Busi

These few days has been rather busy for me in the office. Lotsa things to see to. 1 new staff coming in, 1 staff leaving and another taking urgent leave. That takes away all the extra time to shake legs in the office away. Ooops... :x

I miss him, even though we have been chatting over the phone almost every night. It's been some time since we last met. I just miss his physical presence. But well, he's always in my heart. You know, the feeling of loving someone yet not being able to call him your other half, is horrid. Is it just another test of patience? And the worse thing is that, i'm already treating him like my other half, in fact, he's my unofficial other half. I think of him when i'm at work, i think of him wen i'm having lunch, i think of him wen i'm busy even, hoping that he's fine and sometimes just wondering how he is and what he's doing. I hope that i wun be hurt by him though. sigh...

Sometimes, i have the thought that he's just using me as a temporary replacement as he's on a rebound from a bad relationship. And whenever i think of that, i'll feel very very very upset and bad. sighs... who knows if it's even true...

Now waiting for him to finish his conversation with his friend, and i'll wait for him to decide if he still wants to chat or not.. i dun wanna tire his mouth out. haha...

Going swimming tomorrow with lennel. Asked kenneth along but he's lazy. Well, i dun wanna force him so yea, just let him be.. anyway, i'll already be meeting him this saturday. Can't wait to see him again. I just love him. sigh.......

Halfway through blogging, i went to pee. While peeing, i was thinking to myself, why am i getting this feeling? The feeling of loss. I guess i'm getting possessive. i can be wen i feel "endangered". Do i feel like i'm loosing him? Comeon, it's only a long phonecall that he's on wif his friend. How can he every tolerate me if i always act, behave and feel this way wen ever he's on the phone for a long long time??? Well, i guess i just feel threatened. Sigh...

Why is it that i'm not "single"? Why did i get "attached"? I seriously do not know the reason even. Why do i like him of all others? I can't even explain it. He's just an average boy-next-door. Well, i guess it's coz of his heart, attitude and personality. He's just different.

Why can't everyone just be single without any problems? Why do i long for him? I long for the day whereby i can just hold his hand and walk down the aisles in church with wedding bells ringing. Well, i guess, at this stage and point in time, just being able to hold his hand will do.

My mood now: mixed and a lil sad. Asked him if he wanted to chat still and he said yes. I would never want to disappoint him, but, i'm just feeling very bad. The longer i'm waiting in vain, the worse i feel. I just feel like crying, well, in fact, a tear just rolled down my cheek. Is he really worth the wait? I would say yes still though... sigh... Why did he trap my heart? No one knows.

Goodnight people...