went for dinner at Carnegie. We had korean food over at a restaurant called Kimchi. There's one outlet in the city too but the one in the city mainly uses the hot grill thingy. The food was nice and it was a little spicy. We went to Koko Black at Carlton thereafter for Hot Chocolate. It was nice.

It's already week 13 - the last week of lessons for the first semester. I just realised while chatting online with Chris just now that I only have 3 hours of lessons on Tuesday, 3 hours (or 1 hour, tentatively) of lessons of Wednesday and 1 hour of lessons on Thursday. No lectures, practicals or tutorials on Monday and Friday! I'm planning to start studying tomorrow as well as starting on my essay which is due on the 16th.

Some people like to think. And it hurts them either physically or emotionally. There are just issues to be faced. However, escaping and avoiding from these issues are not solutions. The issues would just come back haunting and taunting you time and time again.

Sometimes, I really wonder if I've made the wrong choice in being so open. I've been very open to one particular person. In fact, if that person asks me anything, or even my secrets, I would just confide in that person and would tell that person everything. This might not be very good, as it can be used against me. I would however, in turn, expect the person to be able to share his or her problems with me as well. But the fact is that the person isn't. Perhaps, I'm in somewhere new and this person is my closest friend. In fact, I would say that this person is the closest I've ever got to someone (both in Singapore and Australia), who isn't my partner. And that person is someone who has lived here for all his or her life and I'm not the only person here. It's never easy, but one can always try. But before that, one will have to change their mindset, give themselves the chance to do so and try doing it. If not trying anything and not giving themselves the chance to do so, one would never be able to achieve it. We need to take a step out of our comfort zone. We tend to look at the negative side of things, that when we do so, things may be against us. But, that is always not the case. I took a step out of my comfort zone and made a big decision, by faith, by coming to Australia.

I went to the overseas education agent's office in Singapore. I enquired about the course. It really bothered me. There were so many factors to consider. My friends, my family, my business, the cost and such. I was also never a clever student, barely passing my tests and exams in school. That was the reason why I didn't take my O levels and chose to go to the Institute of Technical Education instead. How I passed my Diploma in Mass Communication's just another miracle. Even till now, I do not even know if I'll be able to pass the 3 papers next month. However, I took a very bold step and a leap of faith. I decided to come to Australia. My parents were shocked. My mum was initially unsupportive but decided to let me come in the end. Cost was a rather big factor as well. Ever since I left Singapore, business hasn't been doing well. I am not from a well-to-do family. My mum resigned to take care of me while I was 14 and my dad's the sole breadwinner of the family. He has since retired and is currently working to past his time at the same company, on a contract basis till the end of August. No one knows if his contract will be renewed. Once the funds of my family's depleted, I would have to fly home immediately. It was another big leap of faith when I signed up for my hypnotherapy course. The moment I stepped on board the plane and settled onto my seat, as the plane took off, I just simply broke down.

I guess it's enough said for tonight. The more I blog, the more upset, troubled and worried I become.

Singlehood

Singlehood's taking a toil on me. It has its pros and cons. By being single, one would have more time to oneself. In fact, most of my achievements were made when I was single. But then again, I also wasn't attached for long either. When you're single, you wish you were attached and when you're attached, you wish that you were single. Humans are never contented with what we have. The grass is always greener on the other side.

I need someone to love and to be loved. I've been waiting and keeping my options open. Sadly, I've not been meeting up with others as no one has replied. Sometimes, I really wonder if God is forbidding me to go into a relationship and if it's His will for me to be single.

Love hurts - when you're single or if you've just broken up.

Mourning for the Mouse

I'm still not getting over the death of my beloved wireless bluetooth optical mouse, which has served me faithfully for a little more than 3 months. Until now, I keep reaching to the left of my laptop to reach for the mouse and to realise that it's not working. It has already become an autonomic response (I wonder if autonomic can be used in such a way). Wanted to go to Northland or the city today after my tute at 3pm to get a new mouse. I woke up from my nap only at 3.40pm after the sms from Nicolaas came in (Nicolaas is the dutch guy from Holland, Netherlands). After making a few calls, it was decided that I'll go to Northland tomorrow after our Preston market trip. Hence, I went back to sleep, hoping that I would be able to sleep till dinner time at 6pm.

I woke up about 20 minutes later and decided not to be such a pig and go do my laundry instead. Now, my bedsheets, clothes and such are inside the washing machine and I've nothing to do. I'm not motivated to study for now. I managed to do my readings for the special senses yesterday while I was at V's house. Guess I'll just slowly do my readings and start working on my last assignment for this semester, a 2500 word essay on Monday.

Time really flies. It's already the end of the week, Friday. It's kinda considered like a weekend now. Am going to Martins house later to check out what ingredients he has. He's asking for my assistance to cook Bak Kut Teh (meaning pork ribs tea, however, it just means stewed pork ribs and people last time used to drink it with tea, in hokkien). We'll be making red bean soup with sago as well. I'll try to remember to get gula melakka (brown sugar, in malay) from the market or the asian grocery shop. Hopefully I can find it as gula melakka's really nice if you use it to make soups.

I'm waiting for tomorrow so that I can start making calls and continue to send SMSes from my mobile phone. I upgraded my plan from the $29 cap which lets me use up to $120 to the $49 cap which lets me use up to $230 worth of calls and SMSes. Currently, I've exceeded my limit by so much that I think I'll have to pay about $150 in total for my upcoming bill. Hopefully from next month onwards, I'll not exceed it. In Singapore, I have 2 phones and 2 lines, which I pay about $35 and $28 totaling to $63 per month. Therefore, if i were to upgrade to the $69 cap, which lets me make $500 worth of calls and SMSes, it should be too bad too. Oh well, I'll just see how it goes, but I doubt I'll need to upgrade again. I've been using Skype to send text messages these days as long as I'm home. It's so much cheaper. 1 message costs $0.12 to send on Skype, compared to $0.35 on my mobile. I can send 2 messages and even have a balance of credit!

Everything here is just so expensive. Even the taxi fares. In Singapore, the flagcall's $3. It's $3.20 here. For every 1km of travel in Singapore, it's $0.60 while its $1.53 here. Waiting time: $0.30 per minute or less in Singapore, $0.55 per minute or less here. Midnight surcharge's 50% of cab fare in Singapore but it's only 20% of cab fare here though. Therefore, it's still very much expensive to travel in a cab regardless if it's during the day or at night.

V passed me the driving booklet so I can study it. I'm hoping to go to VicRoads during the holidays in July to get my learner's licence. The test costs $18.10 and the license costs $18.30 and it's valid for a year. That's so much cheaper compared to Singapore, where the vocational license costs $25 for 6 months. After renewing it twice back home, I decided to give it up as it's just too costly to renew it. The cost for the lessons here is about $1 per minute as it costs about $40 for a 40 minute lesson. It's about $69 for a 100 minute lesson ($0.69 per minute). Therefore, the practical lessons is still more expensive here.

Oh well, perhaps I should stop complaining and be satisfied with whatever I have. I'm grateful for all my friends here as well as for V. I really feel so comfortable and love the presence of V whenever V's around. It's been almost a month since we've got to know each other, however, it seems like only yesterday that we met. I really treasure and value the time that we've spent together. I really wonder when I'll get bored of V, but for now, I'm not and am still loving it.

And by the way, my clothes are out from the washing machine already and it's now in the dryer. This goes to show how long I've worked on this post (oh well, I tend to blog and surf other sites at the same time, so yea..). It's dinner time in about 20 minutes. I'm famished, have not eaten anything since 8pm last night.

Cheers and you're Blessed!

the cat ate the mouse.

I'm sitting on the floor, leaning on V's bed, using it as a backrest. Vs not feeling very well emotionally. I just want to spend time being there for V. One may appear fine on the outside, but deep inside, harm and damage is being done. Internal damage is bad. I hope that I can help heal the damage though.

My bluetooth mouse died. After turning it on, the cursor on the screen just wouldn't move, no matter how many times I moved it, reset it or turning it on and off again. I need a new mouse. And to think that I've only used the mouse less than a year. It's just 3.5 months to be exact. It's by logitech somemore. Gosh...

Goodnight peeps. I'm KISSing (Keeping It Short and Sweet).

Wireless Broadband Sux

I dislike wireless broadband in Australia. It's just so slow. Not only that, it's expensive. In Singapore, M1 charges $22.40 for 1mbps unlimited usage and $34.65 for 3.6mbps unlimited. I'm paying $50 for 6gb, with speeds up to 384kpbs. Not only that, I'm unable to play games online or make VOIP calls with it.

Supposed to meet Derrick for breakfast before he flies back to Singapore. However, I couldn't wake up. I woke up at 10.59am instead and my lecture was at 11am at the far end of the university. I immediately changed and rushed out of house, wearing only my havaianas, tshirt, berms and jumper, carrying my pencil case and file.

Normally, V would text me. However, I didn't receive any message today. After my lecture, I felt very lost, not knowing my directions and where to do. This is the very first time I felt this way ever since I came over to Australia. Never have I felt this lost before. After walking past V's favorite spot from the first level, I received his text message while walking down the stairs. I just felt so relieved and I almost cried. We had asian food at Ping's Cafe Moat thereafter. It was nice.

Met Fredrick in the evening for a short while and went to Marcus's place. Since he hadn't had his dinner, I bought something for him. Came home, chatted on the phone with pL for almost an hour. I miss him.

Time for bed. Nitez.

Planetshakers Free

It's been another long day. After going to the tutorial, I found out that the assignment's only due at the end of the day, last submission by 4.30pm. This is what happens when you have 2 tutors from 2 different departments. Attended all my lectures for today. Took a 20 minute nap before dinner and went for the Glenn College bible study thereafter.

We looked at the Last Supper, Pastover and the Covenant. Interesting stuffs. I managed to get the latest album from Planetshakers, Free. After listening to the song, I Need You, all the memories and such came gushing back to me.

I just made V annoyed. I typed something in hokkien (louya) and thereafter the meaning in English. However it didn't get to him fast enough and he got annoyed. Sobs... =( I need to be more conscious next time so that I won't get him annoyed or anything like that again...

It dawned upon me that we have to be very careful whenever we speak or say something. We are so used to speaking in Singlish that we don't even realise that people do not actually understand us. We separate them from us unknowingly. This is a BIG problem. We, myself included, need to really work on this and be more conscious of our surroundings and the people around us. Perhaps, this is one of the reasons why the locals do not come and mix around with us the international students - they do not understand us and hence find it difficult to communicate and be with us.

Time to turn in. Goodnight peeps!

I need sleep

1 more assignment done. 1 more 2500 word essay left, due on the 16th of June followed by exams on the 18th till the 23rd of June. It's the semester break thereafter. I'm still wondering what I should do during the winter break. I should save up and not spend as I've already spent money on my hypnotherapy course. 3 weeks of holidays would just fly by and it's the start of semester 2.

Went over to V's house last night to do my essay. Arrived at about 11.30pm and stayed up all the way till 5.30am. By that time, V was already fast asleep and at times, snoring away. I felt so much like taking my handphone to take a picture but the good me didn't. Woke up at about 8am to continue working on my essay and left the house at about 11am. Even though V wasn't with me, doing the same thing I did and such, I enjoyed V's presence.

I slept at 1pm and woke up at 5.45pm only to realise that it was dark and I had missed by anatomy lecture from 3 to 4pm. Luckily there's Lectopia for me to watch so that I can attend the lecture virtually. The advantages and wonders of technology.

Derrick's going back to Singapore on Wednesday and at almost the same time, Fredrick's touching down. I guess they'll be on the same plane. It's another week of having someone from Singapore to come visit me. For now, I'm planning to meet up with Fredrick in the evening and bring him out for dinner as they're not really sure of Melbourne and they have no friends or relatives here, unlike Derrick as his cousin's studying here.

Time for me to go to bed. Tute's at 10am and that's when I've to submit my assignment to my tutor. It's another long day, with only a 1 hour break and ending only at 4pm.

Ciao!

In the city.

It has been a rather slack weekend. I've been out since Friday. I woke up early on Friday morning and ate my breakfast of eggs, hot dogs, baked beans and hash browns. Ran all the way to the tram stop (which took me 8 minutes) and managed to catch the tram on time. Took the tram to Clifton Hill to catch the 246 bus to Elsternwick. I had a consultation with the lecturer. She advised me to take the certificate course in Hypnotherapy and gave me advanced credit standing due to my previous studies. I've since paid a deposit and classes will start on the 15th of August. It's once a month from Fridays to Tuesdays for 5 months. And since I might miss the lessons on weekdays, one to one makeup lessons would be given to me. That's rather nice. All books and materials are provided in the course fee. Well, it has to be as I'm paying so much for it.

I went to the immigration office in the city. There were so many people and I had to wait for a little more than an hour just to get a label printed and pasted onto my passport. Now I'm legally able to work for no more than 20 hours per week or full time during my holidays. As a result from the wait, I was late for my physiology tutorial. Couldn't even get into the class as the door was locked (Doors are locked from the inside and it's an auto lock). Didn't want to knock it as there was only 5 minutes left. I went straight to the anatomy wet lab instead. Had the wet lab (it was on the head, so there were heads everywhere). Heads sliced into half, some with the skin even on so you could actually tell how the person looked like. After the lab, went home for a rest and went to the city again.

Was invited to a concert at Waterfront City, Docklands. It's a very nice place with nice housing. Had fish and chips there. A little expensive though. Went to crown thereafter. I wasn't allowed entry into the bars there as I had no valid form of identification. Student passes are not allowed. Ended up at St. Kilda's and we went drinking by the jetty. Boy, it was cold with the wind blowing. Took the last tram back to the city and the nightrider back to uni.

Didn't really have much sleep. Woke up and rushed down to Melbourne Central to meet the rest of the internationals at Max Brenners. It was a really cold day with an average temperature of 10 deg. Just chocolates alone filled my stomach and killed my appetite till about 9pm. Met Derrick thereafter and he passed me my flip flops. It's of a different brand, some Brazilian Pralio brand or something like that. He also passed me my packet of snow skin powder, so that I can make mooncakes! I went home thereafter. Shortly after I went online, Phil msged me asking me to go to his house to spend the night with him drinking. I agreed so I made my way down to the city again. I'm glad I validated my weekend daily met card so I only spent $2.90 on transport for the whole day. As I was already feeling hungry, I decided to grab a quick bite. V was in the city as well so I met up with him and we had Macdonalds. I met up with Phil thereafter. I drank a drink, think it's called Southen something. Forgot already. It was quite nice and not very bitter.

Woke up at about 9am as Phil had to go to work. Working on a Sunday really sux. Haven't had that or a long time already. The last time I really worked on a Sunday, apart from agency nursing was when I was with Changi General Hospital, which was like 4 years ago? Was supposed to meet Derrick, but not sure what time, so I headed over to Mac again, this time for breakfast. They have no Big Breakfast on their menu. All they had were muffins and hotcakes. Even the cup for the tea is much smaller than the one back in Singapore la... =(

It was already 10am, so I decided to call Marcus ask asked him if I could go over to his place. I went up, we chatted and we went to lalaland, him on his queen-sized bed and me on his soft bed. I didn't open it up fully as I was lazy to so I just snoozed on the sofa. Woke up at about 1pm and started surfing. Called Derrick and found out that he wouldn't be able to come to church with me, so I'm now stuck where I am. I can always go home, or just choose to waste my time away here, which of course I've decided on the latter. Not sure what I'll be doing later though. Lulu's still curled up in bed. Perhaps we'll go for lunch even though I'm not hungry. I'm actually having thoughts of cooking now, using whatever available items he has, but if I were to do that, I'll have to wash the dishes in the sink first. I don't even know how long it's been there. And the rice cooker on the floor - I'm not even sure when was the last time he used it. Am so afraid of opening the lid and having the stench. Haha...

V's spending the Sunday studying at home. Not sure if I should go join. What if I go and it disturbs or distracts whatever V's doing? I feel that I'm sitting on the fence. Sometimes, going across the fence into the relationship/partner boundary. I feel nice and not uncomfortable though. However, I'm not sure how V feels. I love the feeling of having V around though.

Oh well, I guess it's time to wake lulu up soon and for him to have his breakfast. Haha...

Ciao! (meaning, run, in Hokkien [a dialect], or a way of saying goodbye)

Derrick's in Melbourne!

Derrick and his family touched down safely in Melbourne. I was praying to God last night to grant them journey mercy. I'll be meeting him and his family either tomorrow evening or on Saturday. He's going to pass to me what my mum passed to him for me - beret with crest, army cap, my pair of havaianas, FREE by Planetshakers. I bought a very nice poster for him, it's a view from the cockpit of a plane. I hope he likes it.

I saw V today. Of course I felt very much better after seeing V. But the pain still lingers. It's like having a knife stab through your heart. After providing medical attention and taken medication, the wound is still there as fresh as ever and the pain lingers. Are our morals different? I don't see it different, actually. I think my behavior could be attributed to the fact that I'm treating V as someone very very close to me. We're standing on a fence, sometimes, crossing it even.

Shane, my friend commented over Windows Live Messenger that he could tell that I liked V. "You get a cute little grin as soon as you see V and you look happier around V."

Well, I'm not sure how long the grin would last. Only time would be able to tell. I just want the wound to heal quickly. I do not like the pain. Who likes pain?

Time to sleep. I need to be up by 7am as I'll have to be at Elsternwick by 9.30am for a personal consultation. It's for the hypnotherapy class which I'm interested to participate in August. I hope all goes well and I'll be given advance standing so that I would be able to save cost.

Goodnight everyone. Cheers!

Argh!

My request for an extension to submit my essay from next Tuesday to next Friday has not been granted. It requires valid reasoning, documentation and evidence. Oh well, seems that I'll just have to rush through it now.

Derrick and his family would be touching down tomorrow night. I intend to bring him over to Planetshakers City Church on Sunday for the earth shaking experience. Not sure what his other plans are though. I know he wants to go to Albert Park to see the F1 racing track though. Hopefully I would be able to get him there without any detours. Oh well, I'm only here for 3 months, I'm not expected to know every single bit of Melbourne right?

Urban Life's on Friday. Eileen, the group leader called just now and informed me that we'll be having steam boat for dinner. Yay!

I'm just heart broken now. V smsed saying can't keep doing things with me and it's causing V damage. I just need V to talk. Causing V damage would equate to causing myself damage, now that I'm feeling rather emotionally attached to V. I was doing my assignment what I received that and it kinda spoilt my mood for the night. I really can't bear to hurt V.

Thinking too much can be harmful. I believe that things should just go the way it should be. Prevention is better than cure. But, if we do not even know what the effect is, why should be prevent it? Self control is one of the fruit of the spirit. But sometimes, certain things are just beyond our control. Take a river for example. It flows. It cannot be stopped, else it'll overflow its banks. I always think and take myself as a river.

If I were to control myself, I guess I wouldn't be where I am now. I wouldn't even be as successful now. I would not even be in Australia and just working myself off in a hospital in Singapore. No connections with friends and such. It's scary coming to think of what Ive done and how much and how far I've went. It's time to just let things out and stop controlling ourselves.

Heartbreak. Period.

Another assignment done. 2 more to go.

It's a Monday! I burned the midnight oil, rushed my 1500 word essay till the wee hours of this morning and I managed to complete it. By the time I slept, it was a few hours before sunrise. I woke up at 9.30am to walk to the nursing reception to submit my assignment, collect my daily dose of newspapers from the agora (that's where all the shops, eateries and people *winks* are...) and went back to bed to catch up on sleep. I'm a real pig. I need lotsa sleep, sometimes up to 10 hours (provided I can find the time to).

Only had 1 hour of lesson today from 3 to 4pm. It was an anatomy lecture about the Eye. Came back and started working on assignments. I've 4 short answer question of 300 words each and a 1500 word essay to write. I've since completed 1 short answer question. 4 more tasks to go.

It's Faezah's birthday tomorrow. I'll be waking up at about 5.45am to go to her house to bake her pancakes for breekie. I really hope I can wake up, judging that I only have less than 5 hours of sleep now.

V's been very nice. Always has. I wonder how long we'll last together like this. The future's uncertain. I love V's presence. Not doing anything. Just sitting by V's side quietly. I find the peace and joy.

Time to go to bed. Goodnight everyone. Wish me luck for my assignments.

Vodka Ribena & Pepsi

It was 3am and I was in a cab with Marcus and V. We went over to South Yarra, supposed to look for a place where we could chill out. Ended up in a greek cafe instead. We had cookies and cream cake and baileys cake. It was nice, 3 of s couldn't finish it. We bunked over at Marcus's home.

I came home, finished up the first part of my assignment. I'm now left with the second part, which is the tougher part. I've till Monday to finish it as I've to submit it by 10am. Took a 2 hour nap as I was rather tired and went to dinner thereafter.

Went over to the health science resource room in college, supposed to work on the assignment but only managed to complete one sentence. I just didn't have the mood to do anything. V's so lucky, out with friends clubbing and drinking. I wish I was out too. It's been a long while that I've actually been clubbing and/or drinking.

I ended up drinking vodka with ribena and pepsi instead. Now i'm a little high and am listening to fabulous 2008 and blasting the music away. Please don't stop the music~~~ I wanna take you away~~~

Oh well, won't be going to shake the planet tomorrow as I've to be home rushing my essay. Hoping that I can finish it by tomorrow evening as it's note printing night tomorrow and the poddies would be in my room printing notes for the week. It's something which I look forward to, people coming together to interact and have fellowship. I like seeing people getting along with each other. That's why I love seeing V smiling and being happy.

I cherish and treasure the moments we spend together as I do not know how long we'll be like this. Time flies. Everything will be gone in a blink of an eye. I'm trying as hard as I can not to blink. Sadly, all good things must come to an end. I don't want it to end. I want it to be the way it is now, but of course, with a better friendship and with sharing of more stuffs. I do.

You light up my life

I'm stuck with my assignments still. I really wonder how I can finish it and hand in the 2500 word essay on Monday at 10am. Sigh... I'm unmotivated. Or rather, my motivation's heading at a wrong direction. I'm slacking instead of doing my assignment. Oh well, I AM doing, but I just don't know what to write. I keep typing and backspacing. I just can't get my brain to work properly.

I signed up for a VIP membership for Big Brother. Now i get to watch exclusive videos of BB as well as the live feed of BB. It's kinda interesting to see 15 people of different occupations and background staying in a house for 3 months without contact of the outside world. No internet, no television or radio. Housemates are filmed 24 hours a day and they are to wear their mics at all times. They must also sleep with their mics on. Imagine if they snore real loud.. hehe...

I was listening to 883Jia fm on the netradio when this song was played. You light up my life. And I thought of V. Indeed V has lighted up my life. Always seeing V's happy face always smiling and laughing, never have I once seen a sad face. I've decided to go to V's house tomorrow to do my assignment and perhaps do reading on my text. Hopefully with the change of environment, I'll be more productive. Had a short chat with V today. We'll just take whatever goes our way, be it good or bad. Ultimately someone has to get hurt, either V or me. Nothing much we can do about it. Let's just see where lady luck or fate takes us.

Have a nice night everyone. God Bless!

It's Flying!

How time flies. It's 3 more days before I'll be here officially for 3 months. So far, what's been achieved? I've got my permission to work pass (well, only half of it as I've not went down to the office to collect it), started Film Five Management in Australia, went on Australia radio and my grades thus far has been rather good. I really wonder what will happen to me in another 3 months time. My exams would end on the 25th of June and that's less than 2 months from now. Thereafter, I shall be rotting in Australia. Hopefully V would be able to accompany me though...

I was watching the video on the announcement of the host city for the first ever Youth Olympics which will be held in 2010 last night and I got homesick. And during the part of the Uniquely Singapore clip, I got more homesick. When the results was announced that Singapore was the winner, I felt so happy - even though I've already known that Singapore won.

My assignment's due on Monday and I'm still not even half-way through it. I guess I'm someone who works a little better under stress. V came for a little while to my room this afternoon after my lessons. As I was rather tired, I just went straight to bed while V used the computer. After a while V left - I was still rather drowsy then, so I just said bye. V didn't have an umbrella and got drenched. My heart sank. What if V fell sick? I would feel so bad then. I've not been missing V these days. I'm just happy and contented to have V as my friend, a close friend. If we do get together, then it'll just be a plus for me.

Time for bed. I only have 2 hours of lecture tomorrow as the last 2 lectures for the day was carried forward to last week. Yay!

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from
anguish, sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
"You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
you have not been there for me?"

The Lord replied,
"The times when you have
seen only one set of footprints in the sand,
is when I carried you."

Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved.

My thigh muscles are aching. Went jogging last evening and again this morning. I forgot that I'm no longer as fit as I was during NS. Now, I intend to jog on Monday and Friday mornings, yoga on Tuesday evenings and swim on Sunday mornings.

I bought 3 posters today. 2 large ones and a small one. All thanks to Martin for asking me to accompany him to the poster sale. One big poster was an art painting of the last supper (the one with Jesus and His 12 disciples) and the other was the footprints poem (which has been reproduced as above). The small poster was the cover picture from the movie Brokeback Mountain. It's now taped on the wall of my room. I'm hoping that it won't fall off anytime soon. The disadvantages of not haivng blu-tac.

I spent most of my night (well, not really long but I found it rather long though) with V. We watched Big Brother on TV in my room together. It was so nice having V around. I love V's presence and all the things that we did together. I hope that we'll just stay like that or progress to something better. I'm not sure if I'm putting myself in danger by trusting in V so much and treating V so much like my partner. I'm just hoping that no one betrays me and such. And after reading the footprints poem, I wish I could be the one carrying V and being with V through all the thick and thins, the most trying, low periods of life and sufferings.

It's time to turn in. Have a goodnight everyone. Remember that Jesus will never forsake anyone. Jesus doesn't care what you've done before, now or forever as long as you have Him in your life.

It's left.

V's not feeling right, both physically and emotionally. I'm affected by it, emotionally. I'm worried for V. I've no mood for anything now.

Gosh! How can this possibly be? How can I be so easily affected by someone? Sighs...

I hope V will be fine soon.. I'm praying to God for strength and that His hand will be on V and V will just be much better soon.

=|

Pastor Russell Evans @ Northside Church

I went to Northside Christian Church this morning. Pastor Russell Evans from Planetshakers City Church was the guest speaker today. He spoke about our church's theme for this year, Devoted To Make A Change. During the first service, he spoke about bringing Heaven to Earth and in the second, he preached about us as missionaries of God. The context was the same as what he spoke in Planetshakers City Church, only difference is that he had no powerpoint slides to highlight the key points and that there were lots of examples in everyday life and stories. After listening to the sermons, it really impacted me, seeing the grace of God, how He blesses people using people like us and everyday circumstances.

Decided not to go to Planetshakers City Church today so that I could come home to concentrate on my studies and start my assignments. I had Subway for lunch. It's always the same thing that I have from Subway. A wrap (the only thing which I have to choose is the type of wrap I want, as in the filling), all vegetables, salt & pepper, honey mustard with a drink and 2 cookies. It's been about an hour since I've reached home but yet to start on my assignment. Will be going jogging with Faezah at 4.30pm. Downloaded the latest version of OpenOffice, OpenOffice.org 2.4. I dislike my wireless broadband. Not only is it slow, I'm unable to have VOIP calls as it lags badly, Trevvy takes ages to load and fails to load properly, I can't play MapleStory on it and go googleing on earth with it. Even listening to YES 933 is a problem as it buffers every 5 seconds or so. I can only listen to Power 98 or Jia 883 or use mIRC with it.

I miss SportsmenAsia and New Urban Male (although I don't frequently patronise NUM, only for their Havaianas). I'm looking for shops which are as good as NUM for clothes and such, but I just can't seem to find them. I might go over to South Yarra (Commercial Road/Chapel Street) to look for shops which sells clothes from Ajax63, Priape, Toot, N2N, neo:geo, Unico, xXx, Intense, 10%, 2(x)ist and such. My current pair of Havaianas are giving way. Thankfully Derrick's coming over on the 15th so I can ask him to help me get a pair and bring them to me when he comes.

I like people to be direct with me. I take hints very badly (real, real bad) and like those who are close to me to share their feelings and thoughts with me, be it positive or negative. I like them to help me what they like and dislike and such. I love to hear them saying things from what they are really feeling, what they wish and like and not what I would like to hear. I like people being sincere.

I woke up this morning feeling tired. Now, I'm still tired. I'm a real lazy pig. I've wasted my whole afternoon away. I should start doing my work tonight. After waking up this morning, it dawned to me that I wasn't missing V anymore. It has been for the past 2 days that I woke up wishing that V would be by my side. And while showering, I suddenly had the feeling of loss, that I had lost V. It struck me hard. Losing someone is not a good feeling at all. Reality came back at me. V's still with me. Like I've said earlier, if things don't work out well, we'll just be friends. But for now, I no longer miss V, but just long to see V again in time to come. I really wonder what's the pull that V has on me. I would think that it's the heart, attributes and personality. Physical attributes are secondary - they aren't important in the recognition of humanity I recon.

Oh well, I shall let God and time decide. I walk by faith, each step, I take, I put my trust in You.

Cheers and Blessed Sabbath!

Mixed Feelings

It's a Friday! I'm waiting for my lecturer to finish marking my very first assignment written for university. It was supposed to be ready for collection by Thursday but the last time I went to check its status as of 4.30pm, it wasn't ready.

There's the Glenn College International's Dinner later. We're going to Mosskito Cafe Bar & Lounge in the city. It's then the PlanetUni Urban Life after the dinner if it isn't too late.

Assignments and essays are driving me nuts. There's so many times which I felt like giving up, withdrawing from uni and the head back to Singapore to work or apply for a business visa and concentrate on film 5 in Australia. I'm so thankful to my friends here for all the support given to me and such.

I got to know V. V's a very nice person with a cute sweet smile. I told lulu about V and he says that V's good-looking. We have been rather close to each other for the past week. Will what people say come true - that I'll come back with an Auzzie? I'm not sure as yet. It can't be denied that feelings for V is slowly growing. It all started when I was bored during lecture and I started smsing people asking them how their day was and I happened to see V on my contact list. Not remembering who V was, I sent it over and V replied. We met and got along quite well with each other. As for now, it's just time to get to know more about the both of us. I'm not sure where this would be heading, but it's progressing very fast. Although I feel that we should give more time, it's easier said than done. Lulu was encouraging me, better chase and pursue my dreams, after such a long time. I felt quite relieved after hearing what he said, but then again, it's all up to V. Right now, I just miss V.

Ta!